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15 Things Genuine People Don’t Do

15 Things Genuine People Don’t Do

No one likes to be around a fake. We like our friends to be who they are without acting and presenting a false persona, yet it is difficult to find original people in an age where social media rules. Everyone seems to be creating their best snapshots and best descriptions on Facebook and online dating websites. How can we tell if you are genuine? Here are 15 things genuine people don’t do.

1. They don’t boast about their achievements

They are quite aware of their abilities and strengths, and are not boastful about them. They focus on being humble and sincere rather than impressing with their accolades.

2. They don’t need a lot of possessions to be happy

Genuine people don’t need to be validated based on what they own; they are comfortable with who they are. They know that they don’t need a lot of external things to be happy. Since happiness can be found from within, their work, and loved ones, they find happiness in the simple things life has to offer them.

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3. They don’t display inconsistency

Since they are very much in touch with who they are, they are predictable. You always know what they will stand for or what their response will be if their character is being tested.

4. They don’t hold back from offering praise

They’ll never avoid giving compliments to those who deserve it. They don’t need to fake their praise, but will offer it from their hearts to those deserving of such recognition.

5. They don’t practice something they don’t preach

Any given advice is on a subject is something they would do if they were in the same situation. They don’t need to feel better than anyone else. If they can’t do something, they don’t suggest it.

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6. They don’t rely on talk over actions

They understand that talk is cheap, so they are willing to let their actions do the talking. Evidence of doing trumps empty boasting.

7. They don’t pretend to understand what they do not know

Genuine people understand that they have so much to learn. If they don’t know something, instead of lying and claiming understanding, they prefer to learn it by listening and absorbing.

8. They don’t belittle others

They lead by example and have no superiority complex. Instead of belittling others they would rather try to make them better.

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9. They don’t follow the pack

Rather than conforming, they carve their own paths. It is better to be original and follow their true passion rather than be a victim of the conventional approach or thoughts.

10. They don’t fake who they are

If they have made a mistake they would openly admit to it. They are not fake but transparent about their standards, principles and who they are. Rather than make you ask if they are hiding something, they are up front with you about their standards.

11. They don’t take themselves too seriously

They know that they are human and don’t need to build defensive walls of perfection around themselves to hide or minimize their weaknesses. They are able to admit to their failures and accept constructive criticism without allowing letting it damage their self-esteem.

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12. They don’t seek attention

Rather than use their successes or accomplishments as a channel to seek attention, they are already filled with self-awareness and self confidence. They don’t have a hole to be filled from constant validation of their ego.

13. They don’t suppress their opinions, beliefs and thoughts

They are always glad to tell the world what they know. They have taken the time to ponder their opinions on life and carefully considered the knowledge that has taken them to where they are, so they are able to share their “authentic self” to the world.

14. They aren’t easily fooled by flatterers and liars

While others can be easily fooled, they are not. They know when others are full of it. Rather than looking at issues on the surface, they focus on reality and know when things don’t add up.

15. They don’t speak more than they listen

Genuine people don’t use bragging as a mask to hide their insecurity. They already have an opinion, yet they want to know what you think. Rather than speaking more than they listen, they ask open ended questions so as to let others share their thoughts.

Featured photo credit: Portrait of cheerful beautiful fashionable woman in a hat and coat via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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