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15 Things Genuine People Don’t Do

15 Things Genuine People Don’t Do

No one likes to be around a fake. We like our friends to be who they are without acting and presenting a false persona, yet it is difficult to find original people in an age where social media rules. Everyone seems to be creating their best snapshots and best descriptions on Facebook and online dating websites. How can we tell if you are genuine? Here are 15 things genuine people don’t do.

1. They don’t boast about their achievements

They are quite aware of their abilities and strengths, and are not boastful about them. They focus on being humble and sincere rather than impressing with their accolades.

2. They don’t need a lot of possessions to be happy

Genuine people don’t need to be validated based on what they own; they are comfortable with who they are. They know that they don’t need a lot of external things to be happy. Since happiness can be found from within, their work, and loved ones, they find happiness in the simple things life has to offer them.

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3. They don’t display inconsistency

Since they are very much in touch with who they are, they are predictable. You always know what they will stand for or what their response will be if their character is being tested.

4. They don’t hold back from offering praise

They’ll never avoid giving compliments to those who deserve it. They don’t need to fake their praise, but will offer it from their hearts to those deserving of such recognition.

5. They don’t practice something they don’t preach

Any given advice is on a subject is something they would do if they were in the same situation. They don’t need to feel better than anyone else. If they can’t do something, they don’t suggest it.

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6. They don’t rely on talk over actions

They understand that talk is cheap, so they are willing to let their actions do the talking. Evidence of doing trumps empty boasting.

7. They don’t pretend to understand what they do not know

Genuine people understand that they have so much to learn. If they don’t know something, instead of lying and claiming understanding, they prefer to learn it by listening and absorbing.

8. They don’t belittle others

They lead by example and have no superiority complex. Instead of belittling others they would rather try to make them better.

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9. They don’t follow the pack

Rather than conforming, they carve their own paths. It is better to be original and follow their true passion rather than be a victim of the conventional approach or thoughts.

10. They don’t fake who they are

If they have made a mistake they would openly admit to it. They are not fake but transparent about their standards, principles and who they are. Rather than make you ask if they are hiding something, they are up front with you about their standards.

11. They don’t take themselves too seriously

They know that they are human and don’t need to build defensive walls of perfection around themselves to hide or minimize their weaknesses. They are able to admit to their failures and accept constructive criticism without allowing letting it damage their self-esteem.

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12. They don’t seek attention

Rather than use their successes or accomplishments as a channel to seek attention, they are already filled with self-awareness and self confidence. They don’t have a hole to be filled from constant validation of their ego.

13. They don’t suppress their opinions, beliefs and thoughts

They are always glad to tell the world what they know. They have taken the time to ponder their opinions on life and carefully considered the knowledge that has taken them to where they are, so they are able to share their “authentic self” to the world.

14. They aren’t easily fooled by flatterers and liars

While others can be easily fooled, they are not. They know when others are full of it. Rather than looking at issues on the surface, they focus on reality and know when things don’t add up.

15. They don’t speak more than they listen

Genuine people don’t use bragging as a mask to hide their insecurity. They already have an opinion, yet they want to know what you think. Rather than speaking more than they listen, they ask open ended questions so as to let others share their thoughts.

Featured photo credit: Portrait of cheerful beautiful fashionable woman in a hat and coat via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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