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7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From How I Met Your Mother

7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From How I Met Your Mother

I absolutely love How I Met Your Mother. Not only does it make you laugh and cry, it teaches you some great life lessons in each episode. We can learn many things from How I Met Your Mother, from what it takes to get your dream job, to finding love in our current modern world.

Spoiler alert: This article contains elements from all seasons, including the ending. Do not read on if you do not want to know!

1. It’s not about who wins; it’s about compromise.

“I guess sometimes you just have to set your ego aside…” Marshall

“… And remember that the love that you have for that other person is way more important than winning.” Lily

In season four of How I Met Your Mother, Lily and Marshall have a falling out over dirty dishes. Barney has managed to convince Marshall that he shouldn’t have to put his dirty dishes in the sink (which we know is bad advice). Several arguments later and my favorite HIMYM couple come to realize their errors (as they always do). They agree that it isn’t about who wins; it’s all about compromise.

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I have come to find that this statement is very true. For a relationship to work, you should learn to compromise. As Lily and Marshall said, the love you have for that person is way more important than winning. You have to learn to come to an agreement with your partner by meeting them halfway.

2. You won’t find love by constantly looking for it.

“You can’t force destiny. If it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen.” Ted

Ted has taught us a lot about finding love. The biggest lesson we can ever learn from Ted is, you won’t find love by looking for it. No matter how hard Ted tried, he struggled to find love and his happy ending. Yet in the end, he found love when he wasn’t looking. When he met his future wife, he did not do a typical “Ted” and go chasing after her, declaring his undeviating love for her. Instead, he decided to let it happen and, as we all know, it did.

Ted spent years of his life searching for love, instead of enjoying himself without the worry that he wouldn’t find it. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, so don’t spend time looking for them. They will find you when the time is right.

3. Long distance relationships rarely work.

“Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.” Ted

In season one of How I Met Your Mother, Ted fell in love with Victoria, who unexpectedly moved away to Germany. After debating whether to end their relationship or not, they decide that they wanted to try a long distance relationship. We come to find in the very next episode that this was a mistake. Ted finds that their phone conversations have become boring as they have nothing to talk about. He even finds himself falling asleep on the phone to Victoria! Their relationship finally comes to a abrupt end when Victoria discovers Ted is trying to sleep with Robin.

Although some long distance relationships can work, in my experience, I have learned they don’t. Even Lily and Marshall admitted when they tried long distance briefly, it nearly “killed” them. The problem is simple: you can’t fully develop a relationship without seeing each other. Yes, you can talk and text all you want, but being with someone in person gives you more intimacy (and I’m not just talking about sex).

4. Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.

“Kids, your grandma always used to say to me, ‘Nothing good happens after 2:00 a.m.,’ and she was right. When 2:00 a.m. rolls around, just go home and go to sleep.” Ted

The concept is simple, nothing good happens after 2 a.m. We come across this is the same episode where Ted breaks up with Victoria in Season one. Ted’s long distance relationship with Victoria has become stale, when Robin, the love of Ted’s life, wants Ted to come over to her place. Ted ends up lying to Robin, saying that he has broken up with Victoria and wants to be with Robin. When Victoria calls and speaks to Robin, she realizes Ted has lied to her.

We can learn from this that 2 a.m. is never a good time to make decisions. It is too late (or too early) to think clearly, so instead you should rest up and save your energy.

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6. You won’t get your dream job overnight.

This is a great lesson you can learn from Robin. Throughout the series, we watch Robin as she struggles to get her dream job as a TV Anchor. She spends years taking on horrid jobs, including doing the “fluff” pieces on the news to the dreaded 2 a.m. slot. We see Robin grow agitated as she worries she will never get her dream job. In the season finale, we see that Robin is finally a famous TV Anchor. Ted comments to Robin on this, saying that her face is everywhere, just before a bus passes with Robin’s face on it.

This lesson is very simple. You won’t get your dream job overnight; it requires hard work. If you want to be a writer, you can’t expect that writing one article will turn you into an overnight success. It takes time and practice to get your dream job. If you put that time and attention into your work, you will succeed.

7. Friendships come and go.

“And that’s how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.” Ted

In series nine of How I Met Your Mother, we find that eventually people move on and we lose contact with friends. The gang learn this when they are all debating on whether Gary Blauman should be at Robin and Barney’s wedding. When their arguing causes Gary to leave, our favorite gang come to realize that they might never see Gary again. This is when they come to realize that if you want that person in your live, you have to do something about it. As Ted puts it, “You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.”

Over time, people change and with it friendships fizzle out. We learn this as years later on, the How I Met Your Mother gang no longer spend long nights down the bar. Robin, having not settled down and focusing on a career, loses contact with the gang and continues on with her own life. The biggest lesson we learn from this is that time changes people, and we must make the most of the time we have with friends.

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8. There is someone out there for everyone.

“You can ask the universe for signs all you want but ultimately we’ll only see what we want to see…when we’re ready to see it.” Ted

How I Met Your Mother has come to an end, but we can learn one big lesson from the finale. In the last double episode special, we finally get the opportunity to meet the mother. After years of searching, we see Ted find the love of his life. Unfortunately this reaches a unhappy ending when the mother becomes terminally ill and dies. Yet Ted is not left alone because he can, at last, be with Robin.

We learn that no matter what age you are, how many years you spend looking for love, there’s always someone out there for everyone. Barney teaches us this too when his baby daughter, Ellie, is born. He expresses clearly “You are the love of my life.”

So there we have it, my all-time favorite How I Met Your Mother Life Lessons, but what are your favorites?

If you liked this, why don’t you try:

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http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/17-lessons-love-has-taught.html[/seealse]

Featured photo credit: Alastair2003 via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Jessica Charlotte

Jessica loves sharing her tips on life. She writes about happiness and motivation on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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