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20 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Social Butterfly

20 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Social Butterfly

Social butterflies are a really special species. Dating one will require a level of tolerance not many people have, so if there’s someone you really like, prepare yourself to moving your limits. They live in a world of their own where being an extrovert and an introvert is possible at the same time; they have a lot of friends, but they aren’t close with anybody really; they date a lot, but usually don’t have a single relationship that lasted more than three months; and they tend to have a lot of talents, but not one of those are fully developed, except perhaps their social skills. Dating a social butterfly will get you way out of your comfort zone, so you need to brace yourself and do your homework.

1. They always hang out with a bunch of people

You can’t really expect from a social butterfly to devote their full attention to you, at least not in the beginning of your relationship. You really can’t get mad at them because they are surrounded by a lot of different people 24/7. Their attention needs to be deserved.

2. They like to be in the spotlight

You’ll easily be able to recognize a social butterfly if you just pay attention to which person is the center of a social group. They would do and say practically anything to be noted, so prepare yourself for the unexpected.

3. They change their mind quite often

In order to understand how they tick, pay attention to the way they plan their day – they tend to keep all of their options open until they are proposed with something they really like. So, if you don’t find what they say reliable, have in mind that their plans change by the minute.

4. They expect from everyone to have social skills

Dating a social butterfly usually means you’re on your own, and this doesn’t mean they don’t care – they just don’t realize that not everyone has social skills. That lack of empathy isn’t something they do on purpose; they just don’t realize what it’s like to be uncomfortable when surrounded with a lot of unfamiliar people. If you’re determined to really put an effort into this relationship, it’s probably time to learn how to develop your social skills.

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5. They tend to be irresponsible

Considering the fact that even they don’t really know what kind of obligations they have during the day, a real responsibility can easily slip from their mind. You can’t really expect from a social butterfly to have a serious career, because they are already devoted to maintaining a certain lifestyle – the show must go on!

6. They are extraordinarily spontaneous

If your life was steady and quite until now, prepare yourself for a major lifestyle change. There’s no point in trying to resist them, and if you just go with the flow, you’ll have a lot – and I mean a lot – of stories to tell.

7. They like to experiment with everything

Whether it’s about fashion, haircuts, gadgets, music or jobs, be sure they either tried it or they plan on trying it. And, social butterflies will push whatever they are experimenting with – at least until they become good at it, because then it becomes boring.

8. They will expect from you to appreciate their sense of humor

You two can’t really work if you don’t laugh at a social butterfly’s jokes. It’s important to understand that they live of feeding with laughs. When you get there, it will be pretty simple, especially because they are usually hilarious.

9. They have occasional depressions

With so many different things happening in their lives, they occasionally get tired. When that happens, they feel alone, and that is when waves of depressions come along. It’s probably best to give them space and let them fight it – you can be positive that this isn’t the first time in a social butterfly’s life when they are struggling with who they actually are. However, if you notice that they have more than just a few signs of depression, you should jump right in and do your best to help.

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10. They tend to be artistic

One of more than just a few talents they poses will be related to at least one form of art, you can be sure of that. Considering the fact they have a lot of experience in completely different areas, it’s natural they have a need to express it someway.

11. They are great adventurists

Social butterflies tend to consider their lives to be a real life movie, with a theme song and everything. So, if you get neglected because of something you think is less important, believe me, they don’t look at things from your angle, because they’ll leave everything for an exciting adventure.

12. They need support even though they appear to be really confident

All of these characteristics create a strong figure that’s daring and confident, but that’s not the whole truth. The greatest bond you can make with a social butterfly is through support, so make sure you show a lot of it, even though you sometimes consider it isn’t necessary.

13. They have a really busy schedule

One day of a social butterfly is equal to several days of a regular person – they get up early and they stay out really late. Scheduling a date with them may sometimes feel like making an appointment with your dentist, but that’s just another part of their personality.

14. They have a big ego

You need to be very, very careful when you want to criticize a social butterfly. If you strike a nerve that’s not to be touched, you can expect not to get your calls answered for a couple of days. However, if you’re lucky to hear from them, they will undoubtedly hold a grudge and expect an apology.

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15. They have a lot of expectations from the person they date

When dating a social butterfly, you need to be able to understand everything they do without too much talking. And not only that, be sure they’ll expect from you to be resourceful, cunning and prepared for whatever they have prepared for you.

16. They have no regards for the consequences

If each day of your life was filled with various happenings and unexpected turns of events, I’m sure you wouldn’t have enough time to think things through fully either. They are more in a deal-with-consequences-when-they-arrive kind of mood, than comes planning and being responsible.

17. They have a lot of different interests

It can be impossible to keep track of everything a social butterfly likes. Also, you may be surprised with how contradictory their interests may be – football and tango, reading and developing apps, photography and philosophy – practically anything goes.

18. They like to enjoy various privileges

Every social butterfly enjoys demonstrating their influence, but they do it subtly. For example, they always have a table waiting for them in a bar, they are asked to cut long lines and they can ask for favors in the strangest places. Pretty cool, huh?

19. They take their appearance seriously

Don’t get surprised when you find out how much time your social butterfly spends in front of the mirror or in the gym. The world is their stage, so if you’re not a fashionista, it’s definitely time to learn about different styles and how to pull them off, without spending a small fortune in order to look good all the time.

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20. They are dangerously easy to fall in love with

You need to be really careful, because they are capable of sweeping you off your feet without even being aware of that fact. Take things slow, try not to get too attached and your relationship have real chances to actually work.

I hope you’ll find my pointers insightful, and that they will get you closer to understanding what a social butterfly is all about. It will take some serious effort and a lot of devotion, but if you think you can handle it, it will all be worth it. Good luck!

Featured photo credit: Young vintage hipster pretty couple having fun outdoor in summer on the street in city with cool bicycle behind white wall. Man with girl in spring urban style via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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