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6 Things About Life You Can’t Learn From Reading

6 Things About Life You Can’t Learn From Reading

Remember the park scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams reminds Matt Damon that just because he can quote from books doesn’t mean that he knows what he’s talking about. It’s considered one of the best scenes in (arguably) one of the best movies in cinematic history.

There’s a world of difference between reading something and applying it; anyone can repeat theory, but experience is where you’ll truly learn what it takes to go from point A to point B. Although your neighbor, classmate, or coworker can repeat the words from Mark Cuban’s biography, only Cuban himself truly understands what it took for him to get where he’s at – everyone else is just repeating the story.

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Some things need to be experienced to truly be internalized. Here are some things about life (skills, lessons, etc.) that you can’t learn just by reading about them:

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    I’m entirely sure this isn’t how reading glasses are supposed to work…

    Reading Can’t Teach You How to Close a Sale…

    You can read every sales manual in the world; you can even follow a generic script that’s “guaranteed to work.” All the reading in the world won’t give you the instinct necessary to close a sale and get that payment. If sales were as easy as reading a book, everyone would be selling books on how to sell, and everyone would be buying that book…and it would all just cancel out.

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    Reading Won’t Teach You How to Leave a Job…

    Quitting a job is something that everyone has advice for, but at the end of the day, you just have to do it. Leaving a job is like skydiving in that the anticipation is often worse than the actual event (unless, of course, you die). The butterflies in your stomach, your manager’s reaction – no matter how prepared you think you are, you won’t truly know the effects of quitting your job until you do it.

    Reading Doesn’t Teach You How to Write…

    Ok, yes…reading does teach literacy, which involves writing as well. What it doesn’t teach you, however, is how to truly open yourself up and write something meaningful – if it were that easy, every wannabe rapper would be on the cover of The Source magazine. The only way to learn how to write is to write…and write…and write…and…well, you get the idea.

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    Reading Won’t Teach You How to Overcome Failure…

    You can read all the steps and how-tos about recovering from failure, learning valuable life lessons on the way, but if it were that easy, there wouldn’t be so many cynics in the world. People are cynical because they’ve failed at something and decided it’s an impossible task not only for them, but for anyone. What lesson you learn from failure depends entirely on how you internalize the lesson and your personal thoughts and feelings are not something you can read about.

    Reading Doesn’t Teach You How to Say No…

    Rejecting another person is a difficult thing to do, especially when that person is particularly pushy or motivated to convince you. No matter how many books you read about confidence and body language, you have to actually execute it repeatedly if it’s ever going to work.

    Reading Can’t Teach Love…

    No amount of romance novels, porn, or relationship/dating manuals can explain what it’s like to experience love. When you’re a kid, you think falling in love is everything, and losing that love can feel suffocating and trap you in a mental prison. As you get older, you realize how much heartbreak you face in life – explaining those lessons to a young idealist as you once were, however, is impossible.

    As you can see, reading is fundamental, but it doesn’t teach you everything in life. Being well-read is important, and quoting literature is seen as a sign of intelligence in human society. Creating your own story however, is just as important as understanding the stories of others. If you want to be a human being and not just a robot, go out into the world and live, rather than sitting online or in a library, reading about other people’s experiences. You have more to gain than lose.

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    Last Updated on November 26, 2020

    How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

    How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

    As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

    “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

    The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

    5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

    Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

    Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

    1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

    Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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    2. Show Compassion

    If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

    3. Communicate Regularly

    Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

    Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

    4. Ask for Feedback

    Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

    If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

    5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

    Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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    How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

    Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

    Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

    According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

    You Can Find Good Help

    It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

    Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

    Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

    Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

    Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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    You Pull Together as a Team

    Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

    Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

    Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

    Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

    Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

    Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

    Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

    Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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    Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

    Your Career Shines Bright

    Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

    Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

    When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

    Final Thoughts

    At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

    At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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    Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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