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15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

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15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is Always Likeable

The middle child, the balancer, the keeper of peace, the glue that holds the family together… however you want to say it, their role is intrinsic to the health and well being of the family. Research shows that the middle child is always likeable.

1. They have a strong work ethic.

Middle children have some of the strongest work ethics out of anyone. It makes sense! From a young age, their role between the trailblazer oldest and rambunctious youngest make them hard workers. Nothing brand new has ever been given to them. They learn that things don’t come easy, and that you have to work for everything.

2. They are peace-keepers.

Middle children are caught in a very unique role between two strong personalities. Without them, order would be non-fluent and turmoil among sibling children would always exist. They dilute both the oldest and youngest’s personalities. They tend to be agreeable and look to please others in the family. This “with the grain” behavior is what makes them crucial to every family dynamic.

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3. They are independent.

No matter the circumstance, the middle child will rarely complain about being bored. The middle child know how to entertain themselves and more importantly, he is comfortable being alone. He doesn’t rely on others to provide all of his joy; he is completely content in findings things to do or just staying in and watching a move on a Saturday night.

4. They are extremely creative.

When it comes to being handy or just having a knack for design, a middle child knows whats best. They’re very introspective people, and with this comes a deep sense of right and wrong. She knows what she wants before she creates something; she rarely struggles to craft works of art from nothing. A blank canvas is seen as an opportunity in her eyes while it can be intimidating for the rest of us. If there is a way to improve design and function of a tool or device, it is almost guaranteed that a middle child came up with it.

5. They are easygoing.

Middle children know how to go with the flow. They don’t want to rock the boat or create conflict. This makes them some of the best companions on adventures. They won’t have their own agenda, they want to do whatever you want to do and they will enjoy it just the same. This is an extremely likeable treat, people want to include middle children in their plans.

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6. They are intelligent.

A middle child knows logic, and reasoning with great understanding. He is well read and knows what he is talking about. He can expand your mind with philosophy and teach you complex topics with ease. Also, think before you try to argue with a middle child, they know their stuff.

7. They know how to pick their battles.

Know exactly what you want to say before you argue with a middle child, they have a way of knowing what hill they want to die on. This can be surprising to what we know of the usual “go with the flow” attitude of the middle child. This is what is so great about middle children though, they don’t pick petty arguments, they don’t nit pick about everything. They are concise and calculated. If they are upset about something, then it is something serious. They know their reasons and they know how to deliver them.

8. They are reliable.

Middle children know the strife of being forgotten. They know the meaning of “ten minutes early is on time.” You can always count on a middle child to be there when you need them. They are never flaky and if you ask them to do something, you will never have to worry otherwise.

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9. They are resourceful.

If you need a problem solver, look no further than the middle child. They have grown up with hand-me-down toys and clothing. They know how to make things work in a pinch. This skill is innate to them, almost like breathing, they are rarely flustered with a difficult situation or circumstance.

10. They are negotiators.

Middle children know how to pick their battles but more importantly they know how to compromise. Growing up in a household where everything is shared teaches many great life lessons. At a young age, they always had to share their toys with their siblings. As they grow up, they know how to compromise and reach understandings. This is what makes them great members of any company or team.

11. They are selfless.

This is one of the most admirable traits of middle children. They know how to put others above themselves. They grew up in that kind of atmosphere, it’s innate to them. This makes them an extremely sought after mate. If you have the chance to make a middle child a part of your life then you are lucky.

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12. They are the bridge.

What does this mean? Ask a middle child this question. She will respond as such “I am closer to my older sibling than my older sibling is to my youngest sibling” and vice versa for youngest to oldest. This means she is the family bridge. She has common ground with both siblings but provides support for all siblings to interact and communicate. Her role is essential for family structure and dynamics.

13. They know right from wrong.

A middle child has a strong grasp of their own beliefs and value system. They grew up being the mediators. They see things as cut and dry. This can help them with many difficult life decisions. They know how to look at problems with logic and facts rather than emotion and hypotheticals.

14. They know how to listen.

This world is dominated by people who know how to talk but few that know how to listen. Middle children get the meaning of being a good listener. They are empathetic and can provide insight. Again, they know how to solve problems because they know to listen first before opening their mouths. If you have a problem, consult the middle child.

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15. They are competitors.

This makes sense. Middle children have grown up having to compete over everything. This only makes sense that this will transcend over to their sporting lives. Many great athletes are middle children. Given an unparalleled work ethic, the middle child knows how to win something through sheer will power.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise on balcony/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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