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15 Signs The Man You’re With Is A Great Guy

15 Signs The Man You’re With Is A Great Guy

You don’t need anyone to tell you how important it is to read between the lines and pick up on all those subtle signs that say the person you’re with is a good guy. But, how do you really know he’s a keeper? Should you take things with him to the next level? Maybe even to marriage? Here are15 tell-tale signs that indicate your man is a great guy and you should probably hold on to him with everything you’ve got.

1. He is your biggest fan (arguably at par with your mom). 

You are a priority in his life and he’s always looking out for you. He supports you and your dreams, encourages you when you are feeling down, and uplifts and keeps you focused on the positive side of life. He is just there for you.

2. He initiates and holds intellectually stimulating conversations with you.

That’s because he doesn’t like gossip or mediocre, empty rhetoric like who’s wearing what and where. Instead, he initiates meaningful conversations that stimulate your mind, such as new ways to look at a situation or make an impact in your own and other people’s lives.

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3. He listens to you. 

He’s actually your go-to person whenever you want to talk to someone or just share an experience you’ve had, such as an experience about work, about a feeling, about anything. You used to call your friend(s), now you don’t feel the need quite as much because you are satisfied after you talk to him.

4. He lets you vent. 

Sometimes you just want to voice your anger and or frustrations and have someone there with you who understands where we are coming from. A great guy is patient and stays put with you as you vent without getting annoyed or upset. The only thing that upsets him is that you are frustrated and he wishes you were not.

5. He speaks his mind – and does so coolly, calmly and respectively. 

You see, a great guy has got high self confidence. He knows his own self-worth and doesn’t agree to everything you say. He has a mind of his own and is more than happy to let you have it. However, he speaks his mind in a cool, calm, collected and respectful manner.

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6. He admits he’s wrong when he’s wrong. 

It’s not in him to shift blame or try to maneuver out of a situation when he knows he’s clearly on the wrong. He simply admits when he’s wrong, apologies when the situation calls for it and tries to make amends. He knows to err is human and mistakes are learning opportunities that help you do things in a better way next time. There’s no shame in that.

7. He is passionate about his job and more than capable of motivating himself. 

This is not to say that a man who is not passionate about his job is a bad guy. But, a great guy has figured out what he wants in his life and does it passionately. If he’s stuck in a job he doesn’t like, he’s working towards getting where his heart really lies and motivates himself throughout each step of the way. In other words, he has something else besides you he is passionate about.

8. He takes care of himself – mind, body and soul.

It’s difficult to care for others, if you can’t even care for yourself. A great guy knows this and does what he must to keep himself in good shape, physically, emotionally and spiritually. He might workout to take care of his body, read books to take care of his mind and go to church or meditate to nourish his soul (or spirit). Whatever it is, he takes care of his whole self (mind, body and soul) and ensures he is a well-oiled machine inside and out.

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9. He surprises you with sweet words and/or acts of love every now and then. 

Although he’s always loving and kind to you, sometimes he does things that take you by surprise and leave you muttering, “Awww! That is so sweet, honey.” He might tell you, out of the blue, you are the most beautiful woman on the planet on a day that you didn’t even put on your makeup or make you breakfast-in-bed. Those seemingly little, unexpected acts of love tell you he truly cares and wants to make you happy.

10. He genuinely cares about your friends. 

Your friends know a thing or two about you that he doesn’t and they have helped you get through some difficult situations when he wasn’t around. So, yeah, he cares about your friends too. So much so, that he might asks how one of your friends he’s not heard about in a while is doing or even suggest you go spend time with that friend who’s having a bad day or sleep over at her place if she is going through a really tough time in her life.

11. He treats other people with kindness and respect.

How he treats other people (especially when no one is looking) is a sure sign of what kind of person he really is. If he treats people with respect and is kind and compassionate, he’s a catch. If he is dismissive, rude or even uninterested in the people around him, run! Any negative attitude and energy you notice will likely be directed at you when all the lovey-dovey feelings he has for you wane – and the feelings do wane naturally with time.

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12. He’s got his act together and doesn’t need you to babysit him. 

Everybody plays the cards they are dealt. Nobody is perfect. Great guys have their own issues too. He might go out clubbing with the boys and get drunk, but he will still get himself home safely. He doesn’t need you to watch him so he doesn’t do something stupid, carry him home after a drinking spree, or worse help him foot the bills because he is paying child support somewhere. He’s got all his stuff under control.

13. He is in good terms with your family, and has made sure you’ve met his.

It just makes sense to him that he should know and at least be civil with your parents and other family members, and for you to know and do likewise with his, including any siblings, grandparents, nieces and nephews. After all, you can’t quite know where you are going together unless you both know where you are coming from.  

14. He keeps his apartment neat and tidy. 

It doesn’t have to be sparkling clean, but his apartment is not a garbage dump. In fact, he doesn’t even have to have his own place, but any where he lives is clean, tidy and orderly. A neat and tidy house reflects positively on his character and mental state.

15. He doesn’t want to, but he is not afraid to lose you.

Yep, that’s a good thing because it means he is not needy or clingy. He’ll give you your space when you need it and allow you to pursue your own passions because he wants you to give him his space, as well. He’s a great guy!

Featured photo credit: StephenandMelanie via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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