Have you ever felt powerless or immobilized? Have you ever felt that life kicked out your teeth?
Don’t despair. You are not alone. The universal answer to that question is YES and by universal I mean that everyone answering that question will say yes. The reason for this is simple. When life throws one of her curveballs you want to be with helmet and all.
What do you need in order to prepare for the curveballs? Does this mean I should hide away in my closet just in case I get kicked?
Let us discuss three ways you can use to take back your power and still enjoy a happy fulfilled life.
1. Let go
Almost every self-help guru has talked about letting go. You can let go in different scenarios. For example you can let go of an abusive relationship or aThe way of letting go that I am talking about is more brutal. This letting go will dump you in all sorts of personal conflict. However, if you can let go successfully it will mean that you feel truly free.
How can you achieve being free and springboard you to take back you’re power?
You can do this by letting go of your past. Humans tend to worry a lot about their past. What if I decided to take that job? What if I did not sell that house? What if I just asked that girl’s number? What if I made peace with my father before he died?
These and other questions plague us day and night. The truth is that we have absolutely no control over our past actions and decisions.
So how do I let go of my past? Simply by deciding that from today onwards I am not bound by the decisions I made in the past. It can be difficult because our minds enjoy reflecting on the past and making judgements. Realize that your mind exist to serve you. Not the other way around. So make that decision now.
What helped some people let go of the past is to have a little ceremony to signify the act of letting go. List down some of the things in your past that stole your power. Make a fire. Throw the paper in the fire and see how the fire burns it into oblivion. You can also say out loud as the paper is burning: “today I am letting go of my past and it will no longer have a hold on me!” truly believe what you are saying. Say it straight from the heart. Say it with conviction. You can also create your own ceremony.
After making the decision to let go it is important to be aware of thoughts and feelings as it manifests in your mind. Don’t judge the thought and do not judge yourself. Just be aware of it and decide that you will not enter into any engagements with this thought. To create this new habit you will need repetition and time. Do it anyway because it will give you a feeling of freedom and it will help you to take your power back.
2. Create a compelling future
Now that you are free from your past it is time to create a compelling future. According to the dictionary the word compelling means:” evoke interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way“.
You need to create a future that you will excite you.
How do we create this irresistible future?
First, we need to know what gets us excited. What makes our blood curl? So take some time now and write a couple of things down that really gets you going and that turns you on. Example: being able to help and influence young people.
Then ask the question: “What opportunities exist that I can do more of these things?”
Example: Give career speeches at local schools.
The next thing is to decide what it is that you must do to create more opportunities to do the thing that makes you excited.
Example: I need more time. I need to become self-employed.
Now write in full what a day will be like doing the thing that excites you. Take time and really flesh it out. What sights do you see? What smells do you hear? What textures can you feel under your fingertips? Got it?
Good. Now you need to put actions in place. What actions can I put into place in order to reach my compelling future? Example: Buy that book about how to become an entrepreneur. Remember that your actions should be specific, measurable, realistic and time-bound.
Work continuously on this action plan and feel the excitement burning day by day.
3. How do you see yourself?
Another method to stand up and demand more power is to have a look at how you see yourself.
This can be a touchy subject. We are usually very quick to judge other people. I do it too, however it is awkward to turn those laser eyes on ourselves. In many cases the reason we feel powerless is because we have low self-esteem. How can we rebuild our self-esteem?
First, we need to take stock. Ask the following questions and list the answers. Be sure to respond as honestly and truthfully as possible.
- What do like about me? This can also be physical things. Example: I am crazy about my legs.
- What do others like about me? Here you might need to ask your friends or colleagues.
- What is one thing that I think will make my self-esteem grow? Example: I need to stand up for myself.
Then pick someone that you think have good self-esteem (example: Oprah, or anyone that you can think of) and ask the following questions:
- What in my mind constitutes a person with BIG self-esteem?
- Is it because they share their opinions without fear?
- What qualities can I see that makes me think this person has a lot of self-esteem?
- Make a list of those qualities.
Take a look at the list you created about yourself. What areas do you lack in? What are the qualities that will grow your self-esteem? You now have a couple of qualities that you have identified as problem areas. Work on those problem areas by tackling one area at a time. Also share this with your friends. They will be able to tell you if it is working or not.
Having self-esteem does not mean that you have the right to be vain and self-centered. Self-esteem will focus you on your path and you will be able to be yourself in every sense of the word. If you consistently build your self-esteem it will ensure that you take your power back.
We should never be fearful of life and hide away in the closet.
You now have some tools to help you take your power back. The onus is on you. The only thing that will hold you back is if you don’t do something to change your situation.
You need to take steps to apply this in your life. Start today. Don’t let anything stop you.
Take action and reclaim your power!