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11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

Letting go is one of the hardest things to figure out in life. As your emotions usually cloud your logic, and because your feelings make it harder for you to concentrate, it seems like the art of letting go can be confusing and complicated.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Should you let go of a particular person, of your current job, of your past feelings or of your resentment? Or should you hold on and let them consume you altogether? These 11 signs tell you to let go and let yourself live:

1. You’re expected to sacrifice your personal values and change into someone you’re really not.

In this life, your personal values and your vision are the things that make you who you are fundamentally. If your job or your lover or your friend forces you to be someone you’re not, let go. You are never going to be truly anyway.

2. Your trust is continuously broken.

You’re vulnerable when you’re in love with an idea, a person, an event, or an accomplishment. They say that loving is letting the other party hurt you, but you’re trusting them not to do this, right? Well, if your lover consistently hurts you, or your loved ones consistently don’t care about your feelings, let go. You’ve already been hurt countless times; what makes you think the pain will stop if you continue holding on?

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3. Staying in it always makes you feel broken, depressed and frustrated.

You truly dislike your job, your lover or your business. You don’t even know why you entered this in the first place. You hate who you’re with or what you’re doing. You’re not motivated to continue with it. 

4. You feel inferior.

Your self-worth is always under-appreciated. It seems like you never feel good anymore. You’re always taken for granted. Everyone expects you to show up, but when you’re already there, you’re not even respected! When it seems like you’re the only one doing the chasing, please do yourself a favor and just stop. Doing this is like beating yourself up everyday—just let go.

5. You justify that it’s worth holding on, when it’s really not.

“Oh, he forgot my birthday because she was busy…” 

“He never introduced me to his friends because he tells me they’re not his real friends anymore…”

“My business partner didn’t mean to get us bankrupt; I’m sure he has a plan…” 

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“I love my job even though I’m always stressed and I never get a chance to spend time with my loved ones…right?” 

Look at yourself and really listen to what you’re saying: do you honestly believe yourself? No. So let go.

6. You can’t remember the last time you were happy.

When was the last time you were truly happy—as in really content, really satisfied and really comfortable with yourself? Don’t force yourself, my friend. If you really can’t remember, it’s time to let go and move on.

7. You find that you’re always the one making sacrifices.

Are you always the one who has to give up more time? More money? More input? Are you consistently the one who experiences more pain? More frustration? More anxiety? Go ahead and do yourself a favor and stop chasing.

8. Express yourself—when was the last time you did that?

If you find that your opinions are always suppressed and your feelings are never acknowledged, why are you still holding on? You know you’re better than this.

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9. You refuse to acknowledge the present because it hurts too much.

Instead of facing the present situation, you choose to live in the past because in the past, happy memories are there to comfort you. You live in a delusion and you try to fool yourself into thinking that everything will work out in the end, even though every fiber in your being knows that it’s not.

10. There’s inconsistency. Every single time.

When the person you’re dealing with has a gift with words, it’s so easy to take the back seat and allow yourself to be swayed. However, keep in mind that not everything can be fixed via words. If he’s saying one thing and then acting another way, it’s usually a bad sign.

Your business partner says he’ll fix it but he never makes an effort to do so? Let go.

Your lover promises that he’ll never cheat again, but he does. Let go.

Your loved ones promise that they’ll act according to what makes you happy, but they don’t? Let go.

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11. You’ve already exhausted all your efforts but everything stays the same.

When you’ve done everything that you could, when all the promises that were made are just empty words, when it’s not worth your time, your money, your tears or your frustration anymore…

Let go.

You’re not living in a fairy tale. People break promises. Lovers hurt you. Your business partners can fool you. Not everyone out there is looking out for you.

Remove the toxic thought that holding on can change things.

Let go and let live. You know you deserve to.

More by this author

Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

The Ultimate Morning Routine for Success of Highly Successful People 10 Key Elements of Effective Meetings to Avoid Wasting Time 9 Surprising Benefits Of Kimchi That Will Make You Want To Try It Now 11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go This Old Woman Has Lived On A Cruise Ship For 7 Years

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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