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15 Signs You’re Going to Have a Great Partner Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

15 Signs You’re Going to Have a Great Partner Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

It’s the holiday season, a time when singletons either:

a) Drop not-so-subtle commitment hints to people they are only lukewarm about, b) Scowl at the overtly-cheesy nature of jewelry ads, or c) Something in between.

If the shorter days and colder nights are making you feel you’ll be alone forever, don’t despair! Whether or not you have prospects on the horizon, there are 15 signs that you are going to meet a kickass partner based on who you are, what you do, and what you don’t do. It takes a great partner to meet a great partner.

Do you have what it takes? Read on to find out:

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1. You are adult-ish.

Being an adult doesn’t mean you have all your shit together. Far from it! It means you’re responsible for your life. Whether that be paying your bills or saying you’re sorry, you can take personal responsibility. You are able to reflect on the past and take action toward your future. It also helps if you haven’t killed all of your houseplants (yet).

2. You know what you want in a partner.

Sounds obvious, but people who have a fuzzy sense of what they want only get a fuzzy version of that they want. You don’t just think, “I want a partner who is intelligent.” You know what you want that intelligence to look like. “I want a partner who reads about topics he cares about, is on top of current events, and has enough spatial awareness to help me build Ikea furniture.” You know that when you define it, you’ll find it.

3. You’re the right kind of selfish.

You love yourself and prioritize your self-care. It’s a myth that we need to place our partners over ourselves. If you run yourself into the ground taking care of everyone but yourself, you’re likely to get resentful, drained, and pissy. Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s the reason you’ll attract the right person in the first place. So go ahead, get a little selfish!

4. You know yourself.

You know what lights you up. You know what pisses you off. You know that soy milk makes you queasy. Why does this matter? People with self-awareness are more likely to identify the right partner, get their needs met, and find happiness in a relationship.

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5. You aren’t looking for anyone to fix you.

You have priorities, goals, and hobbies. Whether you enjoy cooking or collecting comic books, taking dance classes or taking over the world, you have a life that’s your own. You aren’t waiting around to get “saved.” You aren’t expecting someone to fix you because you know you’re not broken.

6. You aren’t trying to fix anyone.

It’s a fact: You have baggage and so will your partner. And while it would be great to change people’s annoying habits, you know how to accept people for who they are rather than who you want them to be. Your ability to compromise or cut ties will not only bring the right person in, it’ll help you to weed out the wrong one.

7. You are emotionally and physically available.

This one is huge. You’ve created space in your life for a partner. No, that doesn’t mean a drawer in your dresser. It means you are able and willing to give and receive love. You’re prepared to close one door before you open another. Bluntly put, you’re willing to stop sleeping around and commit. People who are good partners are the ones who actually want to be in a relationship.

8. You’re a good listener.

You can take in what your friend says without simultaneously contemplating your rebuttal. You can muster the self-control to not interrupt your mother mid-sentence. This goes well beyond being able to listen to others to include actually being present. Ultimately, if you can go to lunch with a friend without incessantly checking Facebook, you’re already better than most!

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9. You communicate productively.

There’s a big difference between communication and productive communication. You state how you feel without playing games or being passive-aggressive. You say what you want instead of what you don’t want. You know that saying “I’d like for us to visit my parents for the holidays,” yields better results than “I really don’t want to spend another Christmas with your crazy mother.”

10. You’re okay with being flawed (even if you don’t like it).

You get that as much as we might try, we can’t always act and look perfect all the time. You’re willing to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and occasionally look like an idiot. You accept that being yourself and receiving love yields a better outcome than being someone else and walking on eggshells.

11. You know the meaning of equality.

You know that fair isn’t always tit for tat. 50/50 in a relationship doesn’t mean you split the bill. It means that you’re willing to let things average out over the course of the relationship. You’re likely to find a great partner if you’re cool with saying “I’ll pay this time, you get the next.”

12. You like to win, but it won’t be WWIII if you don’t.

Whether it’s leaving the last slice or sucking it up and asking for directions, you don’t think you need to prove yourself at everything. Wow! You’re ahead of the game.

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13. Your conflict style doesn’t involve bloodshed.

When you fight with people, you fight to fix instead of fighting to win. You get that finding a resolution is better than a power play or opportunity for payback (despite how good you think it might feel).

14. You know how to apologize.

You might not like apologizing, but you can do it. You don’t make excuses or try to cajole others into taking responsibility for your issues. You own it sincerely without making excuses. You then learn from it. And the flipside is also true: you can forgive others when you receive an apology.

15. You cultivate gratitude.

You say thank you. You are appreciative of all that you have, all that you are, and all others do for you. Nobody wants a partner who takes them for granted.

So kick back and relax. You’re awesome and on your way to finding someone as equally awesome as you are. And being single for the holidays has plenty of perks. You won’t have to fake a smile when his mother gives you the ugliest sweater known to humanity. Again.

Featured photo credit: Young beautiful couple outdoor sensual portrait. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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