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6 Things About Life You Can’t Learn From Reading

6 Things About Life You Can’t Learn From Reading

Remember the park scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams reminds Matt Damon that just because he can quote from books doesn’t mean that he knows what he’s talking about. It’s considered one of the best scenes in (arguably) one of the best movies in cinematic history.

There’s a world of difference between reading something and applying it; anyone can repeat theory, but experience is where you’ll truly learn what it takes to go from point A to point B. Although your neighbor, classmate, or coworker can repeat the words from Mark Cuban’s biography, only Cuban himself truly understands what it took for him to get where he’s at – everyone else is just repeating the story.

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Some things need to be experienced to truly be internalized. Here are some things about life (skills, lessons, etc.) that you can’t learn just by reading about them:

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    I’m entirely sure this isn’t how reading glasses are supposed to work…

    Reading Can’t Teach You How to Close a Sale…

    You can read every sales manual in the world; you can even follow a generic script that’s “guaranteed to work.” All the reading in the world won’t give you the instinct necessary to close a sale and get that payment. If sales were as easy as reading a book, everyone would be selling books on how to sell, and everyone would be buying that book…and it would all just cancel out.

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    Reading Won’t Teach You How to Leave a Job…

    Quitting a job is something that everyone has advice for, but at the end of the day, you just have to do it. Leaving a job is like skydiving in that the anticipation is often worse than the actual event (unless, of course, you die). The butterflies in your stomach, your manager’s reaction – no matter how prepared you think you are, you won’t truly know the effects of quitting your job until you do it.

    Reading Doesn’t Teach You How to Write…

    Ok, yes…reading does teach literacy, which involves writing as well. What it doesn’t teach you, however, is how to truly open yourself up and write something meaningful – if it were that easy, every wannabe rapper would be on the cover of The Source magazine. The only way to learn how to write is to write…and write…and write…and…well, you get the idea.

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    Reading Won’t Teach You How to Overcome Failure…

    You can read all the steps and how-tos about recovering from failure, learning valuable life lessons on the way, but if it were that easy, there wouldn’t be so many cynics in the world. People are cynical because they’ve failed at something and decided it’s an impossible task not only for them, but for anyone. What lesson you learn from failure depends entirely on how you internalize the lesson and your personal thoughts and feelings are not something you can read about.

    Reading Doesn’t Teach You How to Say No…

    Rejecting another person is a difficult thing to do, especially when that person is particularly pushy or motivated to convince you. No matter how many books you read about confidence and body language, you have to actually execute it repeatedly if it’s ever going to work.

    Reading Can’t Teach Love…

    No amount of romance novels, porn, or relationship/dating manuals can explain what it’s like to experience love. When you’re a kid, you think falling in love is everything, and losing that love can feel suffocating and trap you in a mental prison. As you get older, you realize how much heartbreak you face in life – explaining those lessons to a young idealist as you once were, however, is impossible.

    As you can see, reading is fundamental, but it doesn’t teach you everything in life. Being well-read is important, and quoting literature is seen as a sign of intelligence in human society. Creating your own story however, is just as important as understanding the stories of others. If you want to be a human being and not just a robot, go out into the world and live, rather than sitting online or in a library, reading about other people’s experiences. You have more to gain than lose.

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    Last Updated on August 21, 2018

    How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Yes (Almost) Every Time

    How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Yes (Almost) Every Time

    I used to be so shy that speaking to girls made me break out in a sweat. It was so bad that if I as much as opened my mouth to say, “Hi,” my vocal pitch went up several octaves.

    As you can imagine, this didn’t exactly help me woo the ladies (unless by “woo” you mean make them want to giggle, run away, and/or hide).

    My troubles were a symptom of a common problem shared by many guys like you: I wasn’t confident in myself. Know the feeling? Let’s give your confidence (and dating life) a helpful shove in the right direction. This is how to ask a girl out and get a yes (almost) every time.

    Ground Rules

    Your Posture Should Scream Confidence

    Most men guarantee a rejection before they even open their mouth because their appearance does not express confidence. Here are some simple cues to help you remember the do’s and don’ts of posture.

    Do not:

    • Stare at the ground
    • Cross your legs/arms
    • Slump your shoulders
    • Fidget

    Do:

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    • Keep your chin up
    • Gaze forward
    • Shoulders down and back
    • Chest high

    When in doubt, think about how much space you are taking up. Is it a lot, or a little? If you’re not taking up much space, it’s possible you are curled up in a sad little ball (which just doesn’t make you look confident).

    Take up as much space with your body as you can to reflect that you are comfortable in your body (and this hopefully goes without saying, but keep it within reason — don’t go lying down on the ground in the middle of the bar or anything crazy!)

    The Clothes Make the Man

    No, you don’t have to be donned in a freshly tailored suit when you ask a girl out. But that doesn’t mean you should look like a slob either. Dress in whatever style fits your personality, but keep it classy. No wrinkled tees, dirty shoes, or other fashion disasters allowed. Don’t sweat the specifics, but whatever you do, dress like the handsome and polished fella you are.

    Gauging Interest

    Engage Eye Contact

    If a coffeehouse cutie catches your eye, shoot a few harmless glances in her direction. Linger for a brief moment before turning your attention elsewhere, but don’t voyage beyond the five second mark unless you want to be labeled a creeper.

    If she returns your gaze with a smile, this is a good sign that the feeling might be mutual.

    Do Not Confuse Kindness with Attraction

    Just because a woman smiles at or talks to you, does not mean she wants to take your friendship to the next level, so don’t get your hopes up without good reason.

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    Not sure if a friend likes you or not? Ask her out and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” without hesitation. Confidence is sexy (and even if she says, “No,” at least you’ll know for sure).

    The Approach

    Keep It Simple

    Don’t try to be funny and forget about impressing her. Women are attracted to men who are confident in their own skin, so bending over backwards in an attempt to “wow” a woman will probably just make her think you are trying too hard.

    Take a few deep breaths, think to yourself, “No big deal,” confidently walk up to her, and say, “Hi.” For bonus points, find something about her to compliment (maybe she has a neat tattoo, an expressive smile, or a witty t-shirt?).

    Does Popping the Question Sound Terrifying?

    If you’re worried about appearing nervous, let’s make your approach as quick-and-painless as possible.

    March up to her and say something like, “Hello! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say you caught my eye. I’m running late for a meeting/work/class/(you get the idea), but I’d love to get your phone number if that’s okay?”

    The Big Night

    Don’t Take a Sporty Woman to the Opera

    Did she say yes? Sweet! Let’s get ready for your date, you fine hunk of man, you.

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    Do some homework before the Big Night arrives. Ask her about things like favorite movies, sports, musical genres, and hobbies.

    This way, you can disguise your detective work as small-talk and surprise her with a perfect night out that fits her interests.

    Are You Listening, Ogling, or Waiting for Your Turn to Speak?

    Keep your eyes on her eyes when she speaks. If you show her what a classy, interesting guy you are, you’ll have more opportunities to check those out later.

    And REALLY listen to her! Listen actively, smiling and nodding in the appropriate places, and be ready with follow-up questions that show her how thoughtful you are. First impressions are huge, so don’t blow it!

    Keep It in Your Pants

    If you’re both ready to hop in bed together after the first night, I’m not gonna stop you. Different women have different comfort zones when it comes to sex, so I can’t give you a sweeping suggestion for when sex should become a serious consideration.

    That said, don’t push the issue if she isn’t ready. If you really like this girl, don’t blow it in a moment of overwhelming libido. I know it’s hard to be patient but remember: everything is better when you have to wait for it (plus it will be a lot more fun when she is ready … promise!)

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    Post-Date

    No Mind Games Allowed

    There is no “best time” to text or call after a date, so stop over-analyzing it.

    If she likes you, she will be more than happy to hear from you, no matter when that might be (Note: if the first date was a Grand Slam, you’d be wise to say, “Hi,” the following day and schedule a follow-up date ASAP because momentum is your friend).

    The only rule? Don’t be clingy. Confidence is hot, so keep calm and cool.

    Fellas: I hope you feel more confident in the question, “How to ask a girl out?”

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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