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7 Impossible Goals You Need To Stop Going After

7 Impossible Goals You Need To Stop Going After

Setting goals is a critical aspect of both short and long-term success. Goals help propel you forward, keeping you focused and on track. Goals can also transform unconquerable mountains into passable hills. These are the seemingly “impossible” goals worthy of pursuing. While difficult to achieve, these incredible endeavors stretch you, bring out your best and force you to find new opportunities and resources.

However, some goals are not labeled impossible goals just because they are really, really hard. They are labeled impossible because they actually cannot be achieved. Save yourself the heartache and kick these energy suckers to the curb. Here are 7 impossible goals you need to stop pursuing:

1. Aiming to Please Everyone and Avoiding Conflict

Bill Cosby once said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” He was right. Life is comprised of duality, but aiming to please everyone and avoiding conflict is an impossible pursuit. At some point you are going to ruffle some feathers. Not everyone is going to want to do business with you. There will be some who turn their noses at your crusade. That’s okay.

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Whatever the circumstances, one of two things will likely happen: 1) those not of the same mindset or interested will simply leave you to do your good work, uninterrupted or 2) those who do not immediately leave will be challenged by you and perhaps come away with a different point of view. Be open to different perspectives, without being rattled.

2. Never Experiencing Failure

In John Maxwell’s book, Failing Forward, he says, “Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.” What a great way to look at failure! Failure ends many good endeavors because it’s perceived as an indicator of worthiness and most of us cannot endure the pain. We cannot conceive of failing greatly and having to try all over again. Failure is going to happen. It’s inevitable. The sooner you face, accept and utilize it, the faster you will achieve success.

3. Achieving Success Without Making Any Mistakes

Where failure represents a possible end result, mistakes occur as a part of the process. I’m of the belief that there are no mistakes. There are choices, and those choices have consequences. We only consider a choice a mistake if we don’t like the consequence. If the consequence is favorable, we don’t consider the choice a mistake.

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So do we really make mistakes or do we merely learn from the consequences we face? Either way, it’s the little stumbles that make us stronger. If you’ve made a choice and the consequences are not favorable, learn from the lessons and apply them as you continue your journey to greater success.

4. Being in Love All of the Time

All relationships are cyclical. The stages include getting to know each other, infatuation, passion, intimacy, compassion and back to getting to know each other all over again. The passion that comes with feeling and being in love is the most celebrated stage. This is when the sparks fly! Unfortunately, no relationship can sustain that level of intensity indefinitely. Hopefully those strong emotions resurface cyclically, but having an expectation of always experiencing romantic fiery love will leave you assuming something is wrong when you’re not feeling it.

All stages of relationships are important to grow closer and fall more deeply in love. Acknowledge where you are in your relationship and enjoy it!

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5. Being the Best in Every Area of Your Life

Diluting your energy, focus and resources trying to master or perfect several areas is a quick path to mediocrity. Just as we can’t be all things to all people, we can’t be perfect in every area of our lives. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We can collaborate with others to fill in our gaps, and our strengths can be invaluable to others.

Identify your strengths and your priorities and put your energy there. I have a friend whose favorite acronym is FOCUS: Follow One Course Until Success. It’s brilliant and has led him to be an expert in a very specific area and he has capitalized on that.

6. Never Having to Ask for Help

Why is asking for help so difficult? It is because we perceive it as a sign of weakness? Does it make us seem needy or incompetent? Whatever it is, thinking you can go it alone will leave you struggling far longer than is necessary. This is an unproductive and highly stressful way to live. There is going to come a time when you are in dire need of help. Accept that reality and don’t be afraid to reach out to others when some assistance is needed. To build this muscle, start by asking for small favors. “Do you have a piece of gum?”

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7. Staying Young Forever

Bette Davis said it best: “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Age is a state of mind and youthfulness will lend a quality of life that will serve you as grow older. Extreme practices to maintain an appearance of youth are futile. You can’t stay young forever, at least not where the hands of time are concerned. Play for as long as you can play, but don’t try to defeat aging. Embrace it and live your life.

There is something to appreciate at every stage; what do like about your current age?

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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