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3 Good Reasons Why You Should Stop Complaining

3 Good Reasons Why You Should Stop Complaining

When living out our daily lives, it’s often easy to look around and blame the world for our problems. Common complaints include:

  • The poor economy is making me unable to live comfortably.
  • My relationship with my spouse is putting a strain on my work performance.
  • I’m constantly treated poorly by friends and family.

While it’s true that there are things in the outside world we can’t control, the biggest difference between two people is simply their reaction towards it. Having understood this for a while, I’ve often asked the question, “How?”

How is it possible to change your reaction to a particular event or situation?

While I always searched for tips to figure out how to make my life easier, what I observed in my own character was that things became far easier once I understood why we should stop complaining and change our reaction towards things. Because once I truly understood the benefits of this, my motivation to change increased.

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So why should you stop complaining? Here are three reasons that I believe—if you truly understand them—will help you move forward and live a less stressful life:

1. The world owes you nothing

It really is true! The world really does have nothing to do with you or anyone else on this planet. There are no rules beyond societal expectations, and it’s up to you to make something of the chaos that is the natural order. The planet will continue to exist without you on it, which—as depressing as it sounds—should also provide you with excitement and a first glimpse of the reality of what your life should truly be about.

Through this, questions start to emerge such as: “If the world is irrelevant, who’s in charge of my life?” And, “What happens to my life from this point forward?”

You suddenly start to realize that while we were nurtured and looked after as kids, this really isn’t the case once we’re an adult. The world doesn’t provide us with the same blanket of comfort as our carers once did, which only means one thing: It’s up to us to provide that blanket for ourselves and no one else. Which brings me on to the second reason…

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2. You are in charge of your own life

If you look back at your own life, you’ll begin to realize that everything you have ever done up to the present moment was all a result of the decisions you’ve made. Sure there may have been people around you who have convinced you to do some of the things you may have done. But it all ultimately depends on your decisions and no one elses: So who’s really to blame?

You really do have the control. Suddenly, there is no one else to blame but yourself.

You begin to see that amongst everything that’s happening around you, what you have is a blank canvas. Suddenly, your hopes and dreams aren’t dreams at all but are within the realm of possibility.

What are your dreams? What are your hopes and goals for the future? Do you have a plan? Start to think about what it might be and remind yourself daily that it’s all up to you to make things happen.

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3. You can’t be a leader if you behave like a victim

Would you rather live a life with rules, or lead a life that is governed by you? I’m certain the answer is simple.

It’s really easy to put blame on things that are external to you, as it avoids personal responsibility and allows you to refuse the possibility that you may have things that can be changed. So what can you change?

Being a leader in your life takes courage and requires the willingness to face your fears, experience failure, and take complete personal responsibility of everything that happens to you. It will break away your ego yet build a new one: one of strength of character, humility, and humbleness.

I challenge you to turn the mirror on yourself and to ask yourself the following question:

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“How and what can I now do to turn my life around?”

You have no one else but you to make it happen.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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