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14 Questions Everyone Should Be Able To Answer Before Getting Married

14 Questions Everyone Should Be Able To Answer Before Getting Married

Are you getting married, or plan to get married in the future? If yes, what are some of the questions you should ask yourself before saying “I Do?” Marriage is a life-long adventure which can be great, or not so great, so spending a great amount of time preparing yourself is a must. It could even be disastrous. You probably might have witnessed a nasty divorce before. Therefore, before you decide to tie the knot with the ONE you have been dreaming about spending the rest of your life with, ponder over the 14 questions below.

1. Are you emotionally as well as physically attracted to your partner?

Deciding to marry someone should never be solely based on their physical appearance. But because of all the beautiful people we see, and communicate with everyday, you should make sure you are physically attracted to your partner. If not, you would end up being unhappy with your spouse’s physical appearance, which could lead to other problems.

2. Are you ready to commit to spending the rest of your life with your partner?

Committing to spending the rest of your life with someone is not an easy decision. And you should make sure you are ready for this life-long commitment. Over the course of your married life, you will both grow old. You and your spouse will change in many ways. You want to be able to spend the rest of your live and grow together with this person. Being committed to each other will help you thrive as a married couple, and also become a better person.

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3. When you argue or disagree with your partner what happens?

Does it always have to be your way?  Fights, and arguments are bound to happen after you get married. You have to be able to compromise, and agree on various issues. And being able to understand it does not have to be your way all the time but OUR way will go a long way in ensuring you have a great marriage.

4. Would you be faithful, and trustworthy?

This question ties in with being ready to spend the rest of your life with the person you marry. If you cannot be faithful with your partner, do not bother about getting married. The future does not look bright for your marriage.

5. Do you share the same beliefs?

Sharing the same belief system is an integral component of most successful marriages. By sharing the same beliefs you will have another way to connect, grow, and help each other. And when your kids (if you have have kids) get older, it makes it easier to teach them what your beliefs are without having much conflict.

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6. Are you the person he/she has been looking for, and wants to marry?

If you do not the standards he/she has for a future spouse, its time to ponder about your decision again. Remember, marriage is not easy, therefore marry someone who has been looking for someone with your personality and character traits.You don’t want someone trying to change you, or vie versa.

7. Do you share similar long term, lifestyle, family, marriage, and life goals?

Imagine marrying someone who likes to travel 6 months out of the year, whereas you HATE to travel. Would you be able to live a happy, and enjoyable life together? What if you hate the cold, and he/she loves it? Do you even know what you want in life, for a career, family, etc? By marrying someone, you are agreeing to help them have a fulfilling life, and should be interested in things they like. You will certainly have some differences but let your differences compliment each other.

8. Do you both want to have kids?

If you want to have kids someday, and your partner does not want to have any kids, you both have to sit down and discuss whether moving forward with your marriage plans the best thing for both of you.

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9. If this person was incapacitated would you want to spend the rest of my life with him/her?

This question is not one we all look forward to answering. But life is unpredictable. You could be walking with both legs today, but be without your legs tomorrow from a car accident. Can you support, and be there forever with your future spouse if something like this happens?

10. Are you ready to put this persons needs above your wants?

In marriage, you both have to give and take, especially during the first few years of your marriage. You will go through some adjustments that will require putting your spouses needs above your wants. Are you ready for that? Yes, you might have to stop buying your dream car or house, just so you can put the money towards helping your spouse finish their college education. You will have to make some sacrifices.

11. Would you be a great team member?

It takes two to tango, especially in marriage. You will not be alone anymore when it comes to making decisions for your house, family, marriage, and life. If you do not work well together, or hate working together, don’t bother getting married. There will be A LOT of things you will have to both work on together everyday; not just once a week or month, marriage is all about teamwork. And if you do not make a great team member, guess what, you will not make progress in your marriage, and your life.

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12. Are you proud of your partner?

When your partner achieves an accomplishment, makes progress on a goal, or fails utterly from undertaking a goal, you should be proud of them. When he/she is around your friends and family, you should be proud to talk about them.

13. Are you ready to accept your partner’s family, and support them if need be?

You are not just marrying your partner, you are marrying his/her family too. There will be many occasions like birthdays, weddings, holidays, etc that you will have to be present, and take part in. Sometimes, you will have to contribute financially as a couple.

14. Do you want to share your finances together or have separate accounts?

Money problems is one of the well known reasons why married couples get divorced. Therefore ensure you are on the same page when it comes to your finances. What if after going through these questions, get married, and your marriage ends in a divorce? Life is unpredictable, therefore use these questions as a guide when deciding to get married.

These questions will help you make a good decision, and not rush into getting married. After getting, married, you and your spouse must continually work hard to improve yourself and live the marriage you both dreamed about before saying “I Do.” If you are not ready to commit, be selfless, learn, and work hard to make your marriage a healthy, happy, and lasting one, marriage might not be for you!

Featured photo credit: niekverlaan via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

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Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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