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22 Things That Confident Women Don’t Do

22 Things That Confident Women Don’t Do

When you think of the most confident woman you know, like Malala Yousafzai, Oprah Winfrey, or even a Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift, what are these ladies have in common that allow them to approach life so fearlessly? They carry themselves with an air of success, grace, and determination. The energy change when they entered a room.They are memorable.

See how many of this list of pitfalls you avoid and how you measure up as a confident woman.

1. They don’t gossip.

Confident women don’t talk about other women, they talk about their dreams, plans and aspirations.

2. They don’t doubt themselves

You won’t hear them second-guess their decisions. Hesitation isn’t part of their process. They know what they are doing and why they are doing it at all time. They think their decisions through thoroughly but once they have decided, they have decided.

3. They don’t follow trends

Confident women are trend setters. They spend no time thinking about what is “in” and instead they make choices based on what they like. They are finely attuned to their own needs and preferences. And they are not afraid to ask for what they want.

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4. They never suppress feelings

When something is on their mind, you will know it. They tell it like it is. With confidence comes the ability to speak your mind in a way that others hear you.

5. They never compromise self-care

Confident women know that they need to take care of themselves. They value a healthy work/life balance and they take time to eat right, sleep well and to spend an occasional moment being pampered just because it feels good.

6. They never listen blindly

Confident women like to gather their own evidence and come to their own conclusion. They think outside-the-box, because if they don’t do their own fact-finding, they know they might not see the big picture.

7. They don’t try to please people

When a woman is self-assured, she does not need external approval. This allows them to be their true-selves and trust that people who like her, like her for who she truly is. She leads from her heart and has the inner-strength to handle opposition.

8. They don’t waste time on worrying.

Time is valuable so spending time on “what-if”, “should-have” or “could-have-been” is not useful to the confident woman. She knows that worry is like paying interest on a loan before you have been approved.

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9. They don’t have regret

They learn from the past and they recognize where they have made poor choices but there’s no regret. Being able to learn from the past rather than regret it oozes confident.

10. They aren’t afraid to get messy

Sure they know the value of a good first impression and they like to look good, but they don’t care if they are caught in a rainstorm or if they get sandy feet while walking on the beach. They find joy in the experience whether that is getting stuck in a downpour or falling in the pool.

11. They don’t see failures as defeats

In fact, they are the ones who can tell you how many times Henry Ford went bankrupt before he became successful (three!). They recognize that there are always bumps in the road on the path to success. The ease with which they recover allows them to keep moving forward in their determined fashion.

12. They don’t cave to peer pressure

This is largely due to the fact that they don’t feel peer pressure. Pressure is reserved for those who stress about what others think. And the confident woman just doesn’t.

13. They don’t make unconscious choices

Confident women are in touch with their purpose and they use this to intentionally guide their decisions. This dauntless way of living intentionally is part of what draws others to them.

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14. They don’t ignore their instincts

Even when all the facts seem to point one way, if their gut says the other, that is the way they go. They know that instinct is our strongest ally in decision making so they listen to it religiously.

15. They don’t glorify busy

Productive is different than busy. They get the job done, they just don’t feel overwhelmed as they are doing it.

16. They don’t take things personally

They understand that your opinion is about you, not about them. While they value your input, if you don’t agree with their choices, they still make them. And they still like you.

17. They don’t find silence uncomfortable

In fact, silence recharges them. They enjoy alone time where they can explore personal growth and take time to reenergize.

18. They don’t aspire to be popular

They value authenticity in others and only want friends whom they share a deep connection. They like challenging conversations and this doesn’t lead to popularity but they don’t care.

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19. They don’t need personal trainers

Or alarm clocks for that mater. They motivate themselves and are excited to get the jump on their day – no snooze buttons for them.

20. They don’t want fans they want supporters

They probably have 900 Facebook friends and a ton of followers on Instagram but what they value is the content of their newsfeed, not the numbers. Quality over quantity every time.

21. They don’t equate who they are with what they have

They know that stuff doesn’t define them so their choices in clothing and cars are based on what they like not on how they want to be perceived.

22. They don’t deny themselves

They realize that there is balance on everything. They might be on a health kick but they will gladly treat themselves to an occasional ice-cream. They like to get to the gym, but they know the world won’t end if they skip a work out.

Confident women don’t neeed anyone to like them. Which is probably why everyone does!

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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