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25 Things You Must Know To Get Through Your 20s

25 Things You Must Know To Get Through Your 20s

Your 20s. For some, it’s the best time of your life (or at least that’s what you’ll remember when you look back in your 40s). For others, it can be a decade of heartache and hard times. No matter the experience, your 20s are always a time of adventure and change. Here are 25 things you must know to get through your 20s.

1. Friends should make you better.

Friends are supposed to make you feel good about yourself. If the people you’re hanging out with don’t, they aren’t your friends. Find people who make you a better person and spend time with them.

2. Now is the time to travel.

Money may be tight, but your 20s are the perfect time to explore the world. Don’t wait. You never know where life will take you, so do the thing you want as soon as you can.

3. You have time to plan. Enjoy now.

You don’t have to plan every aspect of your life. Live in the moment and enjoy the ride.

4. You are who you are, not what you want.

Never let anything or anyone confuse you for what you want. Don’t let your job, career, or ambition define who you become.

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5. Relationships should make you a better person.

Most people will find love and experience heartbreak. Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t make you a better person.

6. Reading is actually fun.

When there’s not a book report attached, reading is actually fun. Don’t forget to re-read those classics; age can bring quite a bit of perspective.

7. If work sucks, you’re doing it wrong.

You don’t have to hate your job. Plenty of people love what they do. Don’t settle for a job you hate.

8. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that counts.

You will change and that will make people mad. Don’t worry about what others think of you.

9. Keeping a journal isn’t just for teens.

Keeping a journal of your adventures can help you grow as a person, and help you ensure you don’t make the same mistakes in the future.

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10. You should be your number one priority.

Your 20s are a time for discovery. Let go of anything or anyone that has no purpose or positive placement in your life.

11. People change. You will too.

You will find that you may not have that same connection to your childhood friends and that you’ve outgrown many of your old habits. Embrace the change and continue to evolve.

12. Reconnect.

While you may outgrow some friends, don’t hesitate to reconnect with old friends who you miss and reconnect with family that you’ve grown apart. You may find that the petty issues that fractured a relationship heal with time.

13. You won’t party forever.

Have fun, but just know that your priorities will change. Don’t do anything stupid that hurts your future!

14. Your parents aren’t as uncool as they seem.

The teenage years can be brutal on the parent/child relationship. Take time to get to know your parents again. You may just find that they are a lot more fun than you remember.

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15. Don’t fall too fast.

Whether it’s love, career, or even a hobby, the 20s are a very passionate time of your life. Don’t fall too fast and hurt your chances for happiness in the future.

16. Work hard & grow a network.

Work hard. Get to know your co-workers. Spend time with other people who do your job. One day you, or they, will be the boss. Make sure you laid strong groundwork and don’t burn bridges.

17. Friends aren’t always forever.

Know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.

18. You’re only young once.

Have fun.

19. Babies are hard work.

Make sure you’re ready.

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20. Owning a house is expensive.

The costs don’t stop at a mortgage. Homeownership is a great option, just know what you’re getting into.

21. Retirement will be more fun if you’re prepared.

It’s easy to spend the money you should be saving, but learn about compounding interest and save as much as you can

22. Responsibility is like fine wine.

The older you get, the more expensive the cost.

23. Marriage is forever.

Even if it doesn’t work out. Don’t go into it lightly.

24. A pet solves lots of issues.

Sometimes you just want something to love. A dog is much less expensive than a baby.

25. Love.

Put love in everything you do. You’re only young once, so enjoy it!

Featured photo credit: Chassepierre 2013 – looking at a performance/Alexandre Dulaunoy via flickr.com

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Kyle Robbins

Founder, BrandingBeard.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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