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14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

Sometimes they’re sitting right next to us and we’ll never even expect them to be the one. Some people grew up with this person and everyone knew they were meant to be except them. Sometimes the person you marry is actually on the other side of the world and some how fate or a plane brings you together. And many times, they’re just hiding in plain site. We expect so much out of the person marry and sometimes we don’t get the answers we need because we’re simply afraid to ask or we feel like it should be obvious but it’s not. So if you are planning to marry someone, no matter if it’s next year or one day, make sure to ask them these 14 question.

1. Why do you love me?

This sounds like a broad question but honestly, love is so selfish. It takes a lot to love someone and there’s always a reason why their love for you outweighs how they feel about anyone else. You can’t just love someone for no reason and if the person you marry says, “because I do” or  “I don’t need a reason,” then that’s honestly just bullshit. I promise you there is a reason because we are human and we don’t just like things to like them. Something glimmers in the things we enjoy and whether that be a materialistic item or an actual person, there is a reason for it.

2. Can we sit here in silence and just be?

Silence is healthy and if you can’t sit with the person you’re married to and just be in complete silence without it being awkward then you shouldn’t be married to them. As a couple, you don’t always have to have something to say and you don’t always need to say anything. You should be able to go out in public or even just by yourselves and be able to be fine without speaking. I don’t mean this in an angry way of not speaking, I mean a completely peaceful way where you’re both entirely happy to just be with each other.

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3. Can you make me a cup of coffee?

Your significant other should automatically say yes and know to put two teaspoons of sugar and a teeny tiny bit of milk in that French vanilla cappuccino in your favorite mug with the little deer on it. This also goes with the “can you be a doll and grab my sweater upstairs really fast?” They should know you mean the black one that you wear with everything and not the red one.

4. How do you feel about having children one day?

Some people love kids and some people aren’t meant to have kids. Accidents happen. The children topic still needs to be covered even if you’ve agreed on not having them. Either you really want them or you really don’t. My mother always says that as you grow older, views and opinions change and sometimes you cave in. This isn’t just a question for the beginning of a marriage, this is a question that continues to ponder your mind until it’s too late to have children at all.

5. What are your expectations of this relationship?

Everyone has their expectations of a perfect relationship and if you’re not both on the same page then things could go wrong. And once you have found out each other’s expectations, it’s time to make compromises. If you really want something to work, then you’ll be willing to give away some of your wishes and take in some of their expectations, and vice versa.

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6. If we had never met, where do you think you would be?

Would they be more successful? Do they regret it or do they think they’re a much better person than the one they would have been without you? This could lead to a conversation of how you could grow together as a couple or if there are any walls that need to be conquered in the relationship as a whole.

7.  If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?

Relationships are more than just sex. And if there is no emotional and mental connection then it’ll never last. If you and your significant other can’t keep a conversation which is slightly intelligent then that is a problem. You should be able to talk to them about anything in a serious manner and have it stay that way, rather than everything just turning into sex.

8. Is there anything in your past that I should be aware of?

Some things are best kept secret and some things are a need-to-know. Don’t force this question, it could end badly if said at the wrong time but it’s always good to at least know they trust you with their past. Certain things bother people when it comes to another’s past. Maybe they were hurt by an incident which is similar to something you do and this could lead to problems. Being honest is always a good policy.

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9. Do you trust me with money?

Not only is trusting you with their past important but trusting you with money is too. You don’t want to be seen as a financial burden by them, just like you don’t want to see them that way. And if they don’t trust you or you don’t trust them with money then maybe it’s time to go into some financial counseling to make sure you understand the limits on spending money.

10. What is nagging? Do I nag?

Everyone has their cranky moments when they’re ticked about something but nagging is like a whole other level. And the thing is that nagging is different to every one. Find out what nagging is to them and make sure you don’t do that or ask if they wish you would talk to them about things you don’t like in a different way.

11. If you had a problem with something I do, you would tell me, right?

Sometimes you need to ask this question. You never know unless the person you marry tells you straight up. If they’re acting different or bitter about some recent event, then maybe it’s best to sit down with them and talk it out instead of continuing to let them be that way. And if you have a problem with something your significant other does, then maybe it’s time to tell them, they’ll never know what’s wrong unless you let them know.

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12.  What health problems do you have?

Knowing what kind of allergies the person you marry has or if there is any sort of health issue they may have could come in handy. If they’re allergic to something that you like to cook with them you’ll be able to avoid buying that ingredient. Maybe they’re allergic to dogs and you really wanted a pet. Or maybe it’s something serious that gets passed down into the next generation. Only if you ask, will you find out how big of a deal it really is.

13. If I was unable to care for myself, would you be able to care for me?

All a person could really want is to know if your spouse is still going to be there in your life if you fall ill. This is in your vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” you’re promising to be there for them and they’re promising to be there for you. If they can’t promise that then they’re not really yours to keep.

14. Do you like dogs or cats?

This is so important. I mean what if you’re a major cat lover because they take care of themselves but then the person you marry loves taking their dog to the park to catch some Frisbees? Or maybe you don’t care either way but they’re allergic to cats so then you have to make the decision between an ugly hairless cat or a cute new puppy. There’s going to be an argument and then someone will have to cave.

Featured photo credit: Bride and groom getting married in church view from aisle via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on June 23, 2019

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

Close your eyes and imagine that you’re at your own funeral—a bit morbid I know, but there’s a reason for it. Now think about what you’d like people to say about you. What kind of a life do you want to lead? People die with all kinds of regrets. Don’t be one of them.

1. I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

It’s only when you realise how little other people are really thinking of you (in a negative sense) that you realise how much time you spent caring and wasting energy worrying about this.

2. I wish I had accomplished more.

You don’t have to have won an Oscar, built up a business or run a marathon, but having small personal accomplishments is important.

3. I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

Even if the “one” doesn’t exist, telling someone how you truly feel will always save you from that gut wrenching”but what if…” feeling that could linger for life if you stay quiet.

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4. I wish I had stood up for myself more.

Sometimes, it’s too easy to think that if you go all out to please everyone you’ll be liked more or your partner won’t run off with anyone else. I think age probably teaches us to be nice but not at the expense of our own happiness.

5. I wish I had followed my passion in life.

It’s so easy to be seduced by a stable salary, a solid routine and a comfortable life, but at what expense?

6. I wish our last conversation hadn’t been an argument.

Life is short, and you never really know when the last time you speak to someone you love will be. It’s these moments that really stay clear in peoples’ minds.

7. I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be.

The realisation that love, compassion and empathy are so much more important than clashes in values or belief systems can hit home hard.

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8. I wish I had lived more in the moment.

Watching children grow up makes you realise how short-lived and precious time really is, and as we age, many of us live less and less in the present.

9. I wish I had worked less.

There’s always a desire to have loosened up a bit more with this one and the realisation that financial success or career accomplishment doesn’t necessarily equal a fulfilled life.

10. I wish I had traveled more.

It can be done at any age, with kids or not but many talk themselves out of it for all kinds of reasons such as lack of money, mortgage, children, etc. When there’s a regret, you know it could have been possible at some stage.

11. I wish I had trusted my gut rather than listening to everyone else.

Making your own decisions and feeling confident in the decisions you make gives us fulfilment and joy from life. Going against your gut only breeds resentment and bitterness.

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12. I wish I’d taken better care of myself.

Premature health problems or ageing always makes you wonder if you’d eaten healthier, exercised more and been less stressed, would you be where you are today?

13. I wish I’d taken more risks.

Everyone has their own idea of what’s risky, but you know when you’re living too much in your comfort zone. In hindsight, some people feel they missed out on a lot of adventure life has to offer.

14. I wish I’d had more time.

Many people say time speeds up as we age. The six weeks of summer holidays we had as kids certainly seemed to last a lifetime. If time speeds up, then it’s even more important to make the most of every moment.

15. I wish I hadn’t worried so much.

If you’ve ever kept a diary and looked back, you’ll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.

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16. I wish I’d appreciated ___ more.

The consequences of taking people for granted are always hard to deal with.

17. I wish I’d spent more time with my family.

Some people get caught up with work, move to other parts of the world, grow old with grudges against family members only to realise their priorities were in the wrong place.

18. I wish I hadn’t taken myself so seriously.

Life is just more fun when you can laugh at yourself.

19. I wish I’d done more for other people.

Doing things for others just makes life more meaningful.

20. I wish I could have felt happier.

The realisation that happiness is a state of mind that you can control sometimes doesn’t occur to people until it’s too late.

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