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20 Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say

20 Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say

Life can get pretty crazy at times. Sometimes we forget how important it is to actually listen to ourselves instead of others. Happiness is dependent upon ourselves, and there are some things in life you should always insist on doing- no matter what others have to say about it. Here is a list of 20 things you should always do.

1. Insist on chasing your dreams

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    To some people your dreams might sound far-fetched, completely unobtainable, or downright silly. No matter what other people say to you, always insist on following your dreams. If you give in, or rather, give up on your dreams, you will never know what could have happened. You only have one life to live, so you might as well give it everything you’ve got. Forget the haters.

    2. Insist on being the bigger person

    All situations and arguments are not created equally. Being the bigger person will ultimately make you feel better. Other people might disagree and say you should have fought back, or whatever else you should have done, but they don’t have to live with the consequences. Be the bigger person in life and move on. Trust me, you will be the one who wins in the long run.

    3. Insist on forgiveness

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      Forgiveness is not an easy thing. However, insisting on being forgiving will make you a happier person. Once you forgive someone you feel a weight that is lifted off your shoulders. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you go back to the way things were before, but it does mean letting yourself move on in a positive direction—and that’s never a bad thing.

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      4. Insist on seeing the glass half-full

      Screw that glass-half-empty view. Positivity is a powerful thing. The more positive a thinker you are, the more positive outcomes you will see in your life. Keep those negative thoughts out, and those negative people out too. There is almost always a bright side to a situation, and focusing on that will help get you through.

      5. Insist on staying true to yourself

      be yourself

        No matter what other people say or do, you should always be true to yourself. Throughout our lives people will try to shape our ideas, or even try and get us to do things we don’t believe in, which is why you should always be true to yourself. Make decisions for yourself, and never compromise who you are.

        6. Insist on only being around those who make you a better or happier person

        Cut out those in your life that bring you down. Only surround yourself with people who care about you just as much as you care about them. Don’t give in to being someone’s fall back plan. It can be hard to cut people from our lives, but it is also necessary. Surrounding yourself with people who make you happy will only benefit your life.

        7. Insist on learning from your mistakes

        Mistakes

          No matter what people say, you will make mistakes in your life. Life is a learning process in itself. Some people will make you feel bad about your mistakes, or insult you for making them. However, don’t let that stand in your way from learning from them. Accept your mistakes fully and really figure out what went wrong. Knowledge is power.

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          8. Insist on sticking up for what you believe in

          We will all be tested at some point in life to go against what we believe in. Our morals are a strong part of who we are, and it is important to stand up for what you believe. No matter what other people say or try to influence you with, stand tall against them.

          9. Insist on discarding all the drama from your life

          no drama

            When we are younger we all gossip and focus on the drama that goes on in the world. Growing up we learn that drama isn’t exactly as exciting as we though it was. It brings us down and actually makes life more difficult. It’s time to grow up and cut out whoever and whatever drama is taking over your life. Drama-free is the way to be!

            10. Insist on letting go of the past

            It’s hard to let go of the past sometimes, but it can really be affect your future. No matter what anyone has to say about it, insist on letting go of your past and previous grudges, and focus on the here and now. The past might have made you who you are, but the future holds the power to change you into who you want to be. Let go and feel the freedom that comes with it.

            11. Insist on embracing change and creativity

            change

              A popular aphorism is,”You cannot solve a problem in the same state of consciences that created it.” Not everything can be solved in a traditional way. Change and creativity are vital in today’s world. Things are always changing, so why should we be any different? Embracing change will help you grow as a person, and bring you opportunities that you would have otherwise missed out on. Creativity allows your mind a chance to think differently and more freely. Don’t listen to what others say about how change is bad, instead make something out of it.

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              12. Insist on paying it forward

              Not everyone is as fortunate as you might be. Try to remember that everyday. Take some time and give back to the community that you live in. Giving back will boost your mood no matter what you are going through. No matter what people might say to bring you down, just remember that you have the power to brighten someones else’s day. Always pay it forward.

              13. Insist on honesty

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                Being honest isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely always the right thing to do. No matter what people say you should always be honest with yourself and others. Being honest will help you stay true to yourself, and you will be a better person for it. Lies can get you caught up in bad situations, relationships, and even cause inner conflict. It’s best to always insist on honesty.

                14. Insist on being dedicated

                Today we see a lot of those get-rich-quick scheme and lose-100-pounds-in-a-day pills. Things in life aren’t always what they appear to be, and we all know that. However, being dedicated to something will pay off. Whether you are dedicated to getting healthy, following a dream, or getting a better-paying job, we all know that time will be involved. Good things don’t just happen overnight, they take time and effort. Insisting on putting your all into something and being dedicated to the outcome you want will help you achieve your goals.

                15. Insist on appreciating what you have

                thankful

                  We can forget to take a step back and enjoy what we have in life. This can take away from our happiness. Sometimes you just need to sit back and be happy about where your life is right now, and what you have to show for it. Sure people might tell you it’s not good enough, but don’t listen to them. It is good enough, and it gives you a sense of pride when you can enjoy the things you already have in life.

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                  16. Insist on listening to your heart

                  Sometimes you just need to follow your instincts and do what your heart tells you. There are some situations, like relationships, that rely more on your heart than on your head. People will surely tell you differently, but you should always insist on listening to what you want and feel. Again, you are the one who lives with your choices, and you are the one that has to live with  the “what ifs.” Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.

                  17. Insist on making time for yourself

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                    We get so tied up in everything that’s going on around us, and how busy our schedules are, that we forget to make time for ourselves. No matter how busy you are in your daily life, make sure to set some time aside to focus on you. You deserve it.

                    18. Insist on kindness

                    Too many people experience being bullied. It’s amazing what a small act of kindness can do for someone. Make yourself a better person and insist on being kind. You never know what someone else is going through. Being kind will also keep you more grounded in life and more positive. All these things have a positive impact on you.

                    19. Insist on living in the moment

                    life is short

                      In this crazy world we can all get caught up in everything except what’s happening in the moment. Take a step back and really enjoy the memories you are making. It’s nice to look back on picture of moments you had in life, but its even better to remember how you felt in that exact moment. Life your life to it’s fullest and embrace the moments.

                      20. Insist on finding time for pleasure

                      I said it before, and I will say it again: we get so caught up in everything around us that we forget to take a break—or even a breath sometimes. No matter how busy you are make sure to find some time and do something that you really enjoy. Whether that’s catching up with a good friend, reading a new book, or even watching your personal guilty pleasure on TV, just make sure you make time for it. Life goes by way too fast to not bring yourself some pleasure everyday.

                      Featured photo credit: John via flickr.com

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                      Last Updated on August 19, 2019

                      How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

                      How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

                      We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

                      When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

                      In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

                      Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

                      If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

                      According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

                      No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

                      When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

                      Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

                      1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

                      When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

                      Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

                      When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

                      Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

                      In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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                      It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

                      You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

                      Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

                      What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

                      You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

                      That’s where we all should be.

                      So, answer me this:

                      How are you, really?

                      And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

                      Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

                      Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

                      Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

                      Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

                      It’s taking control.

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                      2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

                      You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

                      You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

                      In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

                      Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

                      You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

                      Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

                      But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

                      It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

                      In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

                      It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

                      Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

                      Change will happen.

                      Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

                      You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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                      And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

                      You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

                      That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

                      You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

                      When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

                      There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

                      3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

                      Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

                      In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

                      If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

                      Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

                      Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

                      How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

                      Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

                      “Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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                      Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

                      Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

                      It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

                      Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

                      “If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

                      What would you do if you felt you were enough?

                      By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

                      So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

                      Final Thoughts

                      By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

                      Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

                      When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

                      You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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                      Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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