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15 Types Of People You Should Meet In Your 20s

15 Types Of People You Should Meet In Your 20s

The people you meet always add something to your life, be it negative or positive. Regardless of the type of impact they leave, you always learn a valuable lesson from their presence. Below are the different types of people you have to meet in your 20s to help shape you into the person you want to be.

1. The Giver

This person has dedicated their whole life to the simple art of giving. Be it giving a homeless person loose change or their time to an animal shelter, they are always giving. Being around this giving nature will unintentionally motivate you to give more of yourself too.

2. The Adventurer

The Adventurer is always going somewhere and always doing something unbelievably exciting. Although you may not always be up for everything they are up to, simply being around them when they do thrilling things will inspire you to break out of your comfort zone and do things you never would normally do. This person will push you to travel the world, which is what everybody in their twenties has to do at some point.

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3. The Helper

This person is always willing to help no matter what their situation is. Whether it’s you in trouble or someone else, this person is always ready to help. Being around this person drives you to be more aware of people who are in need of help and extend your hand more than you usually would.

4. The Complainer

For this person, nothing is ever good enough. Nothing can ever meet their standards. When you are around them, all you ever hear is them complaining about something or the other. Although this may not be the healthiest environment, it helps you reflect on your views in life and makes you appreciate things more. Being around the complainer actually makes you complain less.

5. The Risk-taker

This person is constantly taking risks in their relationships or even in their workplace. They always seem to place everything on the line, which may not always work out well. Seeing them being extremely brave with their choices motivates you to be the same way. Even if you don’t become an extreme risk taker, you end up pushing yourself to be more risky than you usually would.

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6. The Free-spirit

The Free-spirit has no ties to anything or anyone. They are constantly changing jobs and moving from one relationship to the next. They constantly move houses and sometimes countries.You may find it very hard to keep track of where this person is or what they are doing. Their freedom reminds you to not take life so seriously. They remind you how transient things can be, which helps you enjoy moments in life more.

7. The Stable One

The complete opposite of the Free-spirit, the Stable One has their life in order. They have the standard nine to five job with the very stable relationship and a lease contract valid for more than a year. These people weren’t always this stable. In fact, they probably were messes a couple of years ago. Being around them reminds you that it’s possible to gain stability even if it seems like your life is a mess. After meeting them, you know that things will get better with time.

8. The Bossy One

The Bossy One feels the need to take charge in every situation, which can get incredibly irritating at times. The Bossy One shows you how important taking charge is but also when you need to take a step back.

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9. The Honest One

This person will tell you to the truth no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you are in tears, you know you’ll hear the honest answer to whatever question you just asked. Their blunt attitude towards life keeps you on track and reminds you how important the truth really is.

10. The Optimist

The Optimist always puts a positive spin on whatever situation they are in. Their blind positive attitude may be irritating at times, but it reminds you that you should always look on the bright side no matter what obstacles cross your path.

11. The Pessimist

The Pessimist prevents you from floating away on The Optimist’s cloud of positivity. They keep you grounded by reminding you of all the things that could go wrong. Their constant negative attitude on life keeps you in touch with reality, but also makes sure you maintain a balance between being a realist and an idealist.

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12. The Married One

This person has found the love of their life and has made the ultimate commitment. Knowing someone like this helps you figure out what you want, while subtly stressing the existence of love and it’s importance.

13. The Manipulative One

Everyone has to meet The Manipulative One at some point in their lives. This person manages to get what they want by using you as the pawn. After you realise how you’ve been manipulated, you learn to be more cautious in life. The Manipulative One teaches you to be stronger than you thought you could be.

14. The Backstabber

When you meet this person, you will trust them with everything only to have them use it against you. It’s important you meet someone like this to remind you that being trusting is the best quality you can have while betraying trust is the worst.

15. The Wise One

This person has a quote stored in their minds that applies to almost any situation you find yourself in. They are like a walking self-help book. They also have the best advice when you find yourself stuck. Being around The Wise One allows the wisdom to rub off on you as well.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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