Advertising
Advertising

12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

It happens to more people than you would think.  Something unexpected happens and you think to yourself “This person is not the one.”  Or “Can I find better?” Every relationship at one point or another is tested and for some, the end result is that you let your loved one go hoping to find someone that is more compatible.  What if you never find this perfect person?  Now you start thinking about the one you let go.  Here are some signs that maybe you did let the wrong person go.

1. You are constantly thinking about them every day for a long time.

As you go through your normal day they are constantly on your mind.  You let go because of all the bad times you had, but now all you think about are the good times.  You think about how much you miss them because of their smile, their personality, their charm, kindness, or whatever turned you on when you first met them.

 2. You have yet to meet another person you are more impressed with in your life.

During your search for Mr. or Ms. Right you are always finding a reason why they just don’t compare to the one you let go.  The flaws that helped you decide to let them go now seems incredibly small.

Advertising

3. You have never loved anyone more deeply even if you did love again.

You fell in love again but it is not the same deep feeling of love you had with the one you let go.  You wonder if it is even possible to love that deep again.

 4. You know that the person you let go makes up much of the person you are today.

When you think back, you realize that this person really made an impact in your life and you would not be where you are today without them.  Many of your good characteristics came from the help of the one you let go.

 5. You know that if that person needed you, you’d immediately drop everything to help.

With out a doubt, if the one you let go contacted you out of the blue, you would not hesitate and would be helping them in any way they asked.

Advertising

6. Your best times were with that person.

Looking back at your past, most of the best times you had in your life were when you were with the person you let go.  These memories always flash through your mind and you catch yourself smiling when they do.

7. You know it’s too late, but your gut screams otherwise.

Maybe it’s too late but you can’t help but think about what it would be like to be with them.  You cannot let go of your feelings and keep wondering if you should try to contact them.

8. You realize that all the reasons you let them go were all wrong.

At the time your reasons may have been valid, but today you know these reasons were brought on by feelings that were blurry.  When you think back and see the past you second guess your reasons why you let go.

Advertising

9. You always hope you run into them when you are out.

When you are out shopping, or meeting friends for a few drinks, you always keep your eyes on the lookout in case you happen to get lucky and see them out and about.

10.You still check your inbox thinking they just might send you an email.

If you used to get emails from the person you let go, you always watch for their name when checking your email.  Sometimes the only reason you are checking your email is to see if for some reason they are emailing you.

11. You sometimes wonder if they are thinking about you.

You are thinking about them, but are they thinking about you?  Wouldn’t you like to know?

Advertising

12. You day dream about what life would be like with them today.

Do you see yourself with them laughing, having fun, and enjoying life together?

It happens, and when you realize that you let the wrong person go, you can either reach out and try contacting this person, or keep your past in the past and live for the present.  This is a difficult decision, but sometimes the tough decisions are the best ones you will make.

Featured photo credit: Melina Souza via flickr.com

More by this author

15 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People 5 Must Read Self Help Books You Never Heard Of How To Be Less Emotional If Your Team Lost In World Cup let go 12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

Trending in Communication

1 11 Red Flags in a Relationship Not To Ignore 2 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When Feeling Stuck 3 Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating 4 7 Simple Ways To Be Famous In One Year 5 How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

Advertising

The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

Advertising

The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

Advertising

Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

Advertising

The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

Read Next