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14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

14 Questions The Person You Marry Should Know The Answer To

Sometimes they’re sitting right next to us and we’ll never even expect them to be the one. Some people grew up with this person and everyone knew they were meant to be except them. Sometimes the person you marry is actually on the other side of the world and some how fate or a plane brings you together. And many times, they’re just hiding in plain site. We expect so much out of the person marry and sometimes we don’t get the answers we need because we’re simply afraid to ask or we feel like it should be obvious but it’s not. So if you are planning to marry someone, no matter if it’s next year or one day, make sure to ask them these 14 question.

1. Why do you love me?

This sounds like a broad question but honestly, love is so selfish. It takes a lot to love someone and there’s always a reason why their love for you outweighs how they feel about anyone else. You can’t just love someone for no reason and if the person you marry says, “because I do” or  “I don’t need a reason,” then that’s honestly just bullshit. I promise you there is a reason because we are human and we don’t just like things to like them. Something glimmers in the things we enjoy and whether that be a materialistic item or an actual person, there is a reason for it.

2. Can we sit here in silence and just be?

Silence is healthy and if you can’t sit with the person you’re married to and just be in complete silence without it being awkward then you shouldn’t be married to them. As a couple, you don’t always have to have something to say and you don’t always need to say anything. You should be able to go out in public or even just by yourselves and be able to be fine without speaking. I don’t mean this in an angry way of not speaking, I mean a completely peaceful way where you’re both entirely happy to just be with each other.

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3. Can you make me a cup of coffee?

Your significant other should automatically say yes and know to put two teaspoons of sugar and a teeny tiny bit of milk in that French vanilla cappuccino in your favorite mug with the little deer on it. This also goes with the “can you be a doll and grab my sweater upstairs really fast?” They should know you mean the black one that you wear with everything and not the red one.

4. How do you feel about having children one day?

Some people love kids and some people aren’t meant to have kids. Accidents happen. The children topic still needs to be covered even if you’ve agreed on not having them. Either you really want them or you really don’t. My mother always says that as you grow older, views and opinions change and sometimes you cave in. This isn’t just a question for the beginning of a marriage, this is a question that continues to ponder your mind until it’s too late to have children at all.

5. What are your expectations of this relationship?

Everyone has their expectations of a perfect relationship and if you’re not both on the same page then things could go wrong. And once you have found out each other’s expectations, it’s time to make compromises. If you really want something to work, then you’ll be willing to give away some of your wishes and take in some of their expectations, and vice versa.

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6. If we had never met, where do you think you would be?

Would they be more successful? Do they regret it or do they think they’re a much better person than the one they would have been without you? This could lead to a conversation of how you could grow together as a couple or if there are any walls that need to be conquered in the relationship as a whole.

7.  If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?

Relationships are more than just sex. And if there is no emotional and mental connection then it’ll never last. If you and your significant other can’t keep a conversation which is slightly intelligent then that is a problem. You should be able to talk to them about anything in a serious manner and have it stay that way, rather than everything just turning into sex.

8. Is there anything in your past that I should be aware of?

Some things are best kept secret and some things are a need-to-know. Don’t force this question, it could end badly if said at the wrong time but it’s always good to at least know they trust you with their past. Certain things bother people when it comes to another’s past. Maybe they were hurt by an incident which is similar to something you do and this could lead to problems. Being honest is always a good policy.

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9. Do you trust me with money?

Not only is trusting you with their past important but trusting you with money is too. You don’t want to be seen as a financial burden by them, just like you don’t want to see them that way. And if they don’t trust you or you don’t trust them with money then maybe it’s time to go into some financial counseling to make sure you understand the limits on spending money.

10. What is nagging? Do I nag?

Everyone has their cranky moments when they’re ticked about something but nagging is like a whole other level. And the thing is that nagging is different to every one. Find out what nagging is to them and make sure you don’t do that or ask if they wish you would talk to them about things you don’t like in a different way.

11. If you had a problem with something I do, you would tell me, right?

Sometimes you need to ask this question. You never know unless the person you marry tells you straight up. If they’re acting different or bitter about some recent event, then maybe it’s best to sit down with them and talk it out instead of continuing to let them be that way. And if you have a problem with something your significant other does, then maybe it’s time to tell them, they’ll never know what’s wrong unless you let them know.

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12.  What health problems do you have?

Knowing what kind of allergies the person you marry has or if there is any sort of health issue they may have could come in handy. If they’re allergic to something that you like to cook with them you’ll be able to avoid buying that ingredient. Maybe they’re allergic to dogs and you really wanted a pet. Or maybe it’s something serious that gets passed down into the next generation. Only if you ask, will you find out how big of a deal it really is.

13. If I was unable to care for myself, would you be able to care for me?

All a person could really want is to know if your spouse is still going to be there in your life if you fall ill. This is in your vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” you’re promising to be there for them and they’re promising to be there for you. If they can’t promise that then they’re not really yours to keep.

14. Do you like dogs or cats?

This is so important. I mean what if you’re a major cat lover because they take care of themselves but then the person you marry loves taking their dog to the park to catch some Frisbees? Or maybe you don’t care either way but they’re allergic to cats so then you have to make the decision between an ugly hairless cat or a cute new puppy. There’s going to be an argument and then someone will have to cave.

Featured photo credit: Bride and groom getting married in church view from aisle via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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