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15 Things People Who’ve Just Broken Up Hate Hearing The Most

15 Things People Who’ve Just Broken Up Hate Hearing The Most

It is hurting to experience a break up. For some it can be devastating. However there is a healing process to every loss. Most times the best way is to deal with the pain and move on. Through this sensitive period a broken up person needs the concern and consideration of friends and family, and trust me there are certain things they wouldn’t love to hear.

1. Life is hard

This makes the subject seem to be another unfair victim in the cycle of life. Shooting them such words doesn’t serve as a succor but a shot at bringing them to how painful the present situation should be for them. Rather saying something like, “there is a way out of this,” will help them heal better.

2. You made a mistake all along

Singling out the subject and wanting to make them appear stupid doesn’t structure the situation in a green, but a red light. We all do make mistakes, some even get away with their heads high, so why should he or she seem like the most ideal candidate for a break up.

3. You have always being poor at relationships

At a time when he or she is mourning something that would have appeared perfect, listening to a crucifying statement will only make them feel less worthy. Try to build their morale by telling them, “you haven’t met the perfect person yet.”

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4. You can still be friends

No one wants to be friends with someone who has just bruised their emotions. I don’t, and I know every other person neither. Please don’t let a broken heart hear this.

5. You need some time to heal

As if he or she was going through a terminal illness or some devastating disease. The injury of being hurt shouldn’t be aggravated. Of course time will heal the pain but you don’t need her or him to hear this.

6. I am sure they will regret this

That is hitting on a soft spot. You don’t know how much or how deep your friend still feels for their ex. Besides who knows if there will be a reunion. Never cancel out possibilities.

7. You are too emotional

This has a lot of red connotations with it. Of course, it takes some emotions to lose someone you have always cared about. Why make them seem less human.

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8. You should have known

Apparently this should mean that he or she should have been a fortune teller or something. No one in a relationship knows how pleasant or unpleasant a relationship will become. Of course they would never have known. Only things that will help them see the bright side of moving on should be heard.

8. Life goes on

Now this is too painful a thing to hear because you are making it clear that they would move on and could have another break up and will move on. No one wants to always meet break ups. Something soothing like, “at least hanging out on Friday night will be more fun” is better.

9. How long will you keep crying?

Please treat a broken heart with respect. Don’t limit or set anymore boundary. They would love to be more expressive at this point.

10. Cheer up

This sounds like a cliché. As if cheering up is a tablet to healing the pain. Of course the effect of such wouldn’t be as sweet. Understanding the situation would be more ideal than saying anything awful.

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11. Such is life

This sounds poetic. As if life wants to deal a big blow on lovers and broken hearts. It is better to have them hear something considerate.

12. You will receive a call soon

This doesn’t sound nice because it will make them expectant for something that may never happen. False hope raising expectations is not something any broken heart will love to hear.

13. You are a strong person, you will be fine

How can this be ascertained? It is mockery to a broken heart. No one is not emotional or doesn’t show signs of being human at some broken point.

14. You have to deal with it

As if there was some hammer or weapon for that. Hearing this hits a wrong nail into the wall. Make a broken-heart realize they have been through a lot rather than reminding them that being a super-human would be more ideal.

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15. Other people are far worse off than you are

Is this considerate at all, as if there is a race to become a better broken heart? These words show some comparative test. It is best to find a sentence to show that they can be weak at times.

When dealing with a broken heart it is best to show your actions rather than say too much. As a broken person, we would love to hear your deepest concern rather than taunt us for our terrible situation.

Featured photo credit: sad girl in a cafe via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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