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14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

Sometimes they’re sitting right next to us and we’ll never even expect them to be the one. Some people grew up with this person and everyone knew they were meant to be except them. Sometimes the person you marry is actually on the other side of the world and some how fate or a plane brings you together. And many times, they’re just hiding in plain site. We expect so much out of the person marry and sometimes we don’t get the answers we need because we’re simply afraid to ask or we feel like it should be obvious but it’s not. So if you are planning to marry someone, no matter if it’s next year or one day, make sure to ask them these 14 question.

1. Why do you love me?

This sounds like a broad question but honestly, love is so selfish. It takes a lot to love someone and there’s always a reason why their love for you outweighs how they feel about anyone else. You can’t just love someone for no reason and if the person you marry says, “because I do” or  “I don’t need a reason,” then that’s honestly just bullshit. I promise you there is a reason because we are human and we don’t just like things to like them. Something glimmers in the things we enjoy and whether that be a materialistic item or an actual person, there is a reason for it.

2. Can we sit here in silence and just be?

Silence is healthy and if you can’t sit with the person you’re married to and just be in complete silence without it being awkward then you shouldn’t be married to them. As a couple, you don’t always have to have something to say and you don’t always need to say anything. You should be able to go out in public or even just by yourselves and be able to be fine without speaking. I don’t mean this in an angry way of not speaking, I mean a completely peaceful way where you’re both entirely happy to just be with each other.

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3. Can you make me a cup of coffee?

Your significant other should automatically say yes and know to put two teaspoons of sugar and a teeny tiny bit of milk in that French vanilla cappuccino in your favorite mug with the little deer on it. This also goes with the “can you be a doll and grab my sweater upstairs really fast?” They should know you mean the black one that you wear with everything and not the red one.

4. How do you feel about having children one day?

Some people love kids and some people aren’t meant to have kids. Accidents happen. The children topic still needs to be covered even if you’ve agreed on not having them. Either you really want them or you really don’t. My mother always says that as you grow older, views and opinions change and sometimes you cave in. This isn’t just a question for the beginning of a marriage, this is a question that continues to ponder your mind until it’s too late to have children at all.

5. What are your expectations of this relationship?

Everyone has their expectations of a perfect relationship and if you’re not both on the same page then things could go wrong. And once you have found out each other’s expectations, it’s time to make compromises. If you really want something to work, then you’ll be willing to give away some of your wishes and take in some of their expectations, and vice versa.

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6. If we had never met, where do you think you would be?

Would they be more successful? Do they regret it or do they think they’re a much better person than the one they would have been without you? This could lead to a conversation of how you could grow together as a couple or if there are any walls that need to be conquered in the relationship as a whole.

7.  If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?

Relationships are more than just sex. And if there is no emotional and mental connection then it’ll never last. If you and your significant other can’t keep a conversation which is slightly intelligent then that is a problem. You should be able to talk to them about anything in a serious manner and have it stay that way, rather than everything just turning into sex.

8. Is there anything in your past that I should be aware of?

Some things are best kept secret and some things are a need-to-know. Don’t force this question, it could end badly if said at the wrong time but it’s always good to at least know they trust you with their past. Certain things bother people when it comes to another’s past. Maybe they were hurt by an incident which is similar to something you do and this could lead to problems. Being honest is always a good policy.

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9. Do you trust me with money?

Not only is trusting you with their past important but trusting you with money is too. You don’t want to be seen as a financial burden by them, just like you don’t want to see them that way. And if they don’t trust you or you don’t trust them with money then maybe it’s time to go into some financial counseling to make sure you understand the limits on spending money.

10. What is nagging? Do I nag?

Everyone has their cranky moments when they’re ticked about something but nagging is like a whole other level. And the thing is that nagging is different to every one. Find out what nagging is to them and make sure you don’t do that or ask if they wish you would talk to them about things you don’t like in a different way.

11. If you had a problem with something I do, you would tell me, right?

Sometimes you need to ask this question. You never know unless the person you marry tells you straight up. If they’re acting different or bitter about some recent event, then maybe it’s best to sit down with them and talk it out instead of continuing to let them be that way. And if you have a problem with something your significant other does, then maybe it’s time to tell them, they’ll never know what’s wrong unless you let them know.

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12.  What health problems do you have?

Knowing what kind of allergies the person you marry has or if there is any sort of health issue they may have could come in handy. If they’re allergic to something that you like to cook with them you’ll be able to avoid buying that ingredient. Maybe they’re allergic to dogs and you really wanted a pet. Or maybe it’s something serious that gets passed down into the next generation. Only if you ask, will you find out how big of a deal it really is.

13. If I was unable to care for myself, would you be able to care for me?

All a person could really want is to know if your spouse is still going to be there in your life if you fall ill. This is in your vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” you’re promising to be there for them and they’re promising to be there for you. If they can’t promise that then they’re not really yours to keep.

14. Do you like dogs or cats?

This is so important. I mean what if you’re a major cat lover because they take care of themselves but then the person you marry loves taking their dog to the park to catch some Frisbees? Or maybe you don’t care either way but they’re allergic to cats so then you have to make the decision between an ugly hairless cat or a cute new puppy. There’s going to be an argument and then someone will have to cave.

Featured photo credit: Bride and groom getting married in church view from aisle via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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