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3 Steps to Take Back Your Power!

3 Steps to Take Back Your Power!

Have you ever felt powerless or immobilized? Have you ever felt that life kicked out your teeth?

Don’t despair. You are not alone. The universal answer to that question is YES and by universal I mean that everyone answering that question will say yes. The reason for this is simple. When life throws one of her curveballs you want to be with helmet and all.

What do you need in order to prepare for the curveballs? Does this mean I should hide away in my closet just in case I get kicked?

Let us discuss three ways you can use to take back your power and still enjoy a happy fulfilled life.

1. Let go

Almost every self-help guru has talked about letting go. You can let go in different scenarios. For example you can let go of an abusive relationship or aThe way of letting go that I am talking about is more brutal. This letting go will dump you in all sorts of personal conflict. However, if you can let go successfully it will mean that you feel truly free.

How can you achieve being free and springboard you to take back you’re power?

You can do this by letting go of your past. Humans tend to worry a lot about their past. What if I decided to take that job? What if I did not sell that house? What if I just asked that girl’s number? What if I made peace with my father before he died?

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These and other questions plague us day and night. The truth is that we have absolutely no control over our past actions and decisions.

So how do I let go of my past? Simply by deciding that from today onwards I am not bound by the decisions I made in the past. It can be difficult because our minds enjoy reflecting on the past and making judgements. Realize that your mind exist to serve you. Not the other way around. So make that decision now.

What helped some people let go of the past is to have a little ceremony to signify the act of letting go. List down some of the things in your past that stole your power. Make a fire. Throw the paper in the fire and see how the fire burns it into oblivion. You can also say out loud as the paper is burning: “today I am letting go of my past and it will no longer have a hold on me!” truly believe what you are saying. Say it straight from the heart. Say it with conviction. You can also create your own ceremony.

After making the decision to let go it is important to be aware of thoughts and feelings as it manifests in your mind. Don’t judge the thought and do not judge yourself. Just be aware of it and decide that you will not enter into any engagements with this thought. To create this new habit you will need repetition and time. Do it anyway because it will give you a feeling of freedom and it will help you to take your power back.

2. Create a compelling future

Now that you are free from your past it is time to create a compelling future. According to the dictionary the word compelling means:” evoke interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way“.

You need to create a future that you will excite you.

How do we create this irresistible future?

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First, we need to know what gets us excited. What makes our blood curl? So take some time now and write a couple of things down that really gets you going and that turns you on. Example: being able to help and influence young people.

Then ask the question: “What opportunities exist that I can do more of these things?”

Example: Give career speeches at local schools.

The next thing is to decide what it is that you must do to create more opportunities to do the thing that makes you excited.

Example: I need more time. I need to become self-employed.

Now write in full what a day will be like doing the thing that excites you. Take time and really flesh it out. What sights do you see? What smells do you hear? What textures can you feel under your fingertips? Got it?

Good. Now you need to put actions in place. What actions can I put into place in order to reach my compelling future? Example: Buy that book about how to become an entrepreneur. Remember that your actions should be specific, measurable, realistic and time-bound.

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Work continuously on this action plan and feel the excitement burning day by day.

3. How do you see yourself?

Another method to stand up and demand more power is to have a look at how you see yourself.

This can be a touchy subject. We are usually very quick to judge other people. I do it too, however it is awkward to turn those laser eyes on ourselves. In many cases the reason we feel powerless is because we have low self-esteem. How can we rebuild our self-esteem?

First, we need to take stock. Ask the following questions and list the answers. Be sure to respond as honestly and truthfully as possible.

  • What do like about me? This can also be physical things. Example: I am crazy about my legs.
  • What do others like about me? Here you might need to ask your friends or colleagues.
  • What is one thing that I think will make my self-esteem grow? Example: I need to stand up for myself.

 

Then pick someone that you think have good self-esteem (example: Oprah, or anyone that you can think of) and ask the following questions:

  • What in my mind constitutes a person with BIG self-esteem?
  • Is it because they share their opinions without fear?
  • What qualities can I see that makes me think this person has a lot of self-esteem?
  • Make a list of those qualities.

Take a look at the list you created about yourself. What areas do you lack in? What are the qualities that will grow your self-esteem? You now have a couple of qualities that you have identified as problem areas. Work on those problem areas by tackling one area at a time. Also share this with your friends. They will be able to tell you if it is working or not.

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Having self-esteem does not mean that you have the right to be vain and self-centered. Self-esteem will focus you on your path and you will be able to be yourself in every sense of the word.  If you consistently build your self-esteem it will ensure that you take your power back.

 

We should never be fearful of life and hide away in the closet.

You now have some tools to help you take your power back. The onus is on you. The only thing that will hold you back is if you don’t do something to change your situation.

You need to take steps to apply this in your life. Start today. Don’t let anything stop you.

 

Take action and reclaim your power!

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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