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11 Warning Signs That You’re Settling For Less In Life

11 Warning Signs That You’re Settling For Less In Life

Studies show that two-thirds of Americans are unhappy. That’s ridiculous. Whether you want to get out of a bad relationship, move across the country, start a business, dye your hair green or go to the moon, check this list for warning sings than you’re settling for less than you deserve.

1. You are always tired

If you get eight hours of sleep and are otherwise healthy, you shouldn’t be tired at one o’clock in the afternoon. Excitement about life gives you energy. If you get tired early in the day or have trouble getting out of bed, your life isn’t giving you the excitement and energy you need to make it through the day. You’re bored. Do something.

2. You keep saying “after”

You delay going after your dream until after this happens or after that happens because you are afraid you’re going to fail. You believe that if you don’t start, you can’t fail. That’s a great way to avoid failure, but a terrible way to live a satisfying life. The time is never going to be perfect. In fact, the timing probably will never even be good. Waiting for a time that is never going to arrive will keep you settling for less. Act now.

3. You blame other people

People do mean, harmful and illegal stuff all the time. But that’s not the reason you haven’t achieved what you want. Every successful person got dirt kicked in their face at some point — probably several times. They were successful anyway. Whether it’s someone who maliciously harmed you, the government, the economy or any other force, blaming them gives your power to them. Don’t do that. It’s like giving your opponent brass knuckles in a fight.

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4. You don’t think you can

Nobody who did anything ever said it was easy. It’s always hard and always worth it. Don’t mistake hard for impossible. When you catch yourself saying, “I can’t do that,” punch yourself in the face. Then ask yourself if you actually can’t do it or are just saying that because it’s hard. Do hard things.

5. You think a lot, but do little

You think a lot about what you want to achieve, but you take little or no action. You dream about it, but don’t do it. If you consistently think about something, you really need to do it. It’s stuck in your head for a reason. Nobody on their death bed ever said, “I’m really glad I thought about that thing my whole life but never did it.” Think less and do more.

6. You keep saying, “someday”

“Someday” is worse that “after.” You keep saying that you’ll pursue your dream someday. It really means “when some unknown thing happens, I’ll do that thing I really want to do. You’re punting life. Kick the ball as hard as you can.

7. You rip on successful people

You hate other people only because they have achieved something — their lifestyle, their money, their relationships. You think people who have succeeded are greedy, lucky or dishonest. This keep you settling for less, and puts up an artificial barrier to success. You are training your mind to believe the lie that success is for greedy, lucky and dishonest people. Since you are probably none of those things, your subconscious mind is learning that success is not for you. Celebrate other peoples success.

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8. You are playing small and you think it’s OK

You tell yourself that settling for less is OK. You make up silly excuses for why it’s OK to keep playing small. You believe that playing small is safer and more practical.

“So many of us choose our paths in life out of fear disguised as practicality”

Jim Carey

At the end of your life, do you want to reflect on how safely you played the game? Play the game to win. You might lose. Losing is part of winning.

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9. You read stuff like this

If you read about Kim Kardashian’s latest drama or other worthless celebrity gossip, you are settling for less. You only have 24 hours in each day and limited time on this earth. You might argue that you enjoy celebrity news or gossip, but is that what you most want to do? If there is nothing else you’d rather be doing, continue reading that stuff. If not, use that time to take steps toward your goal.

10. You are jealous

Everyone else seems to have a better life. They are happier, wealthier, have better relationships and are generally better off than you. You’re a little (maybe a lot) pissed about it. Take note of even the most subtle anger or negativity toward successful people. If you are pursuing life with everything you’ve got, you’ll be excited to celebrate the success of others.

11. Food, alcohol, or TV are the highlight of your day

You know what I’m talking about. All day long you’re thinking about that beer, glass of wine, burger, or the latest episode of Breaking Bad. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things unless they are consistently the highlight of your day. Unless a cheeseburger, beer and the latest episode of American Idol is all you want out of life, you are settling for less than you deserve. Go after something you really want.

Each of these is a result of fear. You believe that if you fail, your dream will die. Yet that dream is what keeps you going every day. You don’t have to accept failure as an option. You can keep going after your goal no matter what.

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“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.”
― Babe Ruth

The alternative is settling for less for the rest of your life. You deserve better. Take one step today.

Featured photo credit: photo credit: FatMandy via photopin via media.lifehack.org

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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