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20 Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say

20 Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say

Life can get pretty crazy at times. Sometimes we forget how important it is to actually listen to ourselves instead of others. Happiness is dependent upon ourselves, and there are some things in life you should always insist on doing- no matter what others have to say about it. Here is a list of 20 things you should always do.

1. Insist on chasing your dreams

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    To some people your dreams might sound far-fetched, completely unobtainable, or downright silly. No matter what other people say to you, always insist on following your dreams. If you give in, or rather, give up on your dreams, you will never know what could have happened. You only have one life to live, so you might as well give it everything you’ve got. Forget the haters.

    2. Insist on being the bigger person

    All situations and arguments are not created equally. Being the bigger person will ultimately make you feel better. Other people might disagree and say you should have fought back, or whatever else you should have done, but they don’t have to live with the consequences. Be the bigger person in life and move on. Trust me, you will be the one who wins in the long run.

    3. Insist on forgiveness

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      Forgiveness is not an easy thing. However, insisting on being forgiving will make you a happier person. Once you forgive someone you feel a weight that is lifted off your shoulders. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you go back to the way things were before, but it does mean letting yourself move on in a positive direction—and that’s never a bad thing.

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      4. Insist on seeing the glass half-full

      Screw that glass-half-empty view. Positivity is a powerful thing. The more positive a thinker you are, the more positive outcomes you will see in your life. Keep those negative thoughts out, and those negative people out too. There is almost always a bright side to a situation, and focusing on that will help get you through.

      5. Insist on staying true to yourself

      be yourself

        No matter what other people say or do, you should always be true to yourself. Throughout our lives people will try to shape our ideas, or even try and get us to do things we don’t believe in, which is why you should always be true to yourself. Make decisions for yourself, and never compromise who you are.

        6. Insist on only being around those who make you a better or happier person

        Cut out those in your life that bring you down. Only surround yourself with people who care about you just as much as you care about them. Don’t give in to being someone’s fall back plan. It can be hard to cut people from our lives, but it is also necessary. Surrounding yourself with people who make you happy will only benefit your life.

        7. Insist on learning from your mistakes

        Mistakes

          No matter what people say, you will make mistakes in your life. Life is a learning process in itself. Some people will make you feel bad about your mistakes, or insult you for making them. However, don’t let that stand in your way from learning from them. Accept your mistakes fully and really figure out what went wrong. Knowledge is power.

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          8. Insist on sticking up for what you believe in

          We will all be tested at some point in life to go against what we believe in. Our morals are a strong part of who we are, and it is important to stand up for what you believe. No matter what other people say or try to influence you with, stand tall against them.

          9. Insist on discarding all the drama from your life

          no drama

            When we are younger we all gossip and focus on the drama that goes on in the world. Growing up we learn that drama isn’t exactly as exciting as we though it was. It brings us down and actually makes life more difficult. It’s time to grow up and cut out whoever and whatever drama is taking over your life. Drama-free is the way to be!

            10. Insist on letting go of the past

            It’s hard to let go of the past sometimes, but it can really be affect your future. No matter what anyone has to say about it, insist on letting go of your past and previous grudges, and focus on the here and now. The past might have made you who you are, but the future holds the power to change you into who you want to be. Let go and feel the freedom that comes with it.

            11. Insist on embracing change and creativity

            change

              A popular aphorism is,”You cannot solve a problem in the same state of consciences that created it.” Not everything can be solved in a traditional way. Change and creativity are vital in today’s world. Things are always changing, so why should we be any different? Embracing change will help you grow as a person, and bring you opportunities that you would have otherwise missed out on. Creativity allows your mind a chance to think differently and more freely. Don’t listen to what others say about how change is bad, instead make something out of it.

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              12. Insist on paying it forward

              Not everyone is as fortunate as you might be. Try to remember that everyday. Take some time and give back to the community that you live in. Giving back will boost your mood no matter what you are going through. No matter what people might say to bring you down, just remember that you have the power to brighten someones else’s day. Always pay it forward.

              13. Insist on honesty

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                Being honest isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely always the right thing to do. No matter what people say you should always be honest with yourself and others. Being honest will help you stay true to yourself, and you will be a better person for it. Lies can get you caught up in bad situations, relationships, and even cause inner conflict. It’s best to always insist on honesty.

                14. Insist on being dedicated

                Today we see a lot of those get-rich-quick scheme and lose-100-pounds-in-a-day pills. Things in life aren’t always what they appear to be, and we all know that. However, being dedicated to something will pay off. Whether you are dedicated to getting healthy, following a dream, or getting a better-paying job, we all know that time will be involved. Good things don’t just happen overnight, they take time and effort. Insisting on putting your all into something and being dedicated to the outcome you want will help you achieve your goals.

                15. Insist on appreciating what you have

                thankful

                  We can forget to take a step back and enjoy what we have in life. This can take away from our happiness. Sometimes you just need to sit back and be happy about where your life is right now, and what you have to show for it. Sure people might tell you it’s not good enough, but don’t listen to them. It is good enough, and it gives you a sense of pride when you can enjoy the things you already have in life.

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                  16. Insist on listening to your heart

                  Sometimes you just need to follow your instincts and do what your heart tells you. There are some situations, like relationships, that rely more on your heart than on your head. People will surely tell you differently, but you should always insist on listening to what you want and feel. Again, you are the one who lives with your choices, and you are the one that has to live with  the “what ifs.” Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.

                  17. Insist on making time for yourself

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                    We get so tied up in everything that’s going on around us, and how busy our schedules are, that we forget to make time for ourselves. No matter how busy you are in your daily life, make sure to set some time aside to focus on you. You deserve it.

                    18. Insist on kindness

                    Too many people experience being bullied. It’s amazing what a small act of kindness can do for someone. Make yourself a better person and insist on being kind. You never know what someone else is going through. Being kind will also keep you more grounded in life and more positive. All these things have a positive impact on you.

                    19. Insist on living in the moment

                    life is short

                      In this crazy world we can all get caught up in everything except what’s happening in the moment. Take a step back and really enjoy the memories you are making. It’s nice to look back on picture of moments you had in life, but its even better to remember how you felt in that exact moment. Life your life to it’s fullest and embrace the moments.

                      20. Insist on finding time for pleasure

                      I said it before, and I will say it again: we get so caught up in everything around us that we forget to take a break—or even a breath sometimes. No matter how busy you are make sure to find some time and do something that you really enjoy. Whether that’s catching up with a good friend, reading a new book, or even watching your personal guilty pleasure on TV, just make sure you make time for it. Life goes by way too fast to not bring yourself some pleasure everyday.

                      Featured photo credit: John via flickr.com

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                      Published on September 23, 2020

                      6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

                      6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

                      I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

                      If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

                      What is Negotiation?

                      First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

                      Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

                      In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

                      Places We Negotiate

                      I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

                      1. Work/Business

                      This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

                      When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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                      In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

                      Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

                      2. Personal

                      I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

                      I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

                      Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

                      3. Ourselves

                      You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

                      I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

                      Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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                      Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

                      Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

                      We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

                      My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

                      If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

                      As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

                      6 Negotiation Skills to Master

                      Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

                      Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

                      1. Preparation

                      Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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                      It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

                      For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

                      After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

                      2. Clear Communication

                      The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

                      If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

                      3. Active Listening

                      Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

                      If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

                      4. Teamwork and Collaboration

                      To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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                      If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

                      When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

                      5. Problem Solving

                      Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

                      Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

                      From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

                      There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

                      6. Decision-Making Ability

                      Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

                      Conclusion

                      There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

                      Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

                      More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

                      Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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