Advertising

20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Advertising
20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

The only thing standing in your way towards happiness is you; no one else is allowed to set up limits for you but you, nor there should be. No matter what kind of problems you’re dealing with, how old you are or where you live, you deserve to be happy – it’s as simple as that. It’s time to face the fact that you’re in control of your future, and finally do something about it!

1. Give up excuses

1

    The easiest way to avoid something is to make up an excuse for it, and we all do it occasionally, like there’s not enough time during our busy day to join the gym, or it’s too late now to start learning a new language because we’re too old. I know there’s that silent voice in your head that says these things aren’t true, but you always find a way to ignore it somehow, don’t you? However, if you decide to work on your happiness, it’s time to stop being lazy! It’s never too late and you’re never too old to start something new and exciting.

    2. Give up unresolved relationships

    2

      Every person in the world has their past, and that’s something you can’t change. But, it’s not like you can’t deal with it and move on, right? A huge part of the past that’s dragging us down is usually related to romantic relationships. It’s hard on all of us to accept a certain fact, and stop wondering how all that effort has gone to waste. In order to make room for happiness in your life, you need to give up dwelling on the past, and start thinking about the bright future that’s in front of you.

      3. Give up stress

      3

        Stressing out is good for nothing; it doesn’t help in solving that certain problem bothering you, it decreases your productivity and it violates your health. The first step towards getting rid of stress once and for all is admitting you’re under it. It’s not that difficult after you confront this problem – you just need to find the perfect way to channel your thoughts, like meditation for example. The process of meditation will allow you to clear your head and cleanse your thoughts, and it’s good for your body as well, so why not give it a shot?

        4. Give up bad habits

        Advertising

        4

          You can’t really enjoy life if you have troubles with any kind of addiction, and it really doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is – cigarettes or drugs – because both of them have a negative effect on your success. Like with the previous one, bad habits too require from you to admit them first. Also, you shouldn’t hesitate from asking for help, because there are people who are trained to show you how to stop consuming nasty substances and explain the process thoroughly.

          5. Give up hastily-made choices

          5

            You’re in no hurry. There’s enough time for everything, and nothing will pass you by if you stop and think for a second. Sure, it’s important to allow yourself to be spontaneous and crazy every now and then, but most of your decisions should have a clear process of thinking standing behind them, so you always know why you decided to do something and which consequences you may expect. Every time you’re faced with a choice, remember to breathe in and take some time to find out what option will be good for you.

            6. Give up regrets

            6

              The older we are, the smarter we get, right? Experience that we gather in time often has a way of showing us how bad some decisions in our past were. That’s obviously the price we pay for knowledge, and it’s not really pleasant, but it’s worth it. You need to face the fact that no one on this planet is perfect, and that we all make mistakes. The most important part about dealing with regrets is to find a way to forgive yourself first, and then ask for forgiveness from others. Don’t torture yourself any longer with things that simply can’t be fixed – well, not until they invent a time travel machine.

              7. Give up resentments

              7

                This is really a two-way street, you know – if you want from others to forgive you for your lousy choices in the past, you need to do the same. Nothing good can come out of blaming people and judging them for something that happened years ago. If you let go of your resentments, you’ll make room in your life for good things which don’t eat you up from the inside. Besides, those thoughts just burden your mind additionally, and giving them up will enable you to feel free and be open-minded once again.

                8. Give up trying to control the future

                Advertising

                8

                  Making smart decisions and reasonable plans is one thing, but trying to control how everything will turn out in the end is something else. Unfortunately, we can’t predict the future, no matter how hard we try, and there are good reasons why that’s a fact. Something unexpected is bound to happen and you can’t do a thing to prevent it. Facing this undeniable fact will make your life so much easier. Having high expectations has a nasty habit of ruining even the good things for us, so give it up, sit back and enjoy the ride.

                  9. Give up being irresponsible

                  9

                    On the other hand, things may not be working out for you because you don’t take them seriously. Whether we’re talking about work, family or love, the formula for success is pretty much the same for every aspect of your life – if you want things done in your life, it’s important to invest some hard work and devotion into them. You may not be aware that you’re feeling unfulfilled right now, but that tiny void can grow really fast, and develop quite quickly. So, get up and make things happen for you!

                    10. Give up chasing wrong people

                    10

                      It doesn’t really matter if you’re chasing someone because you want to be their friend, or you want to get romantically involved with them, but you need to stop that right now. If a certain person doesn’t appreciate you and your efforts enough to give you a chance, things should be quite self-explicatory – they don’t deserve you! Sure, the situation is difficult to comprehend and it’s completely normal to feel disappointed, but you have done your best, and if that’s not enough, it’s simply not meant to be and you need to learn how to deal with it.

                      11. Give up trying to please everybody

                      11

                        Was there a court that assigned a number of people you need to try and please all your life, before you were born, of course? I don’t think so. Making other people happy is a really great gesture, and there’s not a feeling like that sensation you get when you know you’re responsible for someone’s smile. However, if this at some point becomes unilaterally, and if the only effort invested into a certain relationship is yours, the smart thing to do is click the pause button and see what happens. Good relationships survive because both sides are ready to nurture that bond between you, so you can’t and shouldn’t even try to do the amount of work that’s intended for two persons.

                        12. Give up limitations you set by yourself

                        Advertising

                        12

                          Convincing yourself that there’s something you can’t or don’t know how to do will only create an illusion that the walls are coming closer around you, which definitely isn’t true. You never know what you’re capable of doing until you try. I’m sure there are at least of a couple things that you wanted to do your whole life but you were afraid to do them, so now is the perfect time to break those wrongfully made limits you set by yourself and finally do something exciting that makes you feel alive!

                          13. Give up disappointments

                          13

                            Happy, determined people don’t really have enough time to feel down. Getting disappointed all the time is pointless and it won’t do you much good, you know. It’ll only make you feel bad about yourself and waste your time, the time you’d rather be spending on doing something that fulfills you. Therefore, the next time something disappointing happens, take some time to see what went wrong, and analyze the situation so you know better in the future and stop there. Even this kind of unfortunate turn of events can result in something good – constructive thinking can lead you to success, because having the ability to evaluate circumstances better will directly cause the number of situations that make you feel disappointed to decrease, right?

                            14. Give up feeling misunderstood

                            14

                              A lot of people have troubles when it comes to finding their spot in the world. Not all of us are lucky to be born with amazing people skills, so we don’t have any trouble finding a group of people that will accept us immediately. You need to know that this isn’t a bad thing. The fact that finding your place in society takes more time only means that you’re not like most people around you – you are unique. Besides, things that need time and effort to find somehow make us appreciate them more, and not take them for granted. Once you find that comfortable little spot meant only for you, and you will, I’m sure you’ll consider it to be worth all the troubles you’ve been through while you felt like an outsider.

                              15. Give up trying to be someone you’re not

                              15

                                On the other hand, you might be feeling miserable because you’re surrounded by people who think you’re someone you’re not. This may be the problem because you decided, sometime in the past, that it’s easier to act socially acceptable than to go through all the trouble and show people who you really are. Well, you can’t really expect for these things to stay inside your closet forever, can you? It’s hard and you’ll feel vulnerable, but if you want people to love the real you, you need to allow them to get to know you. Take baby steps, don’t give up and you’ll be just fine!

                                16. Give up trying to find the easy way out

                                Advertising

                                16

                                  You know that amazing feeling of satisfaction that comes after long hours and hard work which paid off in the end? You don’t? Well, if you don’t truly devote yourself and invest real effort into something, you never will. Chances are you won’t inherit a fortune from a cousin you didn’t know existed, and that you won’t win the lottery that will turn your life around, so it is time to face the fact that you need to roll up your sleeves and deserve good things. Finding the easy way out for everything won’t make you appreciate yourself and your skills, but hard work will.

                                  17. Give up old clothes

                                  17

                                    Our emotions have a way of attaching to random objects, clothes mostly – like an old t-shirt that reminds us of a former lover who you parted with in a not-so-pleasant way, a worn-out sweater that reminds you of a Christmas long ago when your parents went through a divorce or perhaps an old-fashioned bag which was a gift from your friend with whom you’re no longer in contact with. All memories worth remembering will stay in your mind, and if you keep on collecting garments and accessories this way, your closet will soon become a museum of your past, which is way worse than having actual skeletons. It’s not necessary to spend a fortune on branded items, you know. For example, instead of going for an overpriced clutch purse that can’t fit more than a smartphone, you should perhaps look for a quality messenger bag that you’ll actually find useful. The clothes you wear should be all about quality not quantity – that’s the only way you’ll feel good in them.

                                    18. Give up junk food

                                    18

                                      That’s not real food and you know it. Your outer appearance will start to reflect the foods you intake the moment your organism slows down, which will surely happen, it’s just a matter of time. Enjoying delicious meals that actually have energetic value and which won’t make you gain weight is a privilege, and the only way to get it is to learn how to cook! Give some to get some, right? The truth is that absolutely anyone can do it, and all that is preventing you from preparing amazingly healthy meals is some practice. The obvious solution is to sign up for a class, but there are bunch of quite helpful tutorials and recipes written in detail online, so you don’t even need to leave your home. Watching someone who’s pretty great at what they do like Jamie Oliver can be really inspiring, which is a great place to start, as well.

                                      19. Give up feeling unsatisfied with your body

                                      19

                                        How dull our world would be if all people would look like if they were made according to some kind of pattern? The way you look is absolutely unique which makes it beautiful in its own way, and you shouldn’t spend one second being concerned about what the rest of the world thinks. It’s important to take good care of your body, exercise and nurture it – the rest is up to nature. A huge part of happiness is based on accepting yourself exactly the way you are. If you don’t, why should anyone else?

                                        20. Give up worrying about money

                                        Advertising

                                        20

                                          Money is probably your main source of stress. People are too worried about having enough money so that they can have pretty things, but while you’re doing that, your life is passing you buy. Starting now, you should look at money like if it were a task you need to complete in your office – do what needs to be done and leave it behind you. Managing money is something you learn, it’s practically a skill you develop, so if you have no previous experience except the one you were imposed to, you should read up more on the subject. Your life will be significantly easier and much happier when you learn to handle money. I truly hope you’ll find my article inspiring! Giving up all these things will surely make your life filled with happiness, so you should definitely consider giving them a shot. Let me know how it goes!

                                          Featured photo credit: Hipster by camper van at festival on a summers day via shutterstock.com

                                          More by this author

                                          Being Asked a Tricky Interview Question? Give These Skillful Responses to Earn Extra Time 6 Useful Gadgets Every Proud Workaholic Should Own How Not to Get Ripped Off When Buying Your First Car How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy When Things Get Serious: How to Go from “Single” to “In a Relationship”

                                          Trending in Communication

                                          1 10 Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship (And What To Do About It) 2 I Want To Be Happy: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Find Happiness 3 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 4 10 Morning Habits Of Happy People 5 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

                                          Read Next

                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising

                                          Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                          How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                          Advertising
                                          How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                          You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                          Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                          Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                          Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                          1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                          According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                          “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                          Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                          Warming up

                                          If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                          If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                          Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

                                          Advertising

                                          1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                          2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                          3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                          Stay hydrated

                                          Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                          To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                          Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                          Meditate

                                          Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                          Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                          Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                          Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                          2. Focus on your goal

                                          One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                          Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                          Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

                                          Advertising

                                          Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                          If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                          3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                          There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                          ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                          It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                          Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                          Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                          Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                          4. Understand your content

                                          Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

                                          Advertising

                                          However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                          “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                          Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                          Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                          One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                          5. Practice makes perfect

                                          Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                          In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                          Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                          6. Be authentic

                                          There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                          Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

                                          Advertising

                                          Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                          To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                          With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                          Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                          7. Post speech evaluation

                                          Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                          Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                          We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                          You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                          Improve your next speech

                                          As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                          Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

                                          Advertising

                                          • How did I do?
                                          • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                          • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                          • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                          • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                          • How was the flow of the speech?

                                          Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                          If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                          Reference

                                          Read Next