Family love is one of the most valuable gifts in life and one that you cannot buy anywhere. A good family accepts you inside and out, no matter how you look or what you do. Think about a time when you were broke and your family helped you get back on your feet, a time when you were down and they cheered you up, and when you were sick and you found relief in the arms of your loved ones. Your life is probably full of such small and big happenings that you could be grateful for.
Everyone needs such support in life.
Just as a happy and harmonizing family life can be a good support in almost all aspects of life, a sour relationship can be painful.
Whether you have a good relationship with your family, or not, depends on you: as always “two hands are needed to clap.” So if you find your relationship with your family is broken, consider the kind of thoughts and emotions you were sending out to them all this while. Give someone love and he or she will bloom!
It is always possible to mend a broken relationship; and it is better now than never. So start to work on your relationships before it becomes too late! Here are five ways to become closer to your family:
1. Increase Your Love
You’ve probably heard the song lyrics, “A house is not a home, when there’s no one there to hold!”
What changes a house into a home is, in fact, love; true love. A true love is not selfish and does not take revenge if it does not receive love in return. True love gives without expectation.
“Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Love strengthens the connection, while anger tears it apart.
With love also comes sacrifice. In a close relationship there will definitely be a lot of arguments, disharmony and disagreements. You cannot expect family life to be always be “peace, love and harmony.” As the connection gets closer, frictions get more pronounced!
Think realistically. No one is perfect. No matter how sweet and wonderful a person is, there will always be shortcomings. Roses always come with thorns!
If you accept the fact that everyone is bound to make mistakes, it will be easier to accept and love your family as they are.
“In marriage you love a lot and forgive a lot. Love is the lubricant!” – Master Choa Kok Sui
2. Give Freedom
It doesn’t matter if you are a mother, a father, a husband or a wife, whatever position you have in a family, you need to give freedom to the other members of it.
No one likes to be ruled all the time. Freedom is one of the most basic needs of humanity and one of the greatest gifts in life. Growth is basically the result of having freedom, while too much control brings, anger, frustration and disappointment.
Work on your trust. With trust comes freedom.
“Friendship—my definition—is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.” – Stieg Larsson
With trust comes openness.
Over-possessiveness happens when we are afraid that by giving enough freedom, the person will leave or will commit a mistake. In fact, over-controlling often chases people away. It also obstructs the talents and passions of the other person, preventing them from blooming. If you are a parent, you need to give enough freedom to your children to allow them to follow their dreams.
Although giving freedom is not guaranteed to keep a partner or keep a child from committing a mistake, it is necessary to build a good foundation for a respectful family relationship.
3. Learn to Forgive
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” – Martin Luther King
“Inner Forgiveness is therapeutic. If you do not Forgive, you cannot be Internally Healed. Forgiving heals the soul!” – Master Choa Kok Sui
In every relationship, forgiveness is one of the most fundamental factors that affects the state and durability of a relationship. Forgiveness is not a matter of who is right or who is wrong, it is a matter of doing the right thing!
Although you are one family, there will always be differences in personalities and preferences between family members, and because of these differences, disagreements happen. Therefore, it’s not wise to react straight away, to jump to conclusions and start an argument. When disagreements happen, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and first try to look at the situation from his or her point of view. This gives you a better understanding and the ability to forgive more easily.
Then give time for the situation to calm down before you talk about your views and potential solutions to problems. Remember that in the midst of an emotional outburst or an argument, your explanation won’t work. Wait for the right time.
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.” – Bernard Meltzer
Forgiveness not only helps you improve the status of your relationship, but also keeps you from boiling away inside. In a relationship problems happen, and problems are a means of helping us get stronger and more compassionate. If you keep on thinking about the problems and unpleasant events of your life, you prevent yourself from having a better future. Forgive, forget and learn the lesson!
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
4. Look For Solutions
Problems are a part of life. They come and go.
Family life is not a battlefield. Do not focus on problems, instead focus on the solutions.
Although we as adults are all expected to be responsible for our actions, it still feels safer and more comfortable for some to put the blame on others. This is one of the major problems that can seriously affect a family as no one likes to be blamed all the time. After all, problems happen to make us grow and this comes about by learning from our mistakes.
Stop the blame game, be responsible for your actions and look for resolution. This is one of the fastest ways to bring you closer to your family.
5. Count Every Moment
One of the most clichéd problems in family life is the taking of loved ones for granted. As we always have our family around no matter how we act, we tend to neglect them sometimes. The minute we realize their value, it is often already too late.
Don’t fall into this trap!
“In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” – Bertrand Russell
In order to keep love and harmony active among our family, it is highly important to show that we care. Spending quality time with family members is one of the factors that can nourish and strengthen our family connections. Try to have fun on a regular basis. Go out together, talk, play, laugh and have fun.
Every moment matters! Make the best out of it before its too late!