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14 Questions Everyone Should Be Able To Answer Before Getting Married

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14 Questions Everyone Should Be Able To Answer Before Getting Married

Are you getting married, or plan to get married in the future? If yes, what are some of the questions you should ask yourself before saying “I Do?” Marriage is a life-long adventure which can be great, or not so great, so spending a great amount of time preparing yourself is a must. It could even be disastrous. You probably might have witnessed a nasty divorce before. Therefore, before you decide to tie the knot with the ONE you have been dreaming about spending the rest of your life with, ponder over the 14 questions below.

1. Are you emotionally as well as physically attracted to your partner?

Deciding to marry someone should never be solely based on their physical appearance. But because of all the beautiful people we see, and communicate with everyday, you should make sure you are physically attracted to your partner. If not, you would end up being unhappy with your spouse’s physical appearance, which could lead to other problems.

2. Are you ready to commit to spending the rest of your life with your partner?

Committing to spending the rest of your life with someone is not an easy decision. And you should make sure you are ready for this life-long commitment. Over the course of your married life, you will both grow old. You and your spouse will change in many ways. You want to be able to spend the rest of your live and grow together with this person. Being committed to each other will help you thrive as a married couple, and also become a better person.

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3. When you argue or disagree with your partner what happens?

Does it always have to be your way?  Fights, and arguments are bound to happen after you get married. You have to be able to compromise, and agree on various issues. And being able to understand it does not have to be your way all the time but OUR way will go a long way in ensuring you have a great marriage.

4. Would you be faithful, and trustworthy?

This question ties in with being ready to spend the rest of your life with the person you marry. If you cannot be faithful with your partner, do not bother about getting married. The future does not look bright for your marriage.

5. Do you share the same beliefs?

Sharing the same belief system is an integral component of most successful marriages. By sharing the same beliefs you will have another way to connect, grow, and help each other. And when your kids (if you have have kids) get older, it makes it easier to teach them what your beliefs are without having much conflict.

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6. Are you the person he/she has been looking for, and wants to marry?

If you do not the standards he/she has for a future spouse, its time to ponder about your decision again. Remember, marriage is not easy, therefore marry someone who has been looking for someone with your personality and character traits.You don’t want someone trying to change you, or vie versa.

7. Do you share similar long term, lifestyle, family, marriage, and life goals?

Imagine marrying someone who likes to travel 6 months out of the year, whereas you HATE to travel. Would you be able to live a happy, and enjoyable life together? What if you hate the cold, and he/she loves it? Do you even know what you want in life, for a career, family, etc? By marrying someone, you are agreeing to help them have a fulfilling life, and should be interested in things they like. You will certainly have some differences but let your differences compliment each other.

8. Do you both want to have kids?

If you want to have kids someday, and your partner does not want to have any kids, you both have to sit down and discuss whether moving forward with your marriage plans the best thing for both of you.

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9. If this person was incapacitated would you want to spend the rest of my life with him/her?

This question is not one we all look forward to answering. But life is unpredictable. You could be walking with both legs today, but be without your legs tomorrow from a car accident. Can you support, and be there forever with your future spouse if something like this happens?

10. Are you ready to put this persons needs above your wants?

In marriage, you both have to give and take, especially during the first few years of your marriage. You will go through some adjustments that will require putting your spouses needs above your wants. Are you ready for that? Yes, you might have to stop buying your dream car or house, just so you can put the money towards helping your spouse finish their college education. You will have to make some sacrifices.

11. Would you be a great team member?

It takes two to tango, especially in marriage. You will not be alone anymore when it comes to making decisions for your house, family, marriage, and life. If you do not work well together, or hate working together, don’t bother getting married. There will be A LOT of things you will have to both work on together everyday; not just once a week or month, marriage is all about teamwork. And if you do not make a great team member, guess what, you will not make progress in your marriage, and your life.

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12. Are you proud of your partner?

When your partner achieves an accomplishment, makes progress on a goal, or fails utterly from undertaking a goal, you should be proud of them. When he/she is around your friends and family, you should be proud to talk about them.

13. Are you ready to accept your partner’s family, and support them if need be?

You are not just marrying your partner, you are marrying his/her family too. There will be many occasions like birthdays, weddings, holidays, etc that you will have to be present, and take part in. Sometimes, you will have to contribute financially as a couple.

14. Do you want to share your finances together or have separate accounts?

Money problems is one of the well known reasons why married couples get divorced. Therefore ensure you are on the same page when it comes to your finances. What if after going through these questions, get married, and your marriage ends in a divorce? Life is unpredictable, therefore use these questions as a guide when deciding to get married.

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These questions will help you make a good decision, and not rush into getting married. After getting, married, you and your spouse must continually work hard to improve yourself and live the marriage you both dreamed about before saying “I Do.” If you are not ready to commit, be selfless, learn, and work hard to make your marriage a healthy, happy, and lasting one, marriage might not be for you!

Featured photo credit: niekverlaan via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 24, 2022

21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

Still, many of us try them.

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However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

1. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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2. See it as an opportunity.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

5. Talk dirty with each other.

Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

7. Do things together.

Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

8. Do similar things.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

9. Make visits to each other.

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

10. Have a goal in mind.

Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

12. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

13. Know each other’s schedules.

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

16. Get a good messaging app.

This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

17. Snail-mail your gift.

Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

18. Stay positive.

You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

20. Video-call whenever possible.

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

21. Give each other pet names.

Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

With the best wishes…

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
  • Carol Morgan —  A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
  • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
  • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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