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18 Reasons Why Simple Boyfriends Are The Best

18 Reasons Why Simple Boyfriends Are The Best

I am always amused when I see a “relationship status” on Facebook that says, “It’s complicated.” What exactly does that mean? He cheated and I may not take him back? We broke up but maybe we’ll get back together? He’s married but maybe he’ll get a divorce? With all of the complications in life, why would any female choose a complicated relationship?

I’ve had many, and they were not enjoyable. What I came to learn is that the long-lasting relationship involves a very “simple” boyfriend – one who takes all of the drama and uncertainty out of that aspect of my life. So, here’s to the simple boyfriend and 18 things that he brings to a relationship!

1. He is honest

When you have fixed your grandma’s famous pork chops for a special dinner, he tells you that pork is his least favorite meat. He’ll then give you a big hug and say that he will eat them anyway, because he loves you.

2. He is trustworthy

When he says he can’t meet you because he has to work late, he calls later from work, just to say “hi.” A knock on your door at 10:00 pm – there he stands with flowers and a bottle of wine to share.

3. He is even-tempered

While you are freaking out over a situation at work or some personal family crisis, he holds you tightly, soothes you with a great shoulder rub, and tells you that everything will be okay. If plans for a weekend getaway go awry because you have a paper or a work project due, he will bring over your favorite take-out and offer to help.

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4. He is not possessive

When you haven’t seen your girl friends for a while, he encourages you to take that trip with them and offers to “dog-sit” while you are gone. You then come home to an immaculately clean apartment with a “Welcome Back” gift on your kitchen table.

5. He is flexible

You have to cancel a date to a concert because of a nasty cold. He goes to the concert venue, sells the tickets, and arrives at the door with your favorite take-out and a movie.

6. He is unselfish

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    He thinks of you at least as much as he thinks of himself. If you don’t want to see a particular movie, that’s fine with him – he will let you pick an alternative. If you’re too tired to get all primped up to go to that party, he’ll stay home with you and watch TV instead.

    7. He is not jealous

    One of your best male friends from high school is in town, and you want to meet him for dinner. The simple boyfriend gives you a big hug and tells you to have a good time.  Simple boyfriends are self-confident enough to understand that everyone has friends of both sexes without any romantic or “flirty” motives.

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    8. He likes himself

    This is so important. When a boyfriend is “comfortable in his own skin,” he does not have to pretend to have or to be something else. He doesn’t have to be a “player” or try to impress you or anyone else. It’s so refreshing! When the two of you are out with your work friends, he readily admits that he knows very little about the work you all do. Later, he tells you how much he respects what you and your fellow workers do, even though he may never fully understand the challenges and the responsibilities.

    9. He won’t ask you to change

    Not your hair, not your make-up, not your dress, not your habits, not your laugh, nor your weight and not your beliefs and principles. He will never worry if you ate some extra cookies and that you love going to the gym mainly because your personal trainer is super hot (see point 7). He understands that everyone has their own quirks, style, and values, and he accepts them with love.

    My current boyfriend never asks me to buy new clothing that is more in keeping with his “crowd” (despite the fact that I am a modest, plain dresser), nor does he request that I “tone down” my heated discussions with his friends and family members. Instead, he celebrates my individuality by telling me often that he loves who I am, just as I am. I once had a boyfriend who was on the school board of a district in which I was a teacher. When we decided to go on strike, and I was painting signs in my garage, he arrived for dinner and helped me finish up the painting! No, he didn’t support the strike, but he supported my right to disagree!

     10. He is not concerned with “appearances”

    When you choose a particularly “outspoken” mode of dress, and you are on your way to a party of his friends, he will honor your individuality, stay by your side and proudly introduce you to other guests. When you have not had time to “do” your hair, and choose a pony tail instead, he will tell you that he loves your hair like that!

    11. He accepts your friends and family

    No one has a perfect set of friends or family members. I have had a friend for over 10 years, whom I love dearly, but she has some very annoying personality aspects. For one thing, she talks incessantly and hops from one topic to the next, barely taking a breath. But she is my friend and has always “been there” for me. A few boyfriends I have had refused to be around her and wanted me to severely curtail my times with her. My current boyfriend may joke about her privately, but he is kind, gracious and “puts up” with her whenever we are all together (with a smile, I might add).

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    12. He has your back

    Simple boyfriends will not deliberately put you in uncomfortable situations or will extricate you if they have. And if your plane has been delayed two hours, he will not tell you to take cab because your arrival is just too late. He will be there with a silly “welcome home” sign. And he will not allow friends or family members to be rude or discourteous to you. In short, he is loyal.

    13. He doesn’t like drama

    Simple boyfriends do not create drama, nor do they participate in it. While drama may be exciting and stimulating to some, it is a sign of immaturity, and immature boyfriends do not make for lasting relationships. When your friends are in an uproar about a cheating husband or wife and an impending divorce, he will calmly listen to your “rants” and honor your feelings, but he will not take sides and insert himself into the drama. He is your “steady Eddie,” helping you to gain the perspective you need.

    14. He is patient

    If you are not ready for physical intimacy or for the two of you to move in together, he will not push you or try to “guilt” you into something with which you are not comfortable. Patience extends to smaller matters too, like not freaking out because you are going to be 30 minutes late. If you are late for a dinner date, he will welcome you with open arms, just glad that you could make it at all!

    15. He doesn’t play games

    The “bad boy” types tend to be game players. They may give you a “rush” at first, go AWOL for a time, come back into your life, etc. They are unreliable and will never participate in a solid relationship. The simple boyfriend is steady and thinks playing games is immature – and it is. If an old girlfriend needs his help to get out of an abusive relationship, he will explain the situation to you, describe what he will be doing to help, and will keep you “in the loop” the entire time. When he returns, he will shower you with love and appreciation for your understanding and willingness to support him.

    16. He likes simple activities as long as they are with you

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      The simple boyfriend will be happy to take walks with your dog, to have a lazy day of reading, to grocery shop with you, or to go to the laundromat. His happiness comes from being with you, and he states this regularly. He will offer to run errands for you or to help you clean your apartment, with a smile on his face and a lot of cuddling when the tasks are completed.

      17. He sees his girlfriend as his best friend too

      The simple boyfriend wants to be a friend just as much as he wants to be a lover. Beware of the boyfriend who does not honestly confide in you and ask you to confide in him. This is not a permanent partner. When your simple boyfriend, on the other hand, hears that you are having a difficult time with your ex-husband over child support or visitation, he will want to hear about it, to help you consider options, and to support the decision you ultimately make.

      18. He won’t degrade you

      The need to call you names and to criticize you is a form of emotional abuse and comes from two sources – low self-esteem and the need to exert power. Simple boyfriends lift you up! If you are having a bad hair day, or a sudden outbreak of acne, he will tell you how beautiful you are in his eyes. If you have inadvertently insulted one of his friends, he will re-confirm his love for you by intervening to repair any “damage.”

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      Elena Prokopets

      Freelance Writer

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      Last Updated on April 11, 2019

      How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

      How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

      Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

      I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

      I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

      Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

      How Communication Skills Help Your Success

      Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

      Create a Positive Experience

      Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

      When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

      What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

      Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

      As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

      Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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      Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

      Help Leadership Skills

      It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

      Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

      As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

      Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

      If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

      Build Better Teams

      Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

      In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

      If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

      When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

      Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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      How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

      There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

      Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

      1. Listen

      Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

      Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

      People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

      Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

      Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

      2. Know Your Audience

      Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

      Here is a good way to think about it:

      Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

      You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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      3. Minimize

      I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

      He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

      Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

      State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

      The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

      4. Over Communicate

      So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

      What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

      Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

      Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

      Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

      There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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      5. Body Language

      The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

      When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

      In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

      When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

      Conclusion

      Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

      Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

      There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

      Now go communicate your way to success.

      More Resources About Effective Communication

      Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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