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11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

Letting go is one of the hardest things to figure out in life. As your emotions usually cloud your logic, and because your feelings make it harder for you to concentrate, it seems like the art of letting go can be confusing and complicated.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Should you let go of a particular person, of your current job, of your past feelings or of your resentment? Or should you hold on and let them consume you altogether? These 11 signs tell you to let go and let yourself live:

1. You’re expected to sacrifice your personal values and change into someone you’re really not.

In this life, your personal values and your vision are the things that make you who you are fundamentally. If your job or your lover or your friend forces you to be someone you’re not, let go. You are never going to be truly anyway.

2. Your trust is continuously broken.

You’re vulnerable when you’re in love with an idea, a person, an event, or an accomplishment. They say that loving is letting the other party hurt you, but you’re trusting them not to do this, right? Well, if your lover consistently hurts you, or your loved ones consistently don’t care about your feelings, let go. You’ve already been hurt countless times; what makes you think the pain will stop if you continue holding on?

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3. Staying in it always makes you feel broken, depressed and frustrated.

You truly dislike your job, your lover or your business. You don’t even know why you entered this in the first place. You hate who you’re with or what you’re doing. You’re not motivated to continue with it. 

4. You feel inferior.

Your self-worth is always under-appreciated. It seems like you never feel good anymore. You’re always taken for granted. Everyone expects you to show up, but when you’re already there, you’re not even respected! When it seems like you’re the only one doing the chasing, please do yourself a favor and just stop. Doing this is like beating yourself up everyday—just let go.

5. You justify that it’s worth holding on, when it’s really not.

“Oh, he forgot my birthday because she was busy…” 

“He never introduced me to his friends because he tells me they’re not his real friends anymore…”

“My business partner didn’t mean to get us bankrupt; I’m sure he has a plan…” 

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“I love my job even though I’m always stressed and I never get a chance to spend time with my loved ones…right?” 

Look at yourself and really listen to what you’re saying: do you honestly believe yourself? No. So let go.

6. You can’t remember the last time you were happy.

When was the last time you were truly happy—as in really content, really satisfied and really comfortable with yourself? Don’t force yourself, my friend. If you really can’t remember, it’s time to let go and move on.

7. You find that you’re always the one making sacrifices.

Are you always the one who has to give up more time? More money? More input? Are you consistently the one who experiences more pain? More frustration? More anxiety? Go ahead and do yourself a favor and stop chasing.

8. Express yourself—when was the last time you did that?

If you find that your opinions are always suppressed and your feelings are never acknowledged, why are you still holding on? You know you’re better than this.

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9. You refuse to acknowledge the present because it hurts too much.

Instead of facing the present situation, you choose to live in the past because in the past, happy memories are there to comfort you. You live in a delusion and you try to fool yourself into thinking that everything will work out in the end, even though every fiber in your being knows that it’s not.

10. There’s inconsistency. Every single time.

When the person you’re dealing with has a gift with words, it’s so easy to take the back seat and allow yourself to be swayed. However, keep in mind that not everything can be fixed via words. If he’s saying one thing and then acting another way, it’s usually a bad sign.

Your business partner says he’ll fix it but he never makes an effort to do so? Let go.

Your lover promises that he’ll never cheat again, but he does. Let go.

Your loved ones promise that they’ll act according to what makes you happy, but they don’t? Let go.

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11. You’ve already exhausted all your efforts but everything stays the same.

When you’ve done everything that you could, when all the promises that were made are just empty words, when it’s not worth your time, your money, your tears or your frustration anymore…

Let go.

You’re not living in a fairy tale. People break promises. Lovers hurt you. Your business partners can fool you. Not everyone out there is looking out for you.

Remove the toxic thought that holding on can change things.

Let go and let live. You know you deserve to.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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