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15 Signs That You Are Emotionally Intelligent

15 Signs That You Are Emotionally Intelligent

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t ruled by their thoughts; they are the master of them. Discover your emotional strength today with these 15 signs that you are emotionally intelligent.

1. You’re Fascinated by What Makes People Tick.

Emotionally intelligent people are fascinated by human behavior. They notice things like body language, dialect, and personal tics. Being a people-watcher helps them find clues about what makes each individual special.

2. You’re an Enthusiastic Leader Who Walks the Walk.

Emotionally intelligent people know it’s silly to talk the talk if they’re not willing to walk the walk. Instead of leading behind by delivering commands, they lead from the front by setting an example.

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3. You’re Aware of Your Strengths and Weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people know you’re not as weak as your weakest link; you are as strong as your strongest link. They use their greatest strengths as much as possible to make their weaknesses a moot point.

4. You’re at Peace with the Past.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t have time for regret. They drop their baggage and move forward into the present, because that’s where progress happens.

5. You’re Not Freaked Out About the Future.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t obsess with future events outside of their control. They are comfortable living in a world that doesn’t come with a crystal ball, because life is meant to be an exciting adventure (not a scripted routine).

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6. You’re Tuned in to the Present Moment.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t merely “get through” their hectic day. Instead, they actively experience the nuances of every single moment of every single day.

7. You’re a Skilled Active Listener.

Emotionally intelligent people know that “hearing” and “listening” are two different things. They re-phrase a person’s statements in the form of a question to make sure nothing got lost in translation.

8. You’re Capable of Figuring Out Why You’re Upset.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t let a chorus of negative self-talk take over their brain. They are detectives who explore their environment, searching for clues that reveal why they feel the way they do and (most importantly) what they can do to make it better.

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9. You’re Comfortable Talking with Friends and Strangers.

Emotionally intelligent people never met a stranger they didn’t like. They don’t care about a person’s age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation; they love everybody equally, because we’re all human here.

10. You’re Ethical in Business and Relationships.

Emotionally intelligent people follow their moral compass in business and life. Their values might differ from person to person, but high standards govern their behavior.

11. You’re Eager to Help People.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t need a reason to help others. They help elderly women with their grocery bags; offer to wash the dishes if a friend or partner prepared dinner; and hold doors open, not just for ladies, but gentlemen as well.

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12. You’re Able to Read People Like a Book.

Emotionally intelligent people can translate the meaning of gestures, expressions, and body-language. They know you can’t depend on language alone, because a person’s physical presence is often at odds with the words they express.

13. You’re Firm in Your Desire to Achieve.

Emotionally intelligent people strive for success, no matter how long it takes. They are willing to deal with setbacks and address shortcomings, because you don’t lose until you quit.

14. You’re Motivated for Reasons Inside of Yourself.

Emotionally intelligent people build motivation that lasts. They detach themselves from the end result and focus on enjoying the process. Personal development doesn’t happen at the moment of achievement, but during the growth process that leads to success.

15. You’re Willing to Say “No” When You Have To.

Emotionally intelligent people know there can be too much of a good thing. They know they can’t do everything, so they set priorities determined by what is most important to them.

Please post a comment with a number “score” to show us how emotionally intelligent you are!

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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