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3 Surefire Ways to Follow Through on Your Goals

3 Surefire Ways to Follow Through on Your Goals

We all have big goals we’d like to achieve that we know will enhance our experience and enjoyment of life. Whether you want to learn another language, reach your physical peak, or fulfill your lifetime dream of becoming a diving instructor, goals will help you get there.

Deciding on a goal is easy. Following through, on the other hand, is not. Here are three surefire ways you can give yourself a helping hand and follow through on your goals.

1. Go Public

Very few things are quite as motivating as public accountability. Once we’ve announced to friends, family, co-workers, and the general public that we’re working towards a certain goal, we’re far more likely to actually complete that goal.

Why? Public accountability works for two main reasons.

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First of all, we don’t want to look bad. We care what our nearest and dearest think of us and we don’t want to seem flaky. If we publicly announce a goal and don’t complete it, we have to face up to everyone who asks “Hey, how did that marathon go last summer?” As much as we might be able to justify prioritising our long lie-ins over long runs to ourselves, trying to explain that to someone else is going to be pretty embarrassing.

The second reason that public accountability works is more positive. Just as we know we’re going to have to ‘fess up if we don’t complete our goal, we also know that we’ll have a lot of support from people around us when we do complete our goal. This in itself can help motivate us to push through the more challenging times.

So if you’re working towards a goal and want a simple yet effective way of sticking to it, get on Facebook, send a group email, text everyone on your contacts list, and watch your motivation levels soar.

2. Set milestones

One of the biggest barriers that stands between you and your goals is becoming overwhelmed. Goals always contain a series of action steps, which have varying degrees of difficulty. When we look at the goal as a whole, we might feel discouraged by how far we are from the completion point.

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Breaking the goal down into several milestones, however, helps keep us motivated. Instead of focusing on how far we have to go until we complete the big goal, we can shift our focus to the smaller, more manageable milestones.

Not only do milestones give us cause for celebration on the way to completing our goal, they also help us stay on track with completing our big goal by a certain date. Setting a deadline is one of the key hallmarks of achievable goals: if you don’t have a deadline, other commitments *will* get in the way.

3. Incentivise success

You can incentivise yourself to complete your goal in two ways:

  • Rewarding completion
  • Penalising non-completion

In practice, rewarding completion of a goal or milestone might look like treating yourself to something when you reach that particular target. At the same time, you can commit to a certain penalty, such as donating $100 to charity, if you don’t complete a certain milestone or goal.

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These incentives are most effective when you agree to the details in advance. If you wait until you either reach or don’t reach your milestone or goal to decide on the specifics, this method won’t be as much help.

We are masters at self-justification, so if we don’t agree to rewarding ourselves in a certain way at a certain time when we reach a certain goal, then we’re more likely to cheat, or forgo the reward altogether (and rewards are important). Equally, if we don’t complete our milestone or goal and haven’t agreed a penalty in advance, it’s going to be a lot easier for us to reason our way out of sticking to the penalty.

Decide which rewards and penalties you’re going to commit to in advance, and you’ll be far more likely to stick to them.

Which method is right for me?

Any one of these three methods will help you reach goals and targets. You know yourself better than anyone so you’re in the best position to decide which of the methods above will be most helpful to you individually.

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If you’re really serious about achieving your big goals, however, you’ll give yourself the best chance of getting there by implementing all three at once.

What are your surefire ways for following through on your goals?

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Hannah Braime

Hannah is a coach who believes the world is a richer place when we have the courage to be fully self-expressed.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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