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14 Choices Happy People Make

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14 Choices Happy People Make

People make a lot of choices throughout the day. Think about it. What to wear, what to eat for breakfast, how to get to work, whether or not to say hi to co-workers, who to send emails to, where to go for lunch, what bills to pay, what errands to run, whether or not to see friends, what to watch on TV, what time to go to bed, etc. The list goes on and on and on.

One of the most paramount and compelling choices people face is whether or not to let bad or unexpected things get them down and make them feel unhappy. Guess what happy people choose. They choose to be happy regardless of what is happening around them.

If you want to start feeling happier, then do what happy people do, and make these 14 choices:

1. Forgive.

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”

Forgiveness is a powerful tool that people have at their disposal. Happy people forgive because that’s what best for them. They know holding on to anger, sadness, or frustration will only hurt themselves. You can forgive because that is what will help you feel better. It can be difficult, sure, but you can choose to do it.

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2. Take things one day at a time.

Take a deep breath. Slow down for a minute. Your experience in this very moment is your life. Worrying about the past can get in the way of your here and now. You can think about your future, but do so mindfully, so you always remain truly present. Choose to take things one day at a time.

3. Have a bad day.

Happy people know they will experience hurt sometimes. It’s an unchangeable fact of life. If you can accept this inevitability, then you can be prepared for it when it comes. Explore your bad days and try to find out what is really going on beneath the surface. Ask your inner child what he or she needs and then try to fulfill that need. Please don’t expect that you’re never going to feel bad because that will just make you unhappy. Choose to have a bad day once in a while.

4. Never take things personally.

“When someone is nasty or treats you poorly, don’t take it personally. It says nothing about you, but a lot about them.” – Michael Josephson

This couldn’t be truer. All people have bad days, right? (Refer to #3!) If someone is rude to you, ignores you, or looks sad, it likely has nothing to do with you. Don’t make assumptions about what is going on in other people’s heads, and don’t worry about rescuing them from their moods or problems. It is not your job, nor your responsibility. Happy people will listen to a friend in need, but know better than to make it about themselves. Choose not to take things personally.

5. Try. (Even when it seems way too hard.)

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

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How can you make a shot if you don’t take it? How can you succeed if you don’t try? Always give yourself a chance. Happy people attempt things even when success is not guaranteed and even when it’s scary for them. What an amazing feeling it will be to succeed through uncertainty! By the way, failing is also healthy. You can learn and grow from failure. Don’t be afraid of change, but instead take risks. You can handle it! Choose to try.

“Failing is not falling down but refusing to get up.” – Chinese proverb

6. Love yourself.

You’ve got to love yourself. You really do. Respect and wholly accept who you are, down to your core. Remember that you are not your behaviors or your emotions. We all make bad decisions and act poorly sometimes. Who doesn’t? At the time you made a questionable decision, did you believe you were making one? Probably not. We all screw up sometimes! Live and learn, and then love yourself with all your flaws and imperfections. Consider this: there are no “mistakes,” but rather opportunities to learn and grow. You are wonderful just the way you are. Choose to love yourself!

7. Take responsibility.

Take full responsibility for yourself. You don’t have to love your actions or feelings, but you do have to own them. Try not to blame yourself or other people for your problems. If you are acting negatively right now, that’s your choice. And it’s okay! If that is what you need to do, then do it. But own up to it, and turn it around it when you are ready. Even if something or someone bothered you, you do not have to let it control you. Remember not to give that power away. You can choose to take responsibility.

8. Laugh.

Laugh! Laugh your little heart out. Laugh until you turn red. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your friends. Laugh at all the silly gaffes, snafus, and flubs you’ve made. Laugh at all the annoying behaviors that used to drive you crazy. Laugh as much as you can. Laughter is the cheapest and easiest medicine you can get, and there are no side-effects! Happy people choose to laugh and so can you.

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“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

laughter

    9. Let go.

    Let go of expectations. Let go of anxiety. Let go of fear. Let go of hate. Let go of hurt. Let go of the past. Let go of trying to fix things. Let things work themselves out, and while that’s happening, the only things you have to do are livelearn, and smile. Choose to let go today.

    10. Be grateful.

    Think about everything and everyone in your life. Name three things or people you are thankful for. Name five more things or people you are thankful for. How about 10? Can you name 15? Now, thank the people and things you listed. While you’re at it, thank the clothes you’re wearing and the computer you’re using. Don’t forget to thank the car you drove, the bus you took, or the bike you rode today. You can choose to recognize all you have, and once you do, you will be choosing happiness.

    11. Trust.

    First, trust yourself. Trust that you are strong. Trust that you can survive. Trust that you make good decisions and have well-developed opinions. Trust that you are in control.

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    Second, trust that you have great family and friends. Trust that they have your best interests in mind. Trust that they do not ever intend to hurt you. Choose to see the good in people. Choose trust.

    12. Help others.

    Do you know someone who could use a hand? Why don’t you offer to help them out this weekend? Have you ever volunteered? Why not visit a shelter, read to children at a hospital, donate to a food pantry, or hang out with some grandmas at an old-age home? How about holding the door or giving someone a free smile? Doing these kinds of things will make you feel good. Choose to be kind and help others out.

    13. Think things through.

    Think everything through. You don’t need to rush to make decisions. You don’t need to react, but instead, you can give yourself time to process. While your mind synthesizes, you can paint a picture, read a book, or talk to a friend. Relax and let your brain do the work. A lot goes on in your head in one day; it needs time to go through it all. Choose to let time be on your side and think things through.

    14. Be happy.

    It can be that simple if you let it. Sure, everyone has different DNA and various levels of endorphins in their brains, but all of us can make choices. You can let things get you down or you can be happy. Starting today, choose happiness.

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    Namaste

      Featured photo credit: Nosha via flickr.com

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      Last Updated on January 24, 2022

      21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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      21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

      Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

      Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

      Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

      Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

      Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

      People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

      Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

      Still, many of us try them.

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      However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

      Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

      Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

      1. Avoid excessive communication.

      It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

      Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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      2. See it as an opportunity.

      “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

      View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

      As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

      “I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

      3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

      Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

      For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

      4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

      Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

      To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

      5. Talk dirty with each other.

      Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

      Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

      6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

      If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

      You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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      You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

      Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

      7. Do things together.

      Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

      You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

      8. Do similar things.

      Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

      Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

      9. Make visits to each other.

      Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

      After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

      The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

      10. Have a goal in mind.

      Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

      In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

      So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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      It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

      That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

      11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

      You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

      12. Stay honest with each other.

      Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

      13. Know each other’s schedules.

      It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

      14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

      Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

      15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

      Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

      16. Get a good messaging app.

      This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

      Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

      17. Snail-mail your gift.

      Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

      18. Stay positive.

      You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

      One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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      19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

      This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

      Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

      20. Video-call whenever possible.

      Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

      A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

      21. Give each other pet names.

      Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

      Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

      With the best wishes…

      Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

      Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

      More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
      • Carol Morgan —  A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
      • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
      • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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