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15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

The middle child, the balancer, the keeper of peace, the glue that holds the family together… however you want to say it, their role is intrinsic to the health and well being of the family. Research shows that the middle child is always likeable.

1. They have a strong work ethic.

Middle children have some of the strongest work ethics out of anyone. It makes sense! From a young age, their role between the trailblazer oldest and rambunctious youngest make them hard workers. Nothing brand new has ever been given to them. They learn that things don’t come easy, and that you have to work for everything.

2. They are peace-keepers.

Middle children are caught in a very unique role between two strong personalities. Without them, order would be non-fluent and turmoil among sibling children would always exist. They dilute both the oldest and youngest’s personalities. They tend to be agreeable and look to please others in the family. This “with the grain” behavior is what makes them crucial to every family dynamic.

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3. They are independent.

No matter the circumstance, the middle child will rarely complain about being bored. The middle child know how to entertain themselves and more importantly, he is comfortable being alone. He doesn’t rely on others to provide all of his joy; he is completely content in findings things to do or just staying in and watching a move on a Saturday night.

4. They are extremely creative.

When it comes to being handy or just having a knack for design, a middle child knows whats best. They’re very introspective people, and with this comes a deep sense of right and wrong. She knows what she wants before she creates something; she rarely struggles to craft works of art from nothing. A blank canvas is seen as an opportunity in her eyes while it can be intimidating for the rest of us. If there is a way to improve design and function of a tool or device, it is almost guaranteed that a middle child came up with it.

5. They are easygoing.

Middle children know how to go with the flow. They don’t want to rock the boat or create conflict. This makes them some of the best companions on adventures. They won’t have their own agenda, they want to do whatever you want to do and they will enjoy it just the same. This is an extremely likeable treat, people want to include middle children in their plans.

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6. They are intelligent.

A middle child knows logic, and reasoning with great understanding. He is well read and knows what he is talking about. He can expand your mind with philosophy and teach you complex topics with ease. Also, think before you try to argue with a middle child, they know their stuff.

7. They know how to pick their battles.

Know exactly what you want to say before you argue with a middle child, they have a way of knowing what hill they want to die on. This can be surprising to what we know of the usual “go with the flow” attitude of the middle child. This is what is so great about middle children though, they don’t pick petty arguments, they don’t nit pick about everything. They are concise and calculated. If they are upset about something, then it is something serious. They know their reasons and they know how to deliver them.

8. They are reliable.

Middle children know the strife of being forgotten. They know the meaning of “ten minutes early is on time.” You can always count on a middle child to be there when you need them. They are never flaky and if you ask them to do something, you will never have to worry otherwise.

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9. They are resourceful.

If you need a problem solver, look no further than the middle child. They have grown up with hand-me-down toys and clothing. They know how to make things work in a pinch. This skill is innate to them, almost like breathing, they are rarely flustered with a difficult situation or circumstance.

10. They are negotiators.

Middle children know how to pick their battles but more importantly they know how to compromise. Growing up in a household where everything is shared teaches many great life lessons. At a young age, they always had to share their toys with their siblings. As they grow up, they know how to compromise and reach understandings. This is what makes them great members of any company or team.

11. They are selfless.

This is one of the most admirable traits of middle children. They know how to put others above themselves. They grew up in that kind of atmosphere, it’s innate to them. This makes them an extremely sought after mate. If you have the chance to make a middle child a part of your life then you are lucky.

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12. They are the bridge.

What does this mean? Ask a middle child this question. She will respond as such “I am closer to my older sibling than my older sibling is to my youngest sibling” and vice versa for youngest to oldest. This means she is the family bridge. She has common ground with both siblings but provides support for all siblings to interact and communicate. Her role is essential for family structure and dynamics.

13. They know right from wrong.

A middle child has a strong grasp of their own beliefs and value system. They grew up being the mediators. They see things as cut and dry. This can help them with many difficult life decisions. They know how to look at problems with logic and facts rather than emotion and hypotheticals.

14. They know how to listen.

This world is dominated by people who know how to talk but few that know how to listen. Middle children get the meaning of being a good listener. They are empathetic and can provide insight. Again, they know how to solve problems because they know to listen first before opening their mouths. If you have a problem, consult the middle child.

15. They are competitors.

This makes sense. Middle children have grown up having to compete over everything. This only makes sense that this will transcend over to their sporting lives. Many great athletes are middle children. Given an unparalleled work ethic, the middle child knows how to win something through sheer will power.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise on balcony/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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