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5 Toxic Habits You Should Break Now for a Better Life

5 Toxic Habits You Should Break Now for a Better Life

Much too often, we hold ourselves back from achieving the best version of ourselves. It can manifest in many ways, but it’s often toxic habits that hold us back from a better life. Sometimes, these habits don’t seem bad on the surface, but we often go overboard, turning what could be considered a positive quality into a toxic habit. Here are 5 toxic habits that you should break now for a better life.

1. Thirsting for approval.

Being liked is a worthy goal. We want people to like us and we make choices every day with this in mind. But too often we go too far and begin to thirst for approval. When you are a good person, you make informed and well-thought out choices, and you understand your personal limitations; being yourself will attract the kind of people you should be around.

Doing things just to get approval can leave you in terrible situations. You may be put in positions where you do things that are against your moral code or even worse, against the law. Whether it’s a boss or co-worker at work who is pushing you to cut corners or a relationship that is pushing you to do things outside your comfort level, thirsting for approval can be very toxic.

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It rears its head in many ways. Often times, you end up being “too nice” and getting taken advantage of by friends or family members. Rather than doing the things that benefit you, you are always trying to win approval. And rarely does it even work. I’ve met many people pleasers who are never truly happy. When they fail at winning approval, they try harder. When they win approval, it’s never enough.

It’s important to do things for others, but it’s vital to do things that make you happy. The best way to win approval is to be yourself. When you thirst for approval, your proverbial cup will run empty. When you do things that fill your cup, you’ll be satisfied and people will notice.

2.  Waiting for life to happen.

We’ve taken the old saying “good things come to those who wait” a step or ten too far. Being patient is important, no doubt. But at some point, patience becomes being lethargic and your life stops being your own. Find things you love and make them happen. Learn what you’re passionate about and do those things. Have fun. When you’re out living life, good things will happen. If you’re sitting on your couch hoping, it’s less likely that they will.

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Be an active participant in your life. The people you spend time with, the things you do, and the career you choose will play a major part in other aspects of your life coming together. Don’t wait on life to happen. When you’re living life to the fullest, you’ll find that good things come your way.

3. Competing & comparing.

Being driven is great. And external motivation can help drive you to become a better person. But too often, it becomes all about keeping up with the Jones’s. When you try to one-up and base your opinion of yourself on what someone else is doing, it becomes toxic. Stop worrying about what others have and start focusing on what you truly want. Buy the things that make you happy and skip the purchases that you don’t want or need. You’ll find you are much happier when you live your life the way you want, rather than comparing it to someone else.

4. Relying too much on others.

Trying to go at it alone can be difficult, if not impossible. We need others. We depend on our families, friends, co-workers, and even strangers on a daily basis. But it’s easy to rely too much on others and lose a piece of ourselves. It’s vital that you control your own destiny and you maintain a level of responsibility for your life. Take help when you need it, but understand that ultimately only you are responsible for your life and your decisions.

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5. Settling.

At some point in everyone’s life, they must make decision and stick to it. These decisions come daily and can be as simple as what to have for breakfast and as challenging as who to marry. On some level, everyone must compromise and understand their limitations.

When I was looking for my first job, I wanted to make a great wage, choose my hours, and work with people I liked. My expectations may have been out of whack with no experience, so I ended up with a great job that didn’t pay nearly as well. I didn’t settle, but I did compromise. I took a look at my options and chose one I felt good about. If none were good, I would have kept looking.

It’s important to remain flexible and truly understand your limitations. But never settle. Whether it’s for a job, a relationship, or just a random decision, it’s important to understand your options and choose one that you are happy with. Settling for a relationship because you don’t want to be lonely or a job that you hate because you need a paycheck is a toxic way to live your life. Be picky and understand you may have to compromise, but never settle.

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Featured photo credit: via flickr.com

More by this author

Kyle Robbins

Kyle is the founder of Branding Beard. He writes about communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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