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Not A Confident Person? You Will Know How To Be One After Reading This.

Not A Confident Person? You Will Know How To Be One After Reading This.

Based on the movie poster, I’m not thinking I’ll like Fight Club 2…
The key to success (whether in a relationship, job, or personal endeavor) is confidence. It’s been scientifically proven that people are attracted to tenacity, and the way you’re perceived can change based on your level of personal mettle. If you want to improve every aspect of your life, boost your confidence with these easy steps.

1 – Cleanliness Is Close to Confidence

When you wake up, cleaning yourself up should be among your first priorities. A routine of heading to the bathroom to wash up starts your day off right; you’re the star of your own personal movie, and a trip to the green room will make you feel like a million bucks inside, no matter what your bank account says. Keeping clean will also make you less self-conscious around other people, as your thoughts won’t be lingering on whether or not your breath smells, or there’s an odor coming from your armpits, feet, etc.

2 – Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

While you’re cleaning up in the bathroom, it’s difficult not to look in the mirror, as they’re usually equipped. Look yourself in the eyes and see what it is that other people see when they look at you. Practice saying and doing things in the mirror to understand how you’re coming off to the outside world. Also give yourself a pep talk. You’ll see in the mirror the way someone reacts when they truly care about you, so you’ll have a bar to measure people with.

3 – Think about It

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Where did I put that damn HDMI cable?

    Where did I put that damn HDMI cable?

    We are our own God; regardless of who or where you are, you’re responsible for the way you interact with the world. If you want to be confident, you have to think confident. This means not doubting yourself–instead, coach and motivate yourself. The power of positive and negative thinking can transform you, and, since you’re you, it’s in your best interests to have a positive mindset about yourself.

    4 – Dress to Impress

    Everyone judges everyone. When you see someone dressed up, you naturally treat them with more respect than you would someone sloppy–it’s like how you drive a little better when there’s a cop driving behind you (unless you’re rich or daddy’s a politician), and you don’t mouth off to a soldier (unless you’re a hippie or insurgent). Here’s a tip: store security dresses up in pressed black clothes to look like cops and deter you from theft for a fraction the cost of real bacon (and with less cholesterol).

    5 – Be Prepared

    Athletes watch hours of footage every day to study themselves and their opponents. Artists paint thousands of pictures, play thousands of songs, and dance thousands of dances before their work registers in your senses. People may be born with certain strengths and weaknesses, but preparation for the events in your life makes a world of difference in improving how confident you are.

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    6 – Improve Your Posture

    Dear Santa, In what universe is a piano a drum set?

      Dear Santa, In what universe is a piano a drum set?

      Don’t slouch! When you’re hunched over, you look smaller. Have you ever seen a nature video? In the animal kingdom, a common survival method is to bulk up (or at least make yourself appear larger). This works on people too. You don’t see the President or a CEO hunched over looking at their feet, so why are you?

      7 – Move with a Purpose

      The way you walk goes a long way in affecting how you’re perceived. The WWE is a great place to see this in the wild. Though not allowed to compete in the Olympics, professional wrestlers have a style about them. Each individual wrestler is defined by their entrance, their strut, and their attitude well before they earn that undisputed championship belt. It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose; it’s how you strut that counts. Just don’t get all Spider-Man 3 about it.

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      8 – Look People in the Eye

      This dog...was owned by Rapper, Ice T...here's the proof...

        This dog was owned by Rapper, Ice T…here’s the proof

        Feeling confident means having power over your surroundings; it means people around you are treating you the way you want. Looking someone in the eye is a great way to show people you’re confident. This will build trust, and you’ll be more attuned them, picking up their visual cues. If you learn to read these cues, you’ll be able to convince yourself you can control the world around you with the power of your own voice.

        9 – Stick to Your Guns

        Remember all those positive things you said to yourself in the mirror? Continue saying them throughout the day. You have to reinforce your confidence; it’s not something you decide to be, and it magically happens. Sticking to your guns also means standing up for what you believe in. Doing so will give you the confidence to say what you mean and mean what you say, no matter what anyone thinks of you.

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        10 – Learn and Burn

        Study and exercise are the best ways to boost your confidence. There’s a certain power you get knowing you’re the smartest person in the room. Knowing that you’re able to defend yourself is powerful as well. Your energy levels will be higher, you’ll be more alert, and you’ll be a constantly-evolving person. I’m confident there are no downsides to studying and exercising.

        11 – Baby Steps to Success

        Above all else, know that it takes baby steps to get anywhere in life. Overnight success doesn’t exist; it’s a myth, just like Zeus, unicorns, and a decent movie with the word “vs.” in the title. Don’t get frustrated if things don’t go as planned, and don’t give up–continue planning, acting, doing, and gaining the confidence to succeed.

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        Last Updated on February 25, 2020

        5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

        5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

        “Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

        It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

        Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

        Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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        1. Embrace the Complexity

        Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

        Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

        “If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

        It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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        2. Find Balance, Regain Control

        Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

        Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

        Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

        3. Fight with Patience

        My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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        Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

        Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

        4. Keep Swimming

        Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

        Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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        Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

        5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

        And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

        Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

        Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

        Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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