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11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

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11 Signs That Tell You It’s Time to Let Go

Letting go is one of the hardest things to figure out in life. As your emotions usually cloud your logic, and because your feelings make it harder for you to concentrate, it seems like the art of letting go can be confusing and complicated.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Should you let go of a particular person, of your current job, of your past feelings or of your resentment? Or should you hold on and let them consume you altogether? These 11 signs tell you to let go and let yourself live:

1. You’re expected to sacrifice your personal values and change into someone you’re really not.

In this life, your personal values and your vision are the things that make you who you are fundamentally. If your job or your lover or your friend forces you to be someone you’re not, let go. You are never going to be truly anyway.

2. Your trust is continuously broken.

You’re vulnerable when you’re in love with an idea, a person, an event, or an accomplishment. They say that loving is letting the other party hurt you, but you’re trusting them not to do this, right? Well, if your lover consistently hurts you, or your loved ones consistently don’t care about your feelings, let go. You’ve already been hurt countless times; what makes you think the pain will stop if you continue holding on?

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3. Staying in it always makes you feel broken, depressed and frustrated.

You truly dislike your job, your lover or your business. You don’t even know why you entered this in the first place. You hate who you’re with or what you’re doing. You’re not motivated to continue with it. 

4. You feel inferior.

Your self-worth is always under-appreciated. It seems like you never feel good anymore. You’re always taken for granted. Everyone expects you to show up, but when you’re already there, you’re not even respected! When it seems like you’re the only one doing the chasing, please do yourself a favor and just stop. Doing this is like beating yourself up everyday—just let go.

5. You justify that it’s worth holding on, when it’s really not.

“Oh, he forgot my birthday because she was busy…” 

“He never introduced me to his friends because he tells me they’re not his real friends anymore…”

“My business partner didn’t mean to get us bankrupt; I’m sure he has a plan…” 

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“I love my job even though I’m always stressed and I never get a chance to spend time with my loved ones…right?” 

Look at yourself and really listen to what you’re saying: do you honestly believe yourself? No. So let go.

6. You can’t remember the last time you were happy.

When was the last time you were truly happy—as in really content, really satisfied and really comfortable with yourself? Don’t force yourself, my friend. If you really can’t remember, it’s time to let go and move on.

7. You find that you’re always the one making sacrifices.

Are you always the one who has to give up more time? More money? More input? Are you consistently the one who experiences more pain? More frustration? More anxiety? Go ahead and do yourself a favor and stop chasing.

8. Express yourself—when was the last time you did that?

If you find that your opinions are always suppressed and your feelings are never acknowledged, why are you still holding on? You know you’re better than this.

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9. You refuse to acknowledge the present because it hurts too much.

Instead of facing the present situation, you choose to live in the past because in the past, happy memories are there to comfort you. You live in a delusion and you try to fool yourself into thinking that everything will work out in the end, even though every fiber in your being knows that it’s not.

10. There’s inconsistency. Every single time.

When the person you’re dealing with has a gift with words, it’s so easy to take the back seat and allow yourself to be swayed. However, keep in mind that not everything can be fixed via words. If he’s saying one thing and then acting another way, it’s usually a bad sign.

Your business partner says he’ll fix it but he never makes an effort to do so? Let go.

Your lover promises that he’ll never cheat again, but he does. Let go.

Your loved ones promise that they’ll act according to what makes you happy, but they don’t? Let go.

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11. You’ve already exhausted all your efforts but everything stays the same.

When you’ve done everything that you could, when all the promises that were made are just empty words, when it’s not worth your time, your money, your tears or your frustration anymore…

Let go.

You’re not living in a fairy tale. People break promises. Lovers hurt you. Your business partners can fool you. Not everyone out there is looking out for you.

Remove the toxic thought that holding on can change things.

Let go and let live. You know you deserve to.

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More by this author

Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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