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15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

The middle child, the balancer, the keeper of peace, the glue that holds the family together… however you want to say it, their role is intrinsic to the health and well being of the family. Research shows that the middle child is always likeable.

1. They have a strong work ethic.

Middle children have some of the strongest work ethics out of anyone. It makes sense! From a young age, their role between the trailblazer oldest and rambunctious youngest make them hard workers. Nothing brand new has ever been given to them. They learn that things don’t come easy, and that you have to work for everything.

2. They are peace-keepers.

Middle children are caught in a very unique role between two strong personalities. Without them, order would be non-fluent and turmoil among sibling children would always exist. They dilute both the oldest and youngest’s personalities. They tend to be agreeable and look to please others in the family. This “with the grain” behavior is what makes them crucial to every family dynamic.

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3. They are independent.

No matter the circumstance, the middle child will rarely complain about being bored. The middle child know how to entertain themselves and more importantly, he is comfortable being alone. He doesn’t rely on others to provide all of his joy; he is completely content in findings things to do or just staying in and watching a move on a Saturday night.

4. They are extremely creative.

When it comes to being handy or just having a knack for design, a middle child knows whats best. They’re very introspective people, and with this comes a deep sense of right and wrong. She knows what she wants before she creates something; she rarely struggles to craft works of art from nothing. A blank canvas is seen as an opportunity in her eyes while it can be intimidating for the rest of us. If there is a way to improve design and function of a tool or device, it is almost guaranteed that a middle child came up with it.

5. They are easygoing.

Middle children know how to go with the flow. They don’t want to rock the boat or create conflict. This makes them some of the best companions on adventures. They won’t have their own agenda, they want to do whatever you want to do and they will enjoy it just the same. This is an extremely likeable treat, people want to include middle children in their plans.

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6. They are intelligent.

A middle child knows logic, and reasoning with great understanding. He is well read and knows what he is talking about. He can expand your mind with philosophy and teach you complex topics with ease. Also, think before you try to argue with a middle child, they know their stuff.

7. They know how to pick their battles.

Know exactly what you want to say before you argue with a middle child, they have a way of knowing what hill they want to die on. This can be surprising to what we know of the usual “go with the flow” attitude of the middle child. This is what is so great about middle children though, they don’t pick petty arguments, they don’t nit pick about everything. They are concise and calculated. If they are upset about something, then it is something serious. They know their reasons and they know how to deliver them.

8. They are reliable.

Middle children know the strife of being forgotten. They know the meaning of “ten minutes early is on time.” You can always count on a middle child to be there when you need them. They are never flaky and if you ask them to do something, you will never have to worry otherwise.

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9. They are resourceful.

If you need a problem solver, look no further than the middle child. They have grown up with hand-me-down toys and clothing. They know how to make things work in a pinch. This skill is innate to them, almost like breathing, they are rarely flustered with a difficult situation or circumstance.

10. They are negotiators.

Middle children know how to pick their battles but more importantly they know how to compromise. Growing up in a household where everything is shared teaches many great life lessons. At a young age, they always had to share their toys with their siblings. As they grow up, they know how to compromise and reach understandings. This is what makes them great members of any company or team.

11. They are selfless.

This is one of the most admirable traits of middle children. They know how to put others above themselves. They grew up in that kind of atmosphere, it’s innate to them. This makes them an extremely sought after mate. If you have the chance to make a middle child a part of your life then you are lucky.

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12. They are the bridge.

What does this mean? Ask a middle child this question. She will respond as such “I am closer to my older sibling than my older sibling is to my youngest sibling” and vice versa for youngest to oldest. This means she is the family bridge. She has common ground with both siblings but provides support for all siblings to interact and communicate. Her role is essential for family structure and dynamics.

13. They know right from wrong.

A middle child has a strong grasp of their own beliefs and value system. They grew up being the mediators. They see things as cut and dry. This can help them with many difficult life decisions. They know how to look at problems with logic and facts rather than emotion and hypotheticals.

14. They know how to listen.

This world is dominated by people who know how to talk but few that know how to listen. Middle children get the meaning of being a good listener. They are empathetic and can provide insight. Again, they know how to solve problems because they know to listen first before opening their mouths. If you have a problem, consult the middle child.

15. They are competitors.

This makes sense. Middle children have grown up having to compete over everything. This only makes sense that this will transcend over to their sporting lives. Many great athletes are middle children. Given an unparalleled work ethic, the middle child knows how to win something through sheer will power.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise on balcony/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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