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15 Signs The Man You’re With Is A Great Guy

15 Signs The Man You’re With Is A Great Guy

You don’t need anyone to tell you how important it is to read between the lines and pick up on all those subtle signs that say the person you’re with is a good guy. But, how do you really know he’s a keeper? Should you take things with him to the next level? Maybe even to marriage? Here are15 tell-tale signs that indicate your man is a great guy and you should probably hold on to him with everything you’ve got.

1. He is your biggest fan (arguably at par with your mom). 

You are a priority in his life and he’s always looking out for you. He supports you and your dreams, encourages you when you are feeling down, and uplifts and keeps you focused on the positive side of life. He is just there for you.

2. He initiates and holds intellectually stimulating conversations with you.

That’s because he doesn’t like gossip or mediocre, empty rhetoric like who’s wearing what and where. Instead, he initiates meaningful conversations that stimulate your mind, such as new ways to look at a situation or make an impact in your own and other people’s lives.

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3. He listens to you. 

He’s actually your go-to person whenever you want to talk to someone or just share an experience you’ve had, such as an experience about work, about a feeling, about anything. You used to call your friend(s), now you don’t feel the need quite as much because you are satisfied after you talk to him.

4. He lets you vent. 

Sometimes you just want to voice your anger and or frustrations and have someone there with you who understands where we are coming from. A great guy is patient and stays put with you as you vent without getting annoyed or upset. The only thing that upsets him is that you are frustrated and he wishes you were not.

5. He speaks his mind – and does so coolly, calmly and respectively. 

You see, a great guy has got high self confidence. He knows his own self-worth and doesn’t agree to everything you say. He has a mind of his own and is more than happy to let you have it. However, he speaks his mind in a cool, calm, collected and respectful manner.

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6. He admits he’s wrong when he’s wrong. 

It’s not in him to shift blame or try to maneuver out of a situation when he knows he’s clearly on the wrong. He simply admits when he’s wrong, apologies when the situation calls for it and tries to make amends. He knows to err is human and mistakes are learning opportunities that help you do things in a better way next time. There’s no shame in that.

7. He is passionate about his job and more than capable of motivating himself. 

This is not to say that a man who is not passionate about his job is a bad guy. But, a great guy has figured out what he wants in his life and does it passionately. If he’s stuck in a job he doesn’t like, he’s working towards getting where his heart really lies and motivates himself throughout each step of the way. In other words, he has something else besides you he is passionate about.

8. He takes care of himself – mind, body and soul.

It’s difficult to care for others, if you can’t even care for yourself. A great guy knows this and does what he must to keep himself in good shape, physically, emotionally and spiritually. He might workout to take care of his body, read books to take care of his mind and go to church or meditate to nourish his soul (or spirit). Whatever it is, he takes care of his whole self (mind, body and soul) and ensures he is a well-oiled machine inside and out.

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9. He surprises you with sweet words and/or acts of love every now and then. 

Although he’s always loving and kind to you, sometimes he does things that take you by surprise and leave you muttering, “Awww! That is so sweet, honey.” He might tell you, out of the blue, you are the most beautiful woman on the planet on a day that you didn’t even put on your makeup or make you breakfast-in-bed. Those seemingly little, unexpected acts of love tell you he truly cares and wants to make you happy.

10. He genuinely cares about your friends. 

Your friends know a thing or two about you that he doesn’t and they have helped you get through some difficult situations when he wasn’t around. So, yeah, he cares about your friends too. So much so, that he might asks how one of your friends he’s not heard about in a while is doing or even suggest you go spend time with that friend who’s having a bad day or sleep over at her place if she is going through a really tough time in her life.

11. He treats other people with kindness and respect.

How he treats other people (especially when no one is looking) is a sure sign of what kind of person he really is. If he treats people with respect and is kind and compassionate, he’s a catch. If he is dismissive, rude or even uninterested in the people around him, run! Any negative attitude and energy you notice will likely be directed at you when all the lovey-dovey feelings he has for you wane – and the feelings do wane naturally with time.

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12. He’s got his act together and doesn’t need you to babysit him. 

Everybody plays the cards they are dealt. Nobody is perfect. Great guys have their own issues too. He might go out clubbing with the boys and get drunk, but he will still get himself home safely. He doesn’t need you to watch him so he doesn’t do something stupid, carry him home after a drinking spree, or worse help him foot the bills because he is paying child support somewhere. He’s got all his stuff under control.

13. He is in good terms with your family, and has made sure you’ve met his.

It just makes sense to him that he should know and at least be civil with your parents and other family members, and for you to know and do likewise with his, including any siblings, grandparents, nieces and nephews. After all, you can’t quite know where you are going together unless you both know where you are coming from.  

14. He keeps his apartment neat and tidy. 

It doesn’t have to be sparkling clean, but his apartment is not a garbage dump. In fact, he doesn’t even have to have his own place, but any where he lives is clean, tidy and orderly. A neat and tidy house reflects positively on his character and mental state.

15. He doesn’t want to, but he is not afraid to lose you.

Yep, that’s a good thing because it means he is not needy or clingy. He’ll give you your space when you need it and allow you to pursue your own passions because he wants you to give him his space, as well. He’s a great guy!

Featured photo credit: StephenandMelanie via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

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Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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