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6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

Congratulations! You’ve found yourself a girlfriend and you’ve never been happier to spend your time with someone so wonderful. Everything is going well, except for one tiny little problem: her dad may or may not want to punch you in the face.

At least, that’s the impression he’s given you. No matter how much you try to stay out of his way or prove you are worthy of his daughter, he just doesn’t seem to be warming to you. Before you take it personally or begin trying too hard, here are the six reasons why he just doesn’t want you near his daughter:

1. You Are A Reflection Of His Failings.

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    mollybeee

    Who do you think you are? Turning up at his home, treating his baby girl like a princess, giving her all the affection and presents she could ever need or want? You’ve even got your hair combed and your fly done up, like you think you’re better than him! He was once like you, you know. All those years ago, before he became middle-aged and a father. But with hit age, comes years of failing to manage buying his own yacht or winning any sort of extreme sport competitions.

    When your girlfriend’s dad sees you, he is reminded of regrets that accompany the realization he is no longer the young stud he once was. You are an embodiment of his wasted years, his unaccomplished dreams, his increasing age and dwindling sexual prowess. You might as well just throw your extra, more potent testosterone, right in his face.

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    2. You Smell.

    origin_4019910553
      gagilas

      Yes, you may want to consider toning down the amount of cologne you wear, but this has more to do with pheromones.

      When you are close to your girlfriend’s father, your scent affects his behavior and emotions on a subconscious level. Even worse, you are making his daughter smell of you and he knows exactly what sort of activities you two get up to make that happen.

      As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this does not please him. To him, you may have well just peed on his precious princess. You are a threat, taking ownership of parts of his domain and he will not thank you for it. Speaking of which…

      3. You Are His Replacement.

      medium_14422934622
        Ryan Smith Photography

        Regardless of your sex, gender, age or how menacing you actually are or aren’t, you threaten to replace your beloved’s father as the alpha in his daughter’s life. He has reigned supreme as the main man in his baby’s life for a long time, and he’s not about to roll over and let you usurp his roll.

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        No matter how hard you try to prove to him that you are a worthy individual for him to hand his reigns over to, he will probably never be entirely convinced.

        4. You Are Annoying And Immature.

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          jaredeberhardt

          Even if you are the same age as her father or you’re the smartest human being to ever walk among us, he is still going to see you through a haze of irritation and condescension.

          Particularly if there’s a generation gap, he is probably going to regard every movie, type of music or hobby preference of yours as completely ridiculous because he already has his opinions on such things and he is not about to relent them to you. Everything you do is wrong, and what’s worse is you’re with his daughter, which is your most annoying quality of all.

          5. He Is Her Protector.

          medium_8624301533
            Kalexanderson

            As a father, he has spent many years cherishing and protecting his daughter with all the strength and determination he is capable of. So, he’s not likely to feel an instant connection with the person who is taking away his baby girl.

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            However, there may be a slightly deeper and creepier reason as to why he feels so protective of his daughter. Introducing the Westermarck Effect, otherwise known as reverse sexual imprinting. Put simply, the Westermarck Effect occurs when two people are kept together in close quarters for a significant amount of time, resulting in a significant desensitization to sexual attraction.

            As strange as this may sound, this could be why her father converts any sexual tension he feels toward his daughter into an almost unfeasible sense of protection.

            So beware: if you hurt his daughter, he will come down on you like a ton of bricks, and he’s constantly prepared to do so.

            6. You Are Impressive To Her Mother.

            medium_4591502184
              prischl

              Now, for the one person that will make him regard you as sexual competition: her mother.

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              As you shower her daughter with affection, attention and passion, her mum will probably begin to feel a little jealous, maybe even a little competitive. Can you guess who she’s going to be dragging into this weird romance battle? That’s right: the dad. As if he didn’t dislike you enough already, he is not going to appreciate being compared to you and it’s only going to make him resent you more.

              Unfortunately, if your girlfriend’s father experiences all or any of these feelings, then it may be impossible for you to change his mind about you. If he is a decent man, he will likely avoid actively trying to get rid of you and may even try to get to know you, but it’s unlikely he will ever genuinely like you either.

              Instead, you must accept that he will never like anyone who takes his daughter’s attention off of him and learn from him so that you can prepare for your own daughter’s future relationships.

              Featured photo credit: gratisography via gratisography.com

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              Last Updated on February 21, 2019

              The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

              The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

              In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

              Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

              Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

              Conflicts are literally everywhere.

              Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

              Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

              Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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              Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

              Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

              Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

              The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

              Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

              Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

              How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

              Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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              Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

              Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

              How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

              Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

              Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

              Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

              How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

              Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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              Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

              Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

              How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

              Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

              Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

              Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

              How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

              Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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              Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

              Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

              How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

              Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

              Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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