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12 Timeless Life Lessons Learned from the Dalai Lama

12 Timeless Life Lessons Learned from the Dalai Lama

What greater tragedy could there be than to spend your whole life unhappy, fearful and/or in conflict with other human beings? Surely it is far better to use your time here on earth living a meaningful life that not only enriches your own life, but also the lives of others. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama – spiritual leader of the Tibetan people and head monk of the Gelugpa lineage of Tibetan Buddhism – says: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

A Nobel Peace Prize winner, the current Dalai Lama has spent his life teaching truths that help people reach greater happiness and enlightenment. He advocates for a life of compassion and service. Here are some of his most powerful life lessons that will benefit us if we internalize and put them into practice.

1.    We are all the same—members of the same human family

No matter what your status in life may be, you are still part of the same human family. We are all one. We should not be guided by notions of “them” vs. “us”, but instead think of our world much more in terms of a great “US.”

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Kindness, Clarity, and Insight:

“Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering. With that feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this. In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on.  Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same.”

2.    If there is love, there is hope for families

Families today are plagued with strife, tensions and breakups, but the hope for families is love. If there is love in our homes, there is hope.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, and real peace. If the love within your mind is lost, if you continue to see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education you have, no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.”

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3.   Good wishes alone are not sufficient; you must be actively engaged

Things won’t just work themselves out: you must work to bring about the change you desire in your life and in the lives of others. Roll up your sleeves and be actively engaged.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“In the present circumstances, no one can afford to assume that someone else will solve their problems. Every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes are not sufficient; we must become actively engaged.”

4.    Before you generate love, you must first know what love is

You cannot offer what you don’t have or excite true love except by love. You must understand what love is and embrace it fully with all its costs. This way you will be able to generate true, sincere love and compassion.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Compassionate Life:

“Before we can generate compassion and love, it is important to have a clear understanding of what we understand compassion and love to be. In simple terms, compassion and love can be defined as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such essential things in life as hope, courage, determination, and inner strength. In the Buddhist tradition, compassion and love are seen as two aspects of the same thing: Compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to have happiness.”

5.    Self-confidence is vital to making a better world

Self-confidence built on an awareness of your own potential is vital to making yourself and others better.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom:

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“With the realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. According to my own experience, self-confidence is very important. That sort of confidence is not a blind one; it is an awareness of one’s own potential. On that basis, human beings can transform themselves by increasing the good qualities and reducing the negative qualities.”

6.    Self-discipline is your best defense against negative emotions

Negative emotions like anger, bitterness, hate, and jealousy bring about disasters of epic proportions in modern life. We can combat and diffuse negative emotions by exercising self-discipline: self-discipline is your fortress.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Live in a Better Way: Reflections on Truth, Love and Happiness:

“Self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combating negative emotions, should be a defensive measure. At least we will be able to prevent the advent of negative conduct dominated by negative emotion. That is ‘shila‘, or moral ethics. Once we develop this by familiarizing ourselves with it, along with mindfulness and conscientiousness, eventually that pattern and way of life will become a part of our own life.”

7.    Success does not come merely by luck

Successful people are not successful merely by luck. There is a cause for success. Hard work breeds success. You must not just sit and wait for luck to smile at you. We merit success by working for it.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Answers: Discussions with Western Buddhists:

“It is our custom to say that someone is “lucky” or “unlucky” if they meet with fortunate or unfortunate circumstances, respectively. It is however, too simplistic to think in terms of random “luck.” Even from a scientific point of view, this is not a sufficient explanation. Should something unfortunate happen, we immediately think, “Oh, how unlucky!” And yet this is not sufficient to explain what happened – there must be a cause. We seem to call “luck” that factor which overrides external conditions to bring about a positive situation. But that too is a cause; it is an inner cause, which we call “merit.”

8.    No action is meaningless in a community

Society exists as a collection of individuals. Every effort is important; every individual action significant. No action is meaningless. You must take initiative and be responsible for your actions to move communities forward.

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In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Love and Compassion:

“Sometimes we feel that one individual’s action is very insignificant. Then we think, of course, that effects should come from channeling or from a unifying movement. But the movement of the society, community, or group of people means joining individuals. Society means a collection of individuals, so that initiative must come from individuals. Unless each individual develops a sense of responsibility, the whole community cannot move. So therefore, it is very essential that we should not feel that individual effort is meaningless- you should not feel that way. We should make an effort.”

9.   Tomorrow’s events depend very much on today’s actions

What we do today has a direct impact on our tomorrow. So, learn from yesterday, do your best today, and reap the fruits tomorrow.  

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from Live in a Better Way: Reflections on Truth, Love and Happiness:

“According to Buddhism, there is a commensurate relationship between cause and effect where pain and pleasure are concerned. The immediate cause is karma. Karma means action. Tomorrow’s events depend very much on today’s actions, this year’s events on last year’s, while this century’s events are linked with those of the previous centuries. The actions of previous generations affect the lives of the generations that follow. This is also a kin of karma. However, there is a difference between actions carried out by a group of people or sentient beings jointly, and actions carried out by single person. In individual cases, the actions of the earlier part of one’s life have an effect on the latter part of one’s life.”

10.   Calmness of mind is a supreme source of mental happiness

Calmness of mind brings mental tranquility and happiness even in difficult and trying times. Have a calm mind and nothing will shake you.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom:

“We often speak of the external enemy. For example, in my own case, our Chinese brothers and sisters are destroying Tibetan rights and, in that way, more suffering and anxiety develops. But no matter how forceful this is, it cannot destroy the supreme source of my happiness, which is my calmness of mind. This is something an external enemy cannot destroy. Our country can be invaded, our possessions can be destroyed, our friends can be killed, but these are secondary for our mental happiness. The ultimate source of my mental happiness is my peace of mind. Nothing can destroy this except my own anger.”

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11.   True tranquility springs from fewer personal requirements

True tranquility calls for fewer personal requirements and higher involvement in community.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Meditations:

“As far as your personal requirements are concerned, the ideal is to have fewer involvements, fewer obligations, and fewer affairs, business or whatever. However, so far as the interest of the larger  community is concerned, you must have as many involvements as possible and as many activities as possible.”

12.   Our own survival is tied to the survival of the natural environment

No matter how much we try to disengage from our natural environment, our own survival as a species is tied to the survival of the natural environment.

In the Dalai Lama’s own words from The Dalai Lama, A Policy of Kindness:

“Just as we should cultivate more gentle and peaceful relations with our fellow human beings, we should also extend that same kind of attitude towards the natural environment. Morally speaking, we should be concerned for our whole environment. This, however, is not just a question of morality or ethics, but also a question of our own survival. For this generation and for future generations, the environment is very important.

If we exploit the environment in extreme ways, we may receive some benefit today, but in the long run, we will suffer, as will our future generations. When the environment changes, the climatic condition also changes. When the climate changes dramatically, the economy and many other things change. Our physical health will be greatly affected. Again, conservation is not merely a question of morality, but a question of our own survival.”

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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