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6 Tips To Combat Shame That Will Inspire Your Self-Esteem

6 Tips To Combat Shame That Will Inspire Your Self-Esteem

Life is so hard; shame is so evident. Can we really combat shame? We all have shame. We all have good and bad, dark and night in us. But if we don’t come to terms with our shame, our struggles, we start believing that there’s something wrong with us – that we are bad, flawed, and not good enough – and even worse, we start acting on those beliefs – Brene Brown Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness; we will discover the infinite power of light. Here are the tips to combat shame that inspire your self-esteem:

Accepting yourself as you are

As Carl Jung said – “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”  Nobody is perfect; after all we are human beings. Accepting yourself as you are is the primary requisite to combat shame. We can’t let ourselves be seen if we are terrified by what people might think. Nothing is going to work unless you do the work. So take the decision to love yourself with all your imperfections.

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If others hurt you, the reason may not be always you

Most of us commonly attribute others’ rejection as a hallmark to validate ourselves. Just stop that. You are officially a prisoner of “pleasing, performing and perfecting.” Sometimes it’s just what you do not who you are. I’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking over fitting myself according to others expectations. Once I realized the fact, my heart is at ease.

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Express but don’t defend

Sometimes we may hurt others too. Let us not be arrogant and stupid – that may erode our relationships and enhance our shame further. In that case, the best tool is, “Express but don’t defend”. If you feel, you have done a mistake; just express your feelings but never ever defend. If you start defending, you give an impression that your feelings are not valid. Be proud by not defending your feelings. Usually inner strength is respected; we get back what we put out.

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Let go of need for approval

You are not here to please others; you just have to please yourself to live truly. Look at people in your life as “practice”. The way they react allows you to see what has to work on within yourself. Through them you can practice to let inappropriate reactions go off and develop more responsible ways of behaving. Instead of getting approval, if you practice the above said principle – you can miraculously improve your social relations with your needs keeping integrity intact.

Practice vulnerability

There is always a truth in paradox. You may think that being vulnerable is letting others to give the power to shame us. But the truth is vulnerability is the best antidote to shame. When we are vulnerable, we indirectly inspire others to be vulnerable too. Vulnerability is life’s great bravery. Inculcate it; embrace it to combat shame effectively.

Seek out empathy

The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives. Whenever you come across shame, just share with whom you trust; it relieves you to the core. Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event of circumstance. It conveys a simple acknowledgement, “You are not alone”. Before concluding, just remember these words from Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling – You are not a bad person. You are a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light bad dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.    

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

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