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6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

6 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend’s Dad Hates You

Congratulations! You’ve found yourself a girlfriend and you’ve never been happier to spend your time with someone so wonderful. Everything is going well, except for one tiny little problem: her dad may or may not want to punch you in the face.

At least, that’s the impression he’s given you. No matter how much you try to stay out of his way or prove you are worthy of his daughter, he just doesn’t seem to be warming to you. Before you take it personally or begin trying too hard, here are the six reasons why he just doesn’t want you near his daughter:

1. You Are A Reflection Of His Failings.

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    mollybeee

    Who do you think you are? Turning up at his home, treating his baby girl like a princess, giving her all the affection and presents she could ever need or want? You’ve even got your hair combed and your fly done up, like you think you’re better than him! He was once like you, you know. All those years ago, before he became middle-aged and a father. But with hit age, comes years of failing to manage buying his own yacht or winning any sort of extreme sport competitions.

    When your girlfriend’s dad sees you, he is reminded of regrets that accompany the realization he is no longer the young stud he once was. You are an embodiment of his wasted years, his unaccomplished dreams, his increasing age and dwindling sexual prowess. You might as well just throw your extra, more potent testosterone, right in his face.

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    2. You Smell.

    origin_4019910553
      gagilas

      Yes, you may want to consider toning down the amount of cologne you wear, but this has more to do with pheromones.

      When you are close to your girlfriend’s father, your scent affects his behavior and emotions on a subconscious level. Even worse, you are making his daughter smell of you and he knows exactly what sort of activities you two get up to make that happen.

      As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this does not please him. To him, you may have well just peed on his precious princess. You are a threat, taking ownership of parts of his domain and he will not thank you for it. Speaking of which…

      3. You Are His Replacement.

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        Ryan Smith Photography

        Regardless of your sex, gender, age or how menacing you actually are or aren’t, you threaten to replace your beloved’s father as the alpha in his daughter’s life. He has reigned supreme as the main man in his baby’s life for a long time, and he’s not about to roll over and let you usurp his roll.

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        No matter how hard you try to prove to him that you are a worthy individual for him to hand his reigns over to, he will probably never be entirely convinced.

        4. You Are Annoying And Immature.

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          jaredeberhardt

          Even if you are the same age as her father or you’re the smartest human being to ever walk among us, he is still going to see you through a haze of irritation and condescension.

          Particularly if there’s a generation gap, he is probably going to regard every movie, type of music or hobby preference of yours as completely ridiculous because he already has his opinions on such things and he is not about to relent them to you. Everything you do is wrong, and what’s worse is you’re with his daughter, which is your most annoying quality of all.

          5. He Is Her Protector.

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            Kalexanderson

            As a father, he has spent many years cherishing and protecting his daughter with all the strength and determination he is capable of. So, he’s not likely to feel an instant connection with the person who is taking away his baby girl.

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            However, there may be a slightly deeper and creepier reason as to why he feels so protective of his daughter. Introducing the Westermarck Effect, otherwise known as reverse sexual imprinting. Put simply, the Westermarck Effect occurs when two people are kept together in close quarters for a significant amount of time, resulting in a significant desensitization to sexual attraction.

            As strange as this may sound, this could be why her father converts any sexual tension he feels toward his daughter into an almost unfeasible sense of protection.

            So beware: if you hurt his daughter, he will come down on you like a ton of bricks, and he’s constantly prepared to do so.

            6. You Are Impressive To Her Mother.

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              prischl

              Now, for the one person that will make him regard you as sexual competition: her mother.

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              As you shower her daughter with affection, attention and passion, her mum will probably begin to feel a little jealous, maybe even a little competitive. Can you guess who she’s going to be dragging into this weird romance battle? That’s right: the dad. As if he didn’t dislike you enough already, he is not going to appreciate being compared to you and it’s only going to make him resent you more.

              Unfortunately, if your girlfriend’s father experiences all or any of these feelings, then it may be impossible for you to change his mind about you. If he is a decent man, he will likely avoid actively trying to get rid of you and may even try to get to know you, but it’s unlikely he will ever genuinely like you either.

              Instead, you must accept that he will never like anyone who takes his daughter’s attention off of him and learn from him so that you can prepare for your own daughter’s future relationships.

              Featured photo credit: gratisography via gratisography.com

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              Siobhan Harmer

              Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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              Last Updated on April 11, 2019

              How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

              How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

              Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

              I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

              I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

              Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

              How Communication Skills Help Your Success

              Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

              Create a Positive Experience

              Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

              When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

              What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

              Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

              As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

              Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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              Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

              Help Leadership Skills

              It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

              Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

              As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

              Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

              If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

              Build Better Teams

              Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

              In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

              If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

              When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

              Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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              How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

              There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

              Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

              1. Listen

              Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

              Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

              People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

              Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

              Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

              2. Know Your Audience

              Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

              Here is a good way to think about it:

              Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

              You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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              3. Minimize

              I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

              He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

              Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

              State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

              The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

              4. Over Communicate

              So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

              What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

              Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

              Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

              Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

              There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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              5. Body Language

              The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

              When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

              In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

              When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

              Conclusion

              Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

              Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

              There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

              Now go communicate your way to success.

              More Resources About Effective Communication

              Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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