Advertising
Advertising

12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

It happens to more people than you would think.  Something unexpected happens and you think to yourself “This person is not the one.”  Or “Can I find better?” Every relationship at one point or another is tested and for some, the end result is that you let your loved one go hoping to find someone that is more compatible.  What if you never find this perfect person?  Now you start thinking about the one you let go.  Here are some signs that maybe you did let the wrong person go.

1. You are constantly thinking about them every day for a long time.

As you go through your normal day they are constantly on your mind.  You let go because of all the bad times you had, but now all you think about are the good times.  You think about how much you miss them because of their smile, their personality, their charm, kindness, or whatever turned you on when you first met them.

 2. You have yet to meet another person you are more impressed with in your life.

During your search for Mr. or Ms. Right you are always finding a reason why they just don’t compare to the one you let go.  The flaws that helped you decide to let them go now seems incredibly small.

Advertising

3. You have never loved anyone more deeply even if you did love again.

You fell in love again but it is not the same deep feeling of love you had with the one you let go.  You wonder if it is even possible to love that deep again.

 4. You know that the person you let go makes up much of the person you are today.

When you think back, you realize that this person really made an impact in your life and you would not be where you are today without them.  Many of your good characteristics came from the help of the one you let go.

 5. You know that if that person needed you, you’d immediately drop everything to help.

With out a doubt, if the one you let go contacted you out of the blue, you would not hesitate and would be helping them in any way they asked.

Advertising

6. Your best times were with that person.

Looking back at your past, most of the best times you had in your life were when you were with the person you let go.  These memories always flash through your mind and you catch yourself smiling when they do.

7. You know it’s too late, but your gut screams otherwise.

Maybe it’s too late but you can’t help but think about what it would be like to be with them.  You cannot let go of your feelings and keep wondering if you should try to contact them.

8. You realize that all the reasons you let them go were all wrong.

At the time your reasons may have been valid, but today you know these reasons were brought on by feelings that were blurry.  When you think back and see the past you second guess your reasons why you let go.

Advertising

9. You always hope you run into them when you are out.

When you are out shopping, or meeting friends for a few drinks, you always keep your eyes on the lookout in case you happen to get lucky and see them out and about.

10.You still check your inbox thinking they just might send you an email.

If you used to get emails from the person you let go, you always watch for their name when checking your email.  Sometimes the only reason you are checking your email is to see if for some reason they are emailing you.

11. You sometimes wonder if they are thinking about you.

You are thinking about them, but are they thinking about you?  Wouldn’t you like to know?

Advertising

12. You day dream about what life would be like with them today.

Do you see yourself with them laughing, having fun, and enjoying life together?

It happens, and when you realize that you let the wrong person go, you can either reach out and try contacting this person, or keep your past in the past and live for the present.  This is a difficult decision, but sometimes the tough decisions are the best ones you will make.

Featured photo credit: Melina Souza via flickr.com

More by this author

15 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People 5 Must Read Self Help Books You Never Heard Of How To Be Less Emotional If Your Team Lost In World Cup let go 12 Signs You’ve Let The Wrong Person Go

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next