Advertising
Advertising

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat

Everyone who’s ever had a cat knows they’re emotionally delicate creatures. Operating much differently than dogs, cats make humans work for their affection, but offer it back when they feel comfortable with their caretakers. While some cats may rather simply live their lives without much input from you, a large portion of them are simply waiting for you to show them that they are a part of your life. In other words, in order to receive affection, you need to put some out there. Some cats are naturally more affectionate than others, but all cat owners can work to improve the relationship with their feline by following a few simple steps,

1. Make yourself approachable.

Many of us are preoccupied with life a lot, and that may even be why you chose a cat as a companion‒we all know they’re relatively independent animals. Even so, a hectic lifestyle and a general unwelcoming attitude or atmosphere doesn’t give a cat a feeling of comfort. This will often lead to them not only acting up, but avoiding you.

Advertising

The best way to change this is to make yourself approachable. Maybe your cat has an affinity for a particular blanket or pillow, so put it in your lap and help them associate you with their comfortable spot. Always be calm and aim to reduce jerky movements or excited reactions while spending one-on-one bonding time with your companion.

2. Play, play, play.

Remember that cats are predators and there’s nothing they like to do more than hone their predatory skills through simulated predator/prey situations. While we refer to it as “play,” and they may very well enjoy it, it’s them acting out their basic instincts, and they’re sure to appreciate your help. Believe it or not, they’re usually well aware of the fact that it’s you holding the string going across the floor, and they know it’s you controlling the laser. They associate this activity with you, and they grow to both appreciate the attention and crave more of it. Most cats have a favorite toy, so anytime you pick it up and take it for a spin, they’re likely to take notice and want to join in.

Advertising

3. Pay attention to what they’re telling you.

Taking notice of them meowing when their bowl is empty is one thing, but cats are also masters of body language. They’ll tell you all you need to know about how they’re feeling with simple tail movements or body reactions. If your cat is rolling around on the floor and looking at you with friendly-sounding vocalizations, there’s a good chance they’re very amiable and welcoming. Exposing their stomach to you in any way is generally an indication that they feel comfortable.

The most important indicator is always the tail, however. Reading this cat language can be tricky at first, but telling the difference between when they’re in the mood for your affection and when they’re not is very important in maintaining their interest in a continued relationship with you. If someone always bugged you relentlessly when you weren’t in the mood, would you really be interested in approaching them later?

Advertising

Here are the most important tail tips:

A) If your cat’s tail is straight up and not bent, it’s likely to be feeling friendly, and may even welcome you by rubbing on your leg or hands.
B) If their tail is bent down and facing behind them a bit, they’re likely to be feeling defensive or aggressive.
C) If their tail is swinging around haphazardly, they’re likely annoyed or mad and would prefer to be left alone.
D) If just the tip of their tail is slowly bending back and forth, they’re likely curious or preoccupied and often interested in something specific.

Advertising

4. Never strike your friend.

Do you hit your friends when they displease you? Probably not. They probably wouldn’t react very happily to it, and neither do cats. Cats respond very poorly to physical harm, and unlike more forgiving animals such as dogs, they will often retaliate and/or become indefinitely fearful of you. Them viewing you as a source of pain is not the best way to to improve your relationship. There are other, much better options when it comes to disciplining your cat.

The first option is tried and true: squirting them with water. While it doesn’t work on every cat every time, letting a cat know that they’ll get sudden bursts of water when doing something naughty is a good way to teach them better habits.

The second option is loud noises. Clapping your hands or finding a word you can repeat loudly will often get the point across. “No” or “stop”, when used in a loud, aggressive tone will usually do the job for all but the most stubborn felines.

The last option is to simply set up harmless traps in the areas you’d prefer your cats not go. Putting tape or plastic on a counter, for instance, will eventually teach them to associate that spot with those annoyances. There are a ton of other easy traps like this to set up to enforce better behavior and they usually require minimal inconveniences on your end.

More by this author

Billy Givens

Freelance Writer

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat 5 Relationships You Didn’t Realize Were So Important

Trending in Communication

1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 I Hate My Wife – Why a Husband Would Resent His Spouse 3 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 4 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 5 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

Advertising

It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

Advertising

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Advertising

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

Advertising

6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Read Next