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4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat

Everyone who’s ever had a cat knows they’re emotionally delicate creatures. Operating much differently than dogs, cats make humans work for their affection, but offer it back when they feel comfortable with their caretakers. While some cats may rather simply live their lives without much input from you, a large portion of them are simply waiting for you to show them that they are a part of your life. In other words, in order to receive affection, you need to put some out there. Some cats are naturally more affectionate than others, but all cat owners can work to improve the relationship with their feline by following a few simple steps,

1. Make yourself approachable.

Many of us are preoccupied with life a lot, and that may even be why you chose a cat as a companion‒we all know they’re relatively independent animals. Even so, a hectic lifestyle and a general unwelcoming attitude or atmosphere doesn’t give a cat a feeling of comfort. This will often lead to them not only acting up, but avoiding you.

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The best way to change this is to make yourself approachable. Maybe your cat has an affinity for a particular blanket or pillow, so put it in your lap and help them associate you with their comfortable spot. Always be calm and aim to reduce jerky movements or excited reactions while spending one-on-one bonding time with your companion.

2. Play, play, play.

Remember that cats are predators and there’s nothing they like to do more than hone their predatory skills through simulated predator/prey situations. While we refer to it as “play,” and they may very well enjoy it, it’s them acting out their basic instincts, and they’re sure to appreciate your help. Believe it or not, they’re usually well aware of the fact that it’s you holding the string going across the floor, and they know it’s you controlling the laser. They associate this activity with you, and they grow to both appreciate the attention and crave more of it. Most cats have a favorite toy, so anytime you pick it up and take it for a spin, they’re likely to take notice and want to join in.

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3. Pay attention to what they’re telling you.

Taking notice of them meowing when their bowl is empty is one thing, but cats are also masters of body language. They’ll tell you all you need to know about how they’re feeling with simple tail movements or body reactions. If your cat is rolling around on the floor and looking at you with friendly-sounding vocalizations, there’s a good chance they’re very amiable and welcoming. Exposing their stomach to you in any way is generally an indication that they feel comfortable.

The most important indicator is always the tail, however. Reading this cat language can be tricky at first, but telling the difference between when they’re in the mood for your affection and when they’re not is very important in maintaining their interest in a continued relationship with you. If someone always bugged you relentlessly when you weren’t in the mood, would you really be interested in approaching them later?

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Here are the most important tail tips:

A) If your cat’s tail is straight up and not bent, it’s likely to be feeling friendly, and may even welcome you by rubbing on your leg or hands.
B) If their tail is bent down and facing behind them a bit, they’re likely to be feeling defensive or aggressive.
C) If their tail is swinging around haphazardly, they’re likely annoyed or mad and would prefer to be left alone.
D) If just the tip of their tail is slowly bending back and forth, they’re likely curious or preoccupied and often interested in something specific.

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4. Never strike your friend.

Do you hit your friends when they displease you? Probably not. They probably wouldn’t react very happily to it, and neither do cats. Cats respond very poorly to physical harm, and unlike more forgiving animals such as dogs, they will often retaliate and/or become indefinitely fearful of you. Them viewing you as a source of pain is not the best way to to improve your relationship. There are other, much better options when it comes to disciplining your cat.

The first option is tried and true: squirting them with water. While it doesn’t work on every cat every time, letting a cat know that they’ll get sudden bursts of water when doing something naughty is a good way to teach them better habits.

The second option is loud noises. Clapping your hands or finding a word you can repeat loudly will often get the point across. “No” or “stop”, when used in a loud, aggressive tone will usually do the job for all but the most stubborn felines.

The last option is to simply set up harmless traps in the areas you’d prefer your cats not go. Putting tape or plastic on a counter, for instance, will eventually teach them to associate that spot with those annoyances. There are a ton of other easy traps like this to set up to enforce better behavior and they usually require minimal inconveniences on your end.

More by this author

Billy Givens

Freelance Writer

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat 5 Relationships You Didn’t Realize Were So Important

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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