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6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

Congratulations! You’ve found yourself a girlfriend and you’ve never been happier to spend your time with someone so wonderful. Everything is going well, except for one tiny little problem: her dad may or may not want to punch you in the face.

At least, that’s the impression he’s given you. No matter how much you try to stay out of his way or prove you are worthy of his daughter, he just doesn’t seem to be warming to you. Before you take it personally or begin trying too hard, here are the six reasons why he just doesn’t want you near his daughter:

1. You Are A Reflection Of His Failings.

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    mollybeee

    Who do you think you are? Turning up at his home, treating his baby girl like a princess, giving her all the affection and presents she could ever need or want? You’ve even got your hair combed and your fly done up, like you think you’re better than him! He was once like you, you know. All those years ago, before he became middle-aged and a father. But with hit age, comes years of failing to manage buying his own yacht or winning any sort of extreme sport competitions.

    When your girlfriend’s dad sees you, he is reminded of regrets that accompany the realization he is no longer the young stud he once was. You are an embodiment of his wasted years, his unaccomplished dreams, his increasing age and dwindling sexual prowess. You might as well just throw your extra, more potent testosterone, right in his face.

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    2. You Smell.

    origin_4019910553
      gagilas

      Yes, you may want to consider toning down the amount of cologne you wear, but this has more to do with pheromones.

      When you are close to your girlfriend’s father, your scent affects his behavior and emotions on a subconscious level. Even worse, you are making his daughter smell of you and he knows exactly what sort of activities you two get up to make that happen.

      As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this does not please him. To him, you may have well just peed on his precious princess. You are a threat, taking ownership of parts of his domain and he will not thank you for it. Speaking of which…

      3. You Are His Replacement.

      medium_14422934622
        Ryan Smith Photography

        Regardless of your sex, gender, age or how menacing you actually are or aren’t, you threaten to replace your beloved’s father as the alpha in his daughter’s life. He has reigned supreme as the main man in his baby’s life for a long time, and he’s not about to roll over and let you usurp his roll.

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        No matter how hard you try to prove to him that you are a worthy individual for him to hand his reigns over to, he will probably never be entirely convinced.

        4. You Are Annoying And Immature.

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          jaredeberhardt

          Even if you are the same age as her father or you’re the smartest human being to ever walk among us, he is still going to see you through a haze of irritation and condescension.

          Particularly if there’s a generation gap, he is probably going to regard every movie, type of music or hobby preference of yours as completely ridiculous because he already has his opinions on such things and he is not about to relent them to you. Everything you do is wrong, and what’s worse is you’re with his daughter, which is your most annoying quality of all.

          5. He Is Her Protector.

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            Kalexanderson

            As a father, he has spent many years cherishing and protecting his daughter with all the strength and determination he is capable of. So, he’s not likely to feel an instant connection with the person who is taking away his baby girl.

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            However, there may be a slightly deeper and creepier reason as to why he feels so protective of his daughter. Introducing the Westermarck Effect, otherwise known as reverse sexual imprinting. Put simply, the Westermarck Effect occurs when two people are kept together in close quarters for a significant amount of time, resulting in a significant desensitization to sexual attraction.

            As strange as this may sound, this could be why her father converts any sexual tension he feels toward his daughter into an almost unfeasible sense of protection.

            So beware: if you hurt his daughter, he will come down on you like a ton of bricks, and he’s constantly prepared to do so.

            6. You Are Impressive To Her Mother.

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              prischl

              Now, for the one person that will make him regard you as sexual competition: her mother.

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              As you shower her daughter with affection, attention and passion, her mum will probably begin to feel a little jealous, maybe even a little competitive. Can you guess who she’s going to be dragging into this weird romance battle? That’s right: the dad. As if he didn’t dislike you enough already, he is not going to appreciate being compared to you and it’s only going to make him resent you more.

              Unfortunately, if your girlfriend’s father experiences all or any of these feelings, then it may be impossible for you to change his mind about you. If he is a decent man, he will likely avoid actively trying to get rid of you and may even try to get to know you, but it’s unlikely he will ever genuinely like you either.

              Instead, you must accept that he will never like anyone who takes his daughter’s attention off of him and learn from him so that you can prepare for your own daughter’s future relationships.

              Featured photo credit: gratisography via gratisography.com

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              Siobhan Harmer

              Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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              Last Updated on January 15, 2021

              7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

              7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

              The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

              Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

              Posture

              First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

              • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
              • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
              • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
              • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

              All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

              Facial Expressions

              Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

              • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
              • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
              • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

              If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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              1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

              A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

              The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

              This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

              2. Relax Your Face

              New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

              The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

              To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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              3. Improve Your Eye Contact

              Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

              The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

              To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

              3. Smile More

              There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

              Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

              4. Hand Gestures

              Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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              It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

              5. Enhance Your Handshake

              In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

              “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

              It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

              6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

              As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

              Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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              Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

              Final Takeaways

              Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

              If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

              More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

              Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

              Reference

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