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20 Ways To Recognize A Good Partner

20 Ways To Recognize A Good Partner

1) They ignore past mistakes

A good partner puts the past in perspective and doesn’t constantly bring up reminders from the past that serve no valuable purpose in the present. Such as something their partner did months or years earlier. Move on!

2) They don’t compare

The partner realizes that each person they date has strengths and weaknesses and refrains from comparing their current partner to their exes – especially unfavorably. Just because an ex was unfaithful does not mean that another partner will be so too.

3) They understand the idea of ‘give and take’

The partner is aware that all relationships need both partners to put in effort. It’s all about balance, about the give and take. If one person does all the taking, the imbalance will lead to problems. The person doing all the giving will end up resentful.

4) They know the importance of time alone

A good partner understands when they need space and a time out. A healthy relationship involves having interests outside the relationship, and spending too much time together can lead to a feeling of suffocation. Again, it’s all about balance.

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5) They prioritize communication

The partner places communication as a high priority. Many if not most issues can be worked out if you have the ability to communicate with one another. Being able to talk openly and knowing you will be heard and not ignored or dismissed is vital for the longevity of a relationship.

6) They are straightforward and/or uncomplicated

A good partner doesn’t engage in game playing. They live with integrity and speak up about problems instead of engaging in underhanded tactics such as passive aggressive behavior or withdrawing affection.

7) They are ‘tuned in’

The partner knows their significant other’s ‘love language,’ from acts of service to affection to spending quality time together to verbal expressions to gifts.

8) They are light hearted

A good partner has a good sense of humor, and you can exchange jokes with them and make each other laugh.

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9) They are reasonable

The partner has realistic expectations of their significant other. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. A good partner doesn’t have double standards whereby one set of rules applies to them and a different set of rules applies to everyone else.

10) They are self-aware

A good partner understands when they are projecting. Often, we expect others to show strengths that we wish we had. When they don’t, we feel disappointed. Learn to develop these skills in yourself and use your relationship as a way forward to enlightenment and personal growth.

11) They are optimistic

The partner has positive expectations; they expect the relationship to be good and to last and don’t dwell on negatives. Focusing on the bad parts can lead to self fulfilling prophecies.

12) They take responsibility for themselves

A good partner doesn’t expect their significant other to be the only source of happiness in their life. They  realize that we are all responsible for our own happiness. A partner is a wonderful bonus but not a necessity in life.

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13) They are not emotionally abusive, manipulative or controlling

A good partner treats their significant other with respect by not criticizing them relentlessly, embarrassing them in front of others or trying to control them.

14) They are generous with their time and/or resources

The partner shows empathy and works with you as a team. It’s not all about them, just like it’s not all about you. You work together, and they understand the concept of strength in numbers and are happy to offer support.

15) They are dependable

A good partner is reliable and responsible, always there for you in a crisis if thy are able to.

16) They are supportive

A good partner encourages you to be the best you can be. They do not feel threatened by your success and they naturally bring out the best in you.

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17) They put consistent effort into the relationship

A caring, good partner realizes that relationships take work and don’t chug along for ever without putting any effort in. The honeymoon phase is really just that, a phase!

18) They are honest and trustworthy

The partner is trustworthy, say what they mean and would never cheat on you. If they did meet someone else, they would end the relationship rather than deceive you and hurt you by leading you on.

19) They are able to say “sorry”

A good partner is self aware enough to know when they are in the wrong and have no problem with apologizing.

20) They are your best friend

A good partner offers a wonderful friendship. Friendship can hold a relationship together when the going gets tough. If you are friends, the other problems can always be worked out, since friendship provides a solid foundation for a happy healthy relationship.

Of course, we are all human and can’t be good partners 100% of the time. A good partner, however, will possess most of the qualities listed above and will generally be someone who is happy with who they are and how they live their lives. Once self-acceptance established, there is always more to give to others.

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Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist/CBT therapist who believes getting through life is easier with a robust sense of humour.

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Last Updated on September 28, 2020

How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips

How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips

The brain is a tangled web of information. We don’t remember single facts, but instead we interlink everything by association. Anytime we experience a new event, our brains tie the sights, smells, sounds and our own impressions together into a new relationship.

Our brain remembers things by repetition, association, visual imagery, and all five senses. By knowing a bit about how the brain works, we can become better learners, absorbing new information faster than ever.

Here are some study tips to help get you started:

1. Use Flashcards

Our brains create engrained memories through repetition. The more times we hear, see, or repeat something to ourselves, the more likely we are to remember it.

Flashcards can help you learn new subjects quickly and efficiently. Flashcards allow you to study anywhere at any time. Their portable nature lends them to quick study sessions on the bus, in traffic, at lunch, or in the doctor’s office. You can always whip out your flashcards for a quick 2 to 3 minute study session.

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To create effective flashcards, you need to put one point on each flashcard. Don’t load up the entire card with information. That’s just overload. Instead, you should dedicate one concept to each card.

One of the best ways to make flashcards is to put 1 question on the front and one answer on the back. This way, you can repeatedly quiz yourself into you have mastered any topic of your choice.

Commit to reading through your flash cards at least 3 times a day and you will be amazed at how quickly you pick up new information.

As Tony Robbins says,

“Repetition is the mother of skill”.

2. Create the Right Environment

Often times, where you study can be just as important as how you study. For an optimum learning environment, you’ll want to find a nice spot that is fairly peaceful. Some people can’t stand a deafening silence, but you certainly don’t want to study near constant distractions.

Find a spot that you can call your own, with plenty of room to spread out your stuff. Go there each time you study and you will find yourself adapting to a productive study schedule. When you study in the same place each time, you become more productive in that spot because you associate it with studying.

3. Use Acronyms to Remember Information

In your quest for knowledge, you may have once heard of an odd term called “mnemonics”. However, even if you haven’t heard of this word, you have certainly heard of its many applications. One of the most popular mnemonic examples is “Every Good Boy Does Fine”. This is an acronym used to help musicians and students to remember the notes on a treble clef stave.

An acronym is simply an abbreviation formed using the intial letters of a word. These types of memory aids can help you to learn large quantities of information in a short period of time.

4. Listen to Music

Research has long shown that certain types of music help you to recall information. Information learned while listening to a particular song can often be remembered simply by “playing” the songs mentally in your head.

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5. Rewrite Your Notes

This can be done by hand or on the computer. However, you should keep in mind that writing by hand can often stimulate more neural activity than when writing on the computer.

Everyone should study their notes at home but often times, simply re-reading them is too passive. Re-reading your notes can cause you to become disengaged and distracted.

To get the most out of your study time, make sure that it is active. Rewriting your notes turns a passive study time into an active and engaging learning tool. You can begin using this technique by buying two notebooks for each of your classes. Dedicate one of the notebooks for making notes during each class. Dedicate the other notebook to rewriting your notes outside of class.

6. Engage Your Emotions

Emotions play a very important part in your memory. Think about it. The last time you went to a party, which people did you remember? The lady who made you laugh, the man who hurt your feelings, and the kid who went screaming through the halls are the ones you will remember. They are the ones who had an emotional impact.

Fortunately, you can use the power of emotion in your own study sessions. Enhance your memory by using your five senses. Don’t just memorize facts. Don’t just see and hear the words in your mind. Create a vivid visual picture of what you are trying to learn.

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For example, if you are trying to learn the many parts of a human cell, begin physically rotating the cell in your minds eye. Imagine what each part might feel like. Begin to take the cell apart piece by piece and then reconstruct it. Paint the human cell with vivid colors. Enlarge the cell in your mind’s eye so that it is now six feet tall and putting on your own personal comedy show. This visual and emotional mind play will help deeply encode information into your memory.

7. Make Associations

One of the best ways to learn new things is to relate what you want to learn with something you already know. This is known as association, and it is the mental glue that drives your brain.

Have you ever listened to a song and been flooded by memories that were connected to it? Have you ever seen an old friend that triggered memories from childhood? This is the power of association.

To maximize our mental powers, we must constantly be looking for ways to relate new information with old ideas and concepts that we are already familiar with.

You can do this with the use of mindmapping. A mind map is used to diagram words, pictures, thoughts, and ideas into a an interconnected web of information. This simple practice will help you to connect everything you learn into a global network of knowledge that can be pulled from at any moment.

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Learn more about mindmapping here: How to Mind Map to Visualize Your Thoughts (With Mind Map Examples)

Featured photo credit: Alissa De Leva via unsplash.com

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