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5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Success That You Didn’t Know

5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Success That You Didn’t Know

Do you ever feel frustrated because you have an awful lot of ambition, but no tangible results to show for it? If so, then you are probably sabotaging your success without even realizing it. Read on to discover how self-sabotage happens and why your gut instincts cannot be trusted.

1. You put short-term desires before long-term success.

“Woo-hoo, I exercised today! I deserve a cookie.”

“I actually managed to save a few hundred dollars! Time to buy a new wardrobe.”

These quotes demonstrate a common form of self-sabotage, which is “treating yourself” with rewards that are in direct conflict with the long-term value you are trying to put into practice. A person who values their health wouldn’t use exercise as an excuse to eat junk. A person who wants to become wealthy wouldn’t splurge on unnecessary wants as soon as they manage to save a bit of money. Rewards are a good way to stay encouraged, but those rewards should not undermine your goal. Setting such a precedent could make a massive dent in your long-term progress if you get carried away with it. Since it will take a larger dose of a reward to satisfy your cravings as time goes on, you might eventually find yourself taking two steps backward for every step forward. Don’t risk it.

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2. You overestimate your capabilities and ability to commit.

“I know I haven’t exercised in a long time, but I’m totally going to train for an hour every day next year!”

“It’s been years since I have cooked at home, but it’s time to change. I am going to prepare home-cooked meals every day!”

These quotes demonstrate overconfidence in one’s abilities, which leads to extremely unrealistic expectations. If you eat fast food every day and haven’t been to the gym in over a year, then it is absurd to think you’re going to be able to follow a strict diet and training routine. You would have to willfully ignore a past history chock full of failures to believe that would be possible. Please understand that I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I just want to save you from disappointment. If you bite off more than you can chew, then you will merely set yourself up for failure. This experience could be so demotivating that you end up deciding you might as well give up. You probably won’t drop a waist-size in a month and you’re sure as hell not going to change all of your poor health habits overnight. Small changes stick better. Be patient.

3. You kid yourself into believing you’ll do better “tomorrow.”

“I’m already halfway through the week and I haven’t exercised yet. Oh, well. I’ll hit it hard next Monday!”

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“I know I shouldn’t eat all of this pasta, but that’s okay, I’ll just be sure to make REALLY good decisions tomorrow.”

These quotes demonstrate an insidious form of self-delusion that enables people to procrastinate indefinitely. Let’s be honest. Out of all the times you have said you would work out on Monday, how many times did you actually follow-through? If you can claim a success rate above 50%, I will wire you a thousand dollars. Okay, I’m not serious about the money part (NOT because I’m wrong –because you couldn’t possibly prove it), but you get the point. I played the, “I’ll work out on Monday,” game for an entire semester of college and it wasn’t pretty. My success rate was closer to 10%. To truly believe that you will do better “tomorrow,” you would have to delude yourself into thinking your future self will (somehow) be more disciplined than your present self. I hate to break it to you, but your present and future self are actually the same person. The more you kick that commitment to the next day (or week), the more likely you will keep doing it.

4. You do things that appear to be productive (but really aren’t).

“I reorganized my underwear drawer and made a To-Do list. Time to take a break!”

“Too bad I didn’t work out today, but hey, at least I read a bunch of fitness articles online!”

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These quotes demonstrate how easy it is to kid yourself into believing you did something “productive,” even though it resulted in no forward progress whatsoever. Procrastination is so clever that it can disguise itself in tasks that appear to be productive (but really aren’t). If you work from home and have projects with impending deadlines, then reorganizing your underwear drawer is the last thing you need to be doing. If you spend a lot of time reading fitness articles despite the fact that you rarely apply the advice they contain, then you are wasting your time. If an activity doesn’t result in forward progress, then you need to be brutally honest with yourself. You’re probably just mentally pleasing yourself in a misguided effort to feel better about your inaction and consequential lack of results. Harsh, but true.

5. You lie to yourself so much that your gut instinct can’t be trusted.

“I am better/different/smarter. This would never happen to me.”

“Man, I can’t believe some people are dumb enough to delude themselves like this! Poor chumps.”

These quotes demonstrate the fallacy of believing you are “superior” when you are far more likely to be average just like everybody else. Indeed, people who are overconfident are the most prone to make the mistakes discussed in this article, because their exaggerated (and often unfounded) belief in their abilities makes them arrogant. Arrogant people feel like they are better than everybody else, so they won’t be mindful of these forms of self-sabotage, and thus will be even more susceptible to them. Talk about irony!

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Remember these five steps if you want to stop sabotaging your success.

Have you noticed any of these forms of self-sabotage in your life? If so, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts in the comments. If you know a friend who could use a reality check, please share this article in a thoughtful email or social media share.

Featured photo credit: sascha lindner via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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