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12 Timeless Life Lessons Learned from the Dalai Lama

12 Timeless Life Lessons Learned from the Dalai Lama

What greater tragedy could there be than to spend your whole life unhappy, fearful and/or in conflict with other human beings? Surely it is far better to use your time here on earth living a meaningful life that not only enriches your own life, but also the lives of others. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama – spiritual leader of the Tibetan people and head monk of the Gelugpa lineage of Tibetan Buddhism – says: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

A Nobel Peace Prize winner, the current Dalai Lama has spent his life teaching truths that help people reach greater happiness and enlightenment. He advocates for a life of compassion and service. Here are some of his most powerful life lessons that will benefit us if we internalize and put them into practice.

1.    We are all the same—members of the same human family

No matter what your status in life may be, you are still part of the same human family. We are all one. We should not be guided by notions of “them” vs. “us”, but instead think of our world much more in terms of a great “US.”

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Kindness, Clarity, and Insight:

“Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering. With that feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this. In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on.  Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same.”

2.    If there is love, there is hope for families

Families today are plagued with strife, tensions and breakups, but the hope for families is love. If there is love in our homes, there is hope.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, and real peace. If the love within your mind is lost, if you continue to see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education you have, no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.”

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3.   Good wishes alone are not sufficient; you must be actively engaged

Things won’t just work themselves out: you must work to bring about the change you desire in your life and in the lives of others. Roll up your sleeves and be actively engaged.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“In the present circumstances, no one can afford to assume that someone else will solve their problems. Every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes are not sufficient; we must become actively engaged.”

4.    Before you generate love, you must first know what love is

You cannot offer what you don’t have or excite true love except by love. You must understand what love is and embrace it fully with all its costs. This way you will be able to generate true, sincere love and compassion.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Compassionate Life:

“Before we can generate compassion and love, it is important to have a clear understanding of what we understand compassion and love to be. In simple terms, compassion and love can be defined as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such essential things in life as hope, courage, determination, and inner strength. In the Buddhist tradition, compassion and love are seen as two aspects of the same thing: Compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to have happiness.”

5.    Self-confidence is vital to making a better world

Self-confidence built on an awareness of your own potential is vital to making yourself and others better.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom:

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“With the realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. According to my own experience, self-confidence is very important. That sort of confidence is not a blind one; it is an awareness of one’s own potential. On that basis, human beings can transform themselves by increasing the good qualities and reducing the negative qualities.”

6.    Self-discipline is your best defense against negative emotions

Negative emotions like anger, bitterness, hate, and jealousy bring about disasters of epic proportions in modern life. We can combat and diffuse negative emotions by exercising self-discipline: self-discipline is your fortress.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Live in a Better Way: Reflections on Truth, Love and Happiness:

“Self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combating negative emotions, should be a defensive measure. At least we will be able to prevent the advent of negative conduct dominated by negative emotion. That is ‘shila‘, or moral ethics. Once we develop this by familiarizing ourselves with it, along with mindfulness and conscientiousness, eventually that pattern and way of life will become a part of our own life.”

7.    Success does not come merely by luck

Successful people are not successful merely by luck. There is a cause for success. Hard work breeds success. You must not just sit and wait for luck to smile at you. We merit success by working for it.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Answers: Discussions with Western Buddhists:

“It is our custom to say that someone is “lucky” or “unlucky” if they meet with fortunate or unfortunate circumstances, respectively. It is however, too simplistic to think in terms of random “luck.” Even from a scientific point of view, this is not a sufficient explanation. Should something unfortunate happen, we immediately think, “Oh, how unlucky!” And yet this is not sufficient to explain what happened – there must be a cause. We seem to call “luck” that factor which overrides external conditions to bring about a positive situation. But that too is a cause; it is an inner cause, which we call “merit.”

8.    No action is meaningless in a community

Society exists as a collection of individuals. Every effort is important; every individual action significant. No action is meaningless. You must take initiative and be responsible for your actions to move communities forward.

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In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Love and Compassion:

“Sometimes we feel that one individual’s action is very insignificant. Then we think, of course, that effects should come from channeling or from a unifying movement. But the movement of the society, community, or group of people means joining individuals. Society means a collection of individuals, so that initiative must come from individuals. Unless each individual develops a sense of responsibility, the whole community cannot move. So therefore, it is very essential that we should not feel that individual effort is meaningless- you should not feel that way. We should make an effort.”

9.   Tomorrow’s events depend very much on today’s actions

What we do today has a direct impact on our tomorrow. So, learn from yesterday, do your best today, and reap the fruits tomorrow.  

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Live in a Better Way: Reflections on Truth, Love and Happiness:

“According to Buddhism, there is a commensurate relationship between cause and effect where pain and pleasure are concerned. The immediate cause is karma. Karma means action. Tomorrow’s events depend very much on today’s actions, this year’s events on last year’s, while this century’s events are linked with those of the previous centuries. The actions of previous generations affect the lives of the generations that follow. This is also a kin of karma. However, there is a difference between actions carried out by a group of people or sentient beings jointly, and actions carried out by single person. In individual cases, the actions of the earlier part of one’s life have an effect on the latter part of one’s life.”

10.   Calmness of mind is a supreme source of mental happiness

Calmness of mind brings mental tranquility and happiness even in difficult and trying times. Have a calm mind and nothing will shake you.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom:

“We often speak of the external enemy. For example, in my own case, our Chinese brothers and sisters are destroying Tibetan rights and, in that way, more suffering and anxiety develops. But no matter how forceful this is, it cannot destroy the supreme source of my happiness, which is my calmness of mind. This is something an external enemy cannot destroy. Our country can be invaded, our possessions can be destroyed, our friends can be killed, but these are secondary for our mental happiness. The ultimate source of my mental happiness is my peace of mind. Nothing can destroy this except my own anger.”

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11.   True tranquility springs from fewer personal requirements

True tranquility calls for fewer personal requirements and higher involvement in community.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“As far as your personal requirements are concerned, the ideal is to have fewer involvements, fewer obligations, and fewer affairs, business or whatever. However, so far as the interest of the larger  community is concerned, you must have as many involvements as possible and as many activities as possible.”

12.   Our own survival is tied to the survival of the natural environment

No matter how much we try to disengage from our natural environment, our own survival as a species is tied to the survival of the natural environment.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama, A Policy of Kindness:

“Just as we should cultivate more gentle and peaceful relations with our fellow human beings, we should also extend that same kind of attitude towards the natural environment. Morally speaking, we should be concerned for our whole environment. This, however, is not just a question of morality or ethics, but also a question of our own survival. For this generation and for future generations, the environment is very important.

If we exploit the environment in extreme ways, we may receive some benefit today, but in the long run, we will suffer, as will our future generations. When the environment changes, the climatic condition also changes. When the climate changes dramatically, the economy and many other things change. Our physical health will be greatly affected. Again, conservation is not merely a question of morality, but a question of our own survival.”

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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