Advertising
Advertising

20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

20 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Truly Happy

The only thing standing in your way towards happiness is you; no one else is allowed to set up limits for you but you, nor there should be. No matter what kind of problems you’re dealing with, how old you are or where you live, you deserve to be happy – it’s as simple as that. It’s time to face the fact that you’re in control of your future, and finally do something about it!

1. Give up excuses

1

    The easiest way to avoid something is to make up an excuse for it, and we all do it occasionally, like there’s not enough time during our busy day to join the gym, or it’s too late now to start learning a new language because we’re too old. I know there’s that silent voice in your head that says these things aren’t true, but you always find a way to ignore it somehow, don’t you? However, if you decide to work on your happiness, it’s time to stop being lazy! It’s never too late and you’re never too old to start something new and exciting.

    2. Give up unresolved relationships

    2

      Every person in the world has their past, and that’s something you can’t change. But, it’s not like you can’t deal with it and move on, right? A huge part of the past that’s dragging us down is usually related to romantic relationships. It’s hard on all of us to accept a certain fact, and stop wondering how all that effort has gone to waste. In order to make room for happiness in your life, you need to give up dwelling on the past, and start thinking about the bright future that’s in front of you.

      3. Give up stress

      3

        Stressing out is good for nothing; it doesn’t help in solving that certain problem bothering you, it decreases your productivity and it violates your health. The first step towards getting rid of stress once and for all is admitting you’re under it. It’s not that difficult after you confront this problem – you just need to find the perfect way to channel your thoughts, like meditation for example. The process of meditation will allow you to clear your head and cleanse your thoughts, and it’s good for your body as well, so why not give it a shot?

        4. Give up bad habits

        Advertising

        4

          You can’t really enjoy life if you have troubles with any kind of addiction, and it really doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is – cigarettes or drugs – because both of them have a negative effect on your success. Like with the previous one, bad habits too require from you to admit them first. Also, you shouldn’t hesitate from asking for help, because there are people who are trained to show you how to stop consuming nasty substances and explain the process thoroughly.

          5. Give up hastily-made choices

          5

            You’re in no hurry. There’s enough time for everything, and nothing will pass you by if you stop and think for a second. Sure, it’s important to allow yourself to be spontaneous and crazy every now and then, but most of your decisions should have a clear process of thinking standing behind them, so you always know why you decided to do something and which consequences you may expect. Every time you’re faced with a choice, remember to breathe in and take some time to find out what option will be good for you.

            6. Give up regrets

            6

              The older we are, the smarter we get, right? Experience that we gather in time often has a way of showing us how bad some decisions in our past were. That’s obviously the price we pay for knowledge, and it’s not really pleasant, but it’s worth it. You need to face the fact that no one on this planet is perfect, and that we all make mistakes. The most important part about dealing with regrets is to find a way to forgive yourself first, and then ask for forgiveness from others. Don’t torture yourself any longer with things that simply can’t be fixed – well, not until they invent a time travel machine.

              7. Give up resentments

              7

                This is really a two-way street, you know – if you want from others to forgive you for your lousy choices in the past, you need to do the same. Nothing good can come out of blaming people and judging them for something that happened years ago. If you let go of your resentments, you’ll make room in your life for good things which don’t eat you up from the inside. Besides, those thoughts just burden your mind additionally, and giving them up will enable you to feel free and be open-minded once again.

                8. Give up trying to control the future

                Advertising

                8

                  Making smart decisions and reasonable plans is one thing, but trying to control how everything will turn out in the end is something else. Unfortunately, we can’t predict the future, no matter how hard we try, and there are good reasons why that’s a fact. Something unexpected is bound to happen and you can’t do a thing to prevent it. Facing this undeniable fact will make your life so much easier. Having high expectations has a nasty habit of ruining even the good things for us, so give it up, sit back and enjoy the ride.

                  9. Give up being irresponsible

                  9

                    On the other hand, things may not be working out for you because you don’t take them seriously. Whether we’re talking about work, family or love, the formula for success is pretty much the same for every aspect of your life – if you want things done in your life, it’s important to invest some hard work and devotion into them. You may not be aware that you’re feeling unfulfilled right now, but that tiny void can grow really fast, and develop quite quickly. So, get up and make things happen for you!

                    10. Give up chasing wrong people

                    10

                      It doesn’t really matter if you’re chasing someone because you want to be their friend, or you want to get romantically involved with them, but you need to stop that right now. If a certain person doesn’t appreciate you and your efforts enough to give you a chance, things should be quite self-explicatory – they don’t deserve you! Sure, the situation is difficult to comprehend and it’s completely normal to feel disappointed, but you have done your best, and if that’s not enough, it’s simply not meant to be and you need to learn how to deal with it.

                      11. Give up trying to please everybody

                      11

                        Was there a court that assigned a number of people you need to try and please all your life, before you were born, of course? I don’t think so. Making other people happy is a really great gesture, and there’s not a feeling like that sensation you get when you know you’re responsible for someone’s smile. However, if this at some point becomes unilaterally, and if the only effort invested into a certain relationship is yours, the smart thing to do is click the pause button and see what happens. Good relationships survive because both sides are ready to nurture that bond between you, so you can’t and shouldn’t even try to do the amount of work that’s intended for two persons.

                        12. Give up limitations you set by yourself

                        Advertising

                        12

                          Convincing yourself that there’s something you can’t or don’t know how to do will only create an illusion that the walls are coming closer around you, which definitely isn’t true. You never know what you’re capable of doing until you try. I’m sure there are at least of a couple things that you wanted to do your whole life but you were afraid to do them, so now is the perfect time to break those wrongfully made limits you set by yourself and finally do something exciting that makes you feel alive!

                          13. Give up disappointments

                          13

                            Happy, determined people don’t really have enough time to feel down. Getting disappointed all the time is pointless and it won’t do you much good, you know. It’ll only make you feel bad about yourself and waste your time, the time you’d rather be spending on doing something that fulfills you. Therefore, the next time something disappointing happens, take some time to see what went wrong, and analyze the situation so you know better in the future and stop there. Even this kind of unfortunate turn of events can result in something good – constructive thinking can lead you to success, because having the ability to evaluate circumstances better will directly cause the number of situations that make you feel disappointed to decrease, right?

                            14. Give up feeling misunderstood

                            14

                              A lot of people have troubles when it comes to finding their spot in the world. Not all of us are lucky to be born with amazing people skills, so we don’t have any trouble finding a group of people that will accept us immediately. You need to know that this isn’t a bad thing. The fact that finding your place in society takes more time only means that you’re not like most people around you – you are unique. Besides, things that need time and effort to find somehow make us appreciate them more, and not take them for granted. Once you find that comfortable little spot meant only for you, and you will, I’m sure you’ll consider it to be worth all the troubles you’ve been through while you felt like an outsider.

                              15. Give up trying to be someone you’re not

                              15

                                On the other hand, you might be feeling miserable because you’re surrounded by people who think you’re someone you’re not. This may be the problem because you decided, sometime in the past, that it’s easier to act socially acceptable than to go through all the trouble and show people who you really are. Well, you can’t really expect for these things to stay inside your closet forever, can you? It’s hard and you’ll feel vulnerable, but if you want people to love the real you, you need to allow them to get to know you. Take baby steps, don’t give up and you’ll be just fine!

                                16. Give up trying to find the easy way out

                                Advertising

                                16

                                  You know that amazing feeling of satisfaction that comes after long hours and hard work which paid off in the end? You don’t? Well, if you don’t truly devote yourself and invest real effort into something, you never will. Chances are you won’t inherit a fortune from a cousin you didn’t know existed, and that you won’t win the lottery that will turn your life around, so it is time to face the fact that you need to roll up your sleeves and deserve good things. Finding the easy way out for everything won’t make you appreciate yourself and your skills, but hard work will.

                                  17. Give up old clothes

                                  17

                                    Our emotions have a way of attaching to random objects, clothes mostly – like an old t-shirt that reminds us of a former lover who you parted with in a not-so-pleasant way, a worn-out sweater that reminds you of a Christmas long ago when your parents went through a divorce or perhaps an old-fashioned bag which was a gift from your friend with whom you’re no longer in contact with. All memories worth remembering will stay in your mind, and if you keep on collecting garments and accessories this way, your closet will soon become a museum of your past, which is way worse than having actual skeletons. It’s not necessary to spend a fortune on branded items, you know. For example, instead of going for an overpriced clutch purse that can’t fit more than a smartphone, you should perhaps look for a quality messenger bag that you’ll actually find useful. The clothes you wear should be all about quality not quantity – that’s the only way you’ll feel good in them.

                                    18. Give up junk food

                                    18

                                      That’s not real food and you know it. Your outer appearance will start to reflect the foods you intake the moment your organism slows down, which will surely happen, it’s just a matter of time. Enjoying delicious meals that actually have energetic value and which won’t make you gain weight is a privilege, and the only way to get it is to learn how to cook! Give some to get some, right? The truth is that absolutely anyone can do it, and all that is preventing you from preparing amazingly healthy meals is some practice. The obvious solution is to sign up for a class, but there are bunch of quite helpful tutorials and recipes written in detail online, so you don’t even need to leave your home. Watching someone who’s pretty great at what they do like Jamie Oliver can be really inspiring, which is a great place to start, as well.

                                      19. Give up feeling unsatisfied with your body

                                      19

                                        How dull our world would be if all people would look like if they were made according to some kind of pattern? The way you look is absolutely unique which makes it beautiful in its own way, and you shouldn’t spend one second being concerned about what the rest of the world thinks. It’s important to take good care of your body, exercise and nurture it – the rest is up to nature. A huge part of happiness is based on accepting yourself exactly the way you are. If you don’t, why should anyone else?

                                        20. Give up worrying about money

                                        Advertising

                                        20

                                          Money is probably your main source of stress. People are too worried about having enough money so that they can have pretty things, but while you’re doing that, your life is passing you buy. Starting now, you should look at money like if it were a task you need to complete in your office – do what needs to be done and leave it behind you. Managing money is something you learn, it’s practically a skill you develop, so if you have no previous experience except the one you were imposed to, you should read up more on the subject. Your life will be significantly easier and much happier when you learn to handle money. I truly hope you’ll find my article inspiring! Giving up all these things will surely make your life filled with happiness, so you should definitely consider giving them a shot. Let me know how it goes!

                                          Featured photo credit: Hipster by camper van at festival on a summers day via shutterstock.com

                                          More by this author

                                          Being Asked a Tricky Interview Question? Give These Skillful Responses to Earn Extra Time 6 Useful Gadgets Every Proud Workaholic Should Own How Not to Get Ripped Off When Buying Your First Car How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy When Things Get Serious: How to Go from “Single” to “In a Relationship”

                                          Trending in Communication

                                          1 Is Living Together Before Marriage Good or Bad? 2 How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication 3 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 4 I Hate My Wife – Why a Husband Would Resent His Spouse 5 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                          Read Next

                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising

                                          Published on May 18, 2021

                                          How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

                                          How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

                                          We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

                                          The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

                                          Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

                                          Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

                                          Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

                                          There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

                                          Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

                                          Advertising

                                          Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

                                          We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

                                          Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

                                          A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

                                          The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

                                          Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

                                          Advertising

                                          Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

                                          Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

                                          Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

                                          While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

                                          Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

                                          These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

                                          Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

                                          Advertising

                                          Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

                                          Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

                                          Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

                                          Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

                                          Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

                                          Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

                                          As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

                                          Advertising

                                          This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

                                          Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

                                          Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

                                          These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

                                          Actions Speak Louder Than Words

                                          Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

                                          Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

                                          Advertising

                                          Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

                                          More Tips Improving Listening Skills

                                          Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

                                          Read Next