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22 Things That Confident Women Don’t Do

22 Things That Confident Women Don’t Do

When you think of the most confident woman you know, like Malala Yousafzai, Oprah Winfrey, or even a Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift, what are these ladies have in common that allow them to approach life so fearlessly? They carry themselves with an air of success, grace, and determination. The energy change when they entered a room.They are memorable.

See how many of this list of pitfalls you avoid and how you measure up as a confident woman.

1. They don’t gossip.

Confident women don’t talk about other women, they talk about their dreams, plans and aspirations.

2. They don’t doubt themselves

You won’t hear them second-guess their decisions. Hesitation isn’t part of their process. They know what they are doing and why they are doing it at all time. They think their decisions through thoroughly but once they have decided, they have decided.

3. They don’t follow trends

Confident women are trend setters. They spend no time thinking about what is “in” and instead they make choices based on what they like. They are finely attuned to their own needs and preferences. And they are not afraid to ask for what they want.

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4. They never suppress feelings

When something is on their mind, you will know it. They tell it like it is. With confidence comes the ability to speak your mind in a way that others hear you.

5. They never compromise self-care

Confident women know that they need to take care of themselves. They value a healthy work/life balance and they take time to eat right, sleep well and to spend an occasional moment being pampered just because it feels good.

6. They never listen blindly

Confident women like to gather their own evidence and come to their own conclusion. They think outside-the-box, because if they don’t do their own fact-finding, they know they might not see the big picture.

7. They don’t try to please people

When a woman is self-assured, she does not need external approval. This allows them to be their true-selves and trust that people who like her, like her for who she truly is. She leads from her heart and has the inner-strength to handle opposition.

8. They don’t waste time on worrying.

Time is valuable so spending time on “what-if”, “should-have” or “could-have-been” is not useful to the confident woman. She knows that worry is like paying interest on a loan before you have been approved.

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9. They don’t have regret

They learn from the past and they recognize where they have made poor choices but there’s no regret. Being able to learn from the past rather than regret it oozes confident.

10. They aren’t afraid to get messy

Sure they know the value of a good first impression and they like to look good, but they don’t care if they are caught in a rainstorm or if they get sandy feet while walking on the beach. They find joy in the experience whether that is getting stuck in a downpour or falling in the pool.

11. They don’t see failures as defeats

In fact, they are the ones who can tell you how many times Henry Ford went bankrupt before he became successful (three!). They recognize that there are always bumps in the road on the path to success. The ease with which they recover allows them to keep moving forward in their determined fashion.

12. They don’t cave to peer pressure

This is largely due to the fact that they don’t feel peer pressure. Pressure is reserved for those who stress about what others think. And the confident woman just doesn’t.

13. They don’t make unconscious choices

Confident women are in touch with their purpose and they use this to intentionally guide their decisions. This dauntless way of living intentionally is part of what draws others to them.

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14. They don’t ignore their instincts

Even when all the facts seem to point one way, if their gut says the other, that is the way they go. They know that instinct is our strongest ally in decision making so they listen to it religiously.

15. They don’t glorify busy

Productive is different than busy. They get the job done, they just don’t feel overwhelmed as they are doing it.

16. They don’t take things personally

They understand that your opinion is about you, not about them. While they value your input, if you don’t agree with their choices, they still make them. And they still like you.

17. They don’t find silence uncomfortable

In fact, silence recharges them. They enjoy alone time where they can explore personal growth and take time to reenergize.

18. They don’t aspire to be popular

They value authenticity in others and only want friends whom they share a deep connection. They like challenging conversations and this doesn’t lead to popularity but they don’t care.

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19. They don’t need personal trainers

Or alarm clocks for that mater. They motivate themselves and are excited to get the jump on their day – no snooze buttons for them.

20. They don’t want fans they want supporters

They probably have 900 Facebook friends and a ton of followers on Instagram but what they value is the content of their newsfeed, not the numbers. Quality over quantity every time.

21. They don’t equate who they are with what they have

They know that stuff doesn’t define them so their choices in clothing and cars are based on what they like not on how they want to be perceived.

22. They don’t deny themselves

They realize that there is balance on everything. They might be on a health kick but they will gladly treat themselves to an occasional ice-cream. They like to get to the gym, but they know the world won’t end if they skip a work out.

Confident women don’t neeed anyone to like them. Which is probably why everyone does!

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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