Advertising
Advertising

15 Things Only Lovebirds Who Are Truly In Love Understand

15 Things Only Lovebirds Who Are Truly In Love Understand

Falling in love can be like going to the gym for the first time. It can hurt like hell, but it still feels great – like you’ve accomplished something. Of course, there are some other aspects of being in love that will give you a lot of “exercise” too, but this isn’t that kind of article. We all know about the supposed cliches of being in love – the things we hear about in songs and books and see acted out in romantic comedies.

If you’re, perhaps, a cynical single guy, you might be forced to listen to a buddy as he goes on and on about his new lady love, while you sit there with a polite and yet pained smile on your face. You just need to wait until the honeymoon period is over, and then your friend will remember that there are more than seven billion people on the earth other than his girlfriend, and she’ll stop finding his fart jokes funny. Until then, you just have to accept that there are things only lovebirds who are truly in love will understand… and when they try to explain it to you, it’s best to just smile and nod.

1. They Want to Demonstrate Their Togetherness

Damn you, Social Media! Before everyone had a camera on their phone, it was easy to avoid having to look at countless photos of couples doing couple things. Nowadays it’s unavoidable and your Facebook feed might be dominated by photos of your friends and their girlfriends eating at a cafe. Or sitting on a beach. Or whatever other 1000 things they did on the weekend.

Advertising

2. They Know Love Songs to Be True

Sappy love songs that were kind of lame when single suddenly take on special meaning when in love – they become true. Yes, Aerosmith – I don’t wanna miss a thing! Yes, Belinda Carlisle – Heaven IS a place on Earth. Yes, Britney Spears – I WILL hit you one more time.

3. They Smile Strangely When Talking About Each Other

When your friend talks about his girlfriend, a weird, contented, distracted look comes over his face – in fact, he kind of smiles like an idiot. Is he drunk? No, no… he’s just in love.

4. Their Idea of Fun Changes

“Hey, want to come out tonight? We’re doing tequila shooters at my place, then heading to a strip bar, followed by an illegal warehouse party.” “No thanks, we’re staying in tonight, cooking pasta and listening to Celine Dion. Because we’re in love.”

Advertising

5. They Like Romantic Comedies – and Kind Of Take Them Seriously

Never watch a romantic comedy with a couple in love. They’ll annoy the hell out of you with their statements such as, “We do that!” or “That’s totally us!” while you sit there, trying not to roll your eyes. Hugh Grant is a God to those in love, but to the rest of us, he’s an actor who was arrested with a prostitute in the back of his BMW.

6. They Can’t Stop Mentioning Each Other

Your friend will reference his girlfriend no matter how weak the connection is. You might be talking about UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon, and he’ll say, “Oh… that reminds me of Susan. She has two arms, two legs and needs oxygen too.”

7. They Become Anxious When Separated

People in love tend to weird out if they have to go more than a few hours without each other. It’s like a dog that freaks out when being left home alone and has to destroy the furniture as a stress release. So never leave your in love friend alone in your apartment!

Advertising

8. They Forget to Eat

When eating dinner with a buddy it’s not uncommon for them to say they forgot to eat breakfast or lunch because they were too busy with their girlfriend. It’s almost enough to make you lose your breakfast and lunch.

9. They Want You to Date Too

Both your buddy and his girlfriend will start sharing their ultimate dating tips for men with you because they just want you to experience the happiness they’re feeling with your own special someone. It doesn’t matter who it is – that woman from work, that woman with a limp who works at the supermarket, that pole dancer you met last weekend – they want you to date  and fall in love with someone, anyone!

10. They Can’t Do Anything Without Thinking of The Other Person

If you invite him for a beer, he can’t commit until he knows if his girlfriend wants to come too. If you invited him to a proctology exam, he would only do it if she came, and watched. He’s no longer an “I,” he’s a “We.”

Advertising

11. They Get Jealous Really Easily

He will pretend he’s not, but your buddy will get jealous if his girlfriend spends too much time with her friends, colleagues after work, her sofa. This is all time that could have been spent with him!

12. They Talk About What Their Children Would Look Like

They talk about children and say they’re not serious although the topic keeps popping up. You can’t help but think that your buddy has lost three phones in the last year, so he might have problems keeping track of a kid

13. The Don’t Understand Why You’re Not as Upbeat as Them

To people in love, the whole world is awesome and a place of beauty (it won’t last), and they can’t understand why you’re not as high on life as they are. Maybe because you watch the news instead of falling straight into bed as soon as you get home?

14. They Express Regret About Their Former Sex Partners

“Oh my God – I never knew how good sex could be when you’re truly in love with someone. Sex with all those other girls meant nothing! You HAVE to be in love to truly enjoy sex.” Thanks for the advice buddy, but I’m sure I can still enjoy sex while waiting for The One.

15. They Fall Apart When It’s Over

When they fall out of love, life no longer has any meaning, and all the songs, Hugh Grant movies and act of eating a meal just remind them of their lost love. They don’t know how they’ll carry on with life, but you know what? They will. It will take time, and your friendship, but they will. Vodka is also helpful.

More by this author

15 Things Only Lovebirds Who Are Truly In Love Understand 15 Brilliant Benefits And Uses Of Lemon You Need To Know You Can Live Your Passion In A Way Most People Can’t 40 Inspirational Quotes Every Graduate Student Should Know

Trending in Communication

1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 3 7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 7 Practical Ways to Change Your Thinking and Change Your Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

Advertising

How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

Advertising

A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

Advertising

Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

Advertising

How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

Read Next