Advertising

20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Advertising
20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

The only thing standing in your way towards happiness is you; no one else is allowed to set up limits for you but you, nor there should be. No matter what kind of problems you’re dealing with, how old you are or where you live, you deserve to be happy – it’s as simple as that. It’s time to face the fact that you’re in control of your future, and finally do something about it!

1. Give up excuses

1

    The easiest way to avoid something is to make up an excuse for it, and we all do it occasionally, like there’s not enough time during our busy day to join the gym, or it’s too late now to start learning a new language because we’re too old. I know there’s that silent voice in your head that says these things aren’t true, but you always find a way to ignore it somehow, don’t you? However, if you decide to work on your happiness, it’s time to stop being lazy! It’s never too late and you’re never too old to start something new and exciting.

    2. Give up unresolved relationships

    2

      Every person in the world has their past, and that’s something you can’t change. But, it’s not like you can’t deal with it and move on, right? A huge part of the past that’s dragging us down is usually related to romantic relationships. It’s hard on all of us to accept a certain fact, and stop wondering how all that effort has gone to waste. In order to make room for happiness in your life, you need to give up dwelling on the past, and start thinking about the bright future that’s in front of you.

      3. Give up stress

      3

        Stressing out is good for nothing; it doesn’t help in solving that certain problem bothering you, it decreases your productivity and it violates your health. The first step towards getting rid of stress once and for all is admitting you’re under it. It’s not that difficult after you confront this problem – you just need to find the perfect way to channel your thoughts, like meditation for example. The process of meditation will allow you to clear your head and cleanse your thoughts, and it’s good for your body as well, so why not give it a shot?

        4. Give up bad habits

        Advertising

        4

          You can’t really enjoy life if you have troubles with any kind of addiction, and it really doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is – cigarettes or drugs – because both of them have a negative effect on your success. Like with the previous one, bad habits too require from you to admit them first. Also, you shouldn’t hesitate from asking for help, because there are people who are trained to show you how to stop consuming nasty substances and explain the process thoroughly.

          5. Give up hastily-made choices

          5

            You’re in no hurry. There’s enough time for everything, and nothing will pass you by if you stop and think for a second. Sure, it’s important to allow yourself to be spontaneous and crazy every now and then, but most of your decisions should have a clear process of thinking standing behind them, so you always know why you decided to do something and which consequences you may expect. Every time you’re faced with a choice, remember to breathe in and take some time to find out what option will be good for you.

            6. Give up regrets

            6

              The older we are, the smarter we get, right? Experience that we gather in time often has a way of showing us how bad some decisions in our past were. That’s obviously the price we pay for knowledge, and it’s not really pleasant, but it’s worth it. You need to face the fact that no one on this planet is perfect, and that we all make mistakes. The most important part about dealing with regrets is to find a way to forgive yourself first, and then ask for forgiveness from others. Don’t torture yourself any longer with things that simply can’t be fixed – well, not until they invent a time travel machine.

              7. Give up resentments

              7

                This is really a two-way street, you know – if you want from others to forgive you for your lousy choices in the past, you need to do the same. Nothing good can come out of blaming people and judging them for something that happened years ago. If you let go of your resentments, you’ll make room in your life for good things which don’t eat you up from the inside. Besides, those thoughts just burden your mind additionally, and giving them up will enable you to feel free and be open-minded once again.

                8. Give up trying to control the future

                Advertising

                8

                  Making smart decisions and reasonable plans is one thing, but trying to control how everything will turn out in the end is something else. Unfortunately, we can’t predict the future, no matter how hard we try, and there are good reasons why that’s a fact. Something unexpected is bound to happen and you can’t do a thing to prevent it. Facing this undeniable fact will make your life so much easier. Having high expectations has a nasty habit of ruining even the good things for us, so give it up, sit back and enjoy the ride.

                  9. Give up being irresponsible

                  9

                    On the other hand, things may not be working out for you because you don’t take them seriously. Whether we’re talking about work, family or love, the formula for success is pretty much the same for every aspect of your life – if you want things done in your life, it’s important to invest some hard work and devotion into them. You may not be aware that you’re feeling unfulfilled right now, but that tiny void can grow really fast, and develop quite quickly. So, get up and make things happen for you!

                    10. Give up chasing wrong people

                    10

                      It doesn’t really matter if you’re chasing someone because you want to be their friend, or you want to get romantically involved with them, but you need to stop that right now. If a certain person doesn’t appreciate you and your efforts enough to give you a chance, things should be quite self-explicatory – they don’t deserve you! Sure, the situation is difficult to comprehend and it’s completely normal to feel disappointed, but you have done your best, and if that’s not enough, it’s simply not meant to be and you need to learn how to deal with it.

                      11. Give up trying to please everybody

                      11

                        Was there a court that assigned a number of people you need to try and please all your life, before you were born, of course? I don’t think so. Making other people happy is a really great gesture, and there’s not a feeling like that sensation you get when you know you’re responsible for someone’s smile. However, if this at some point becomes unilaterally, and if the only effort invested into a certain relationship is yours, the smart thing to do is click the pause button and see what happens. Good relationships survive because both sides are ready to nurture that bond between you, so you can’t and shouldn’t even try to do the amount of work that’s intended for two persons.

                        12. Give up limitations you set by yourself

                        Advertising

                        12

                          Convincing yourself that there’s something you can’t or don’t know how to do will only create an illusion that the walls are coming closer around you, which definitely isn’t true. You never know what you’re capable of doing until you try. I’m sure there are at least of a couple things that you wanted to do your whole life but you were afraid to do them, so now is the perfect time to break those wrongfully made limits you set by yourself and finally do something exciting that makes you feel alive!

                          13. Give up disappointments

                          13

                            Happy, determined people don’t really have enough time to feel down. Getting disappointed all the time is pointless and it won’t do you much good, you know. It’ll only make you feel bad about yourself and waste your time, the time you’d rather be spending on doing something that fulfills you. Therefore, the next time something disappointing happens, take some time to see what went wrong, and analyze the situation so you know better in the future and stop there. Even this kind of unfortunate turn of events can result in something good – constructive thinking can lead you to success, because having the ability to evaluate circumstances better will directly cause the number of situations that make you feel disappointed to decrease, right?

                            14. Give up feeling misunderstood

                            14

                              A lot of people have troubles when it comes to finding their spot in the world. Not all of us are lucky to be born with amazing people skills, so we don’t have any trouble finding a group of people that will accept us immediately. You need to know that this isn’t a bad thing. The fact that finding your place in society takes more time only means that you’re not like most people around you – you are unique. Besides, things that need time and effort to find somehow make us appreciate them more, and not take them for granted. Once you find that comfortable little spot meant only for you, and you will, I’m sure you’ll consider it to be worth all the troubles you’ve been through while you felt like an outsider.

                              15. Give up trying to be someone you’re not

                              15

                                On the other hand, you might be feeling miserable because you’re surrounded by people who think you’re someone you’re not. This may be the problem because you decided, sometime in the past, that it’s easier to act socially acceptable than to go through all the trouble and show people who you really are. Well, you can’t really expect for these things to stay inside your closet forever, can you? It’s hard and you’ll feel vulnerable, but if you want people to love the real you, you need to allow them to get to know you. Take baby steps, don’t give up and you’ll be just fine!

                                16. Give up trying to find the easy way out

                                Advertising

                                16

                                  You know that amazing feeling of satisfaction that comes after long hours and hard work which paid off in the end? You don’t? Well, if you don’t truly devote yourself and invest real effort into something, you never will. Chances are you won’t inherit a fortune from a cousin you didn’t know existed, and that you won’t win the lottery that will turn your life around, so it is time to face the fact that you need to roll up your sleeves and deserve good things. Finding the easy way out for everything won’t make you appreciate yourself and your skills, but hard work will.

                                  17. Give up old clothes

                                  17

                                    Our emotions have a way of attaching to random objects, clothes mostly – like an old t-shirt that reminds us of a former lover who you parted with in a not-so-pleasant way, a worn-out sweater that reminds you of a Christmas long ago when your parents went through a divorce or perhaps an old-fashioned bag which was a gift from your friend with whom you’re no longer in contact with. All memories worth remembering will stay in your mind, and if you keep on collecting garments and accessories this way, your closet will soon become a museum of your past, which is way worse than having actual skeletons. It’s not necessary to spend a fortune on branded items, you know. For example, instead of going for an overpriced clutch purse that can’t fit more than a smartphone, you should perhaps look for a quality messenger bag that you’ll actually find useful. The clothes you wear should be all about quality not quantity – that’s the only way you’ll feel good in them.

                                    18. Give up junk food

                                    18

                                      That’s not real food and you know it. Your outer appearance will start to reflect the foods you intake the moment your organism slows down, which will surely happen, it’s just a matter of time. Enjoying delicious meals that actually have energetic value and which won’t make you gain weight is a privilege, and the only way to get it is to learn how to cook! Give some to get some, right? The truth is that absolutely anyone can do it, and all that is preventing you from preparing amazingly healthy meals is some practice. The obvious solution is to sign up for a class, but there are bunch of quite helpful tutorials and recipes written in detail online, so you don’t even need to leave your home. Watching someone who’s pretty great at what they do like Jamie Oliver can be really inspiring, which is a great place to start, as well.

                                      19. Give up feeling unsatisfied with your body

                                      19

                                        How dull our world would be if all people would look like if they were made according to some kind of pattern? The way you look is absolutely unique which makes it beautiful in its own way, and you shouldn’t spend one second being concerned about what the rest of the world thinks. It’s important to take good care of your body, exercise and nurture it – the rest is up to nature. A huge part of happiness is based on accepting yourself exactly the way you are. If you don’t, why should anyone else?

                                        20. Give up worrying about money

                                        Advertising

                                        20

                                          Money is probably your main source of stress. People are too worried about having enough money so that they can have pretty things, but while you’re doing that, your life is passing you buy. Starting now, you should look at money like if it were a task you need to complete in your office – do what needs to be done and leave it behind you. Managing money is something you learn, it’s practically a skill you develop, so if you have no previous experience except the one you were imposed to, you should read up more on the subject. Your life will be significantly easier and much happier when you learn to handle money. I truly hope you’ll find my article inspiring! Giving up all these things will surely make your life filled with happiness, so you should definitely consider giving them a shot. Let me know how it goes!

                                          Featured photo credit: Hipster by camper van at festival on a summers day via shutterstock.com

                                          More by this author

                                          29 Honeymoon Destinations You Should Not Miss 8 Romantic Cities that Make the Perfect Honeymoon Destination Being Asked a Tricky Interview Question? Give These Skillful Responses to Earn Extra Time 6 Useful Gadgets Every Proud Workaholic Should Own How Not to Get Ripped Off When Buying Your First Car

                                          Trending in Communication

                                          1 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 2 Why Your Lover Doesn’t Want Your Advice, but Your Validation 3 How to Find Happiness in Your Everyday Life 4 5 Tips for Self-Care During the Holidays 5 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do)

                                          Read Next

                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising

                                          Last Updated on January 5, 2022

                                          How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

                                          Advertising
                                          How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

                                          We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

                                          Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

                                          Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

                                          Expressing Anger

                                          Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

                                          Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

                                          Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

                                          Being Passive-Aggressive

                                          This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

                                          Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

                                          This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

                                          Advertising

                                          Poorly-Timed

                                          Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

                                          An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

                                          Ongoing Anger

                                          Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

                                          Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

                                          Healthy Ways to Express Anger

                                          What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

                                          Being Honest

                                          Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

                                          Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

                                          Being Direct

                                          Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

                                          Advertising

                                          Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

                                          Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

                                          Being Timely

                                          When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

                                          Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

                                          Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

                                          How to Deal With Anger

                                          If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

                                          1. Slow Down

                                          From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

                                          In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

                                          Advertising

                                          When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

                                          2. Focus on the “I”

                                          Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

                                          When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

                                          3. Work out

                                          When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

                                          Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

                                          Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

                                          4. Seek Help When Needed

                                          There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

                                          5. Practice Relaxation

                                          We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

                                          Advertising

                                          That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

                                          Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

                                          6. Laugh

                                          Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

                                          7. Be Grateful

                                          It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

                                          Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

                                          During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

                                          Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

                                          Advertising

                                          More Resources on Anger Management

                                          Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

                                          Read Next