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10 Ways To Instantly Have Confidence

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10 Ways To Instantly Have Confidence

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Fear exists at the heart of every unfulfilled dream.  If there is something in our life that we want, we are going to have to confront some fears in order to get it.  Having confidence in our ability to achieve goals, to move forward in the face of fear, and to accomplish our desires, is critical if we are going to live a life that is personally fulfilling and meaningful. Not everyone is born with natural confidence.  Some people struggle, and for many people, difficult circumstances in their own lives can really impact their self confidence.

 

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So what can be done?  Anyone can develop more self confidence if they take some simple actions and, more importantly, build these actions into habits.

Here are 10 ways to instantly have confidence.

1.  Put a Little Effort Into Our Appearance

Sounds simple, but it really works.  When we put effort into our appearance, our dress, and our grooming, we feel better about ourselves.  Does this mean that we have to be savvy to all the latest fashions and spend a large chunk of our savings on wardrobe upgrades?  Not likely.  The most important thing is that we build a habit of doing the best with what we have, and small simple improvements in the ways we present ourselves will have a positive impact on how we feel and our confidence.  A secret weapon when it comes to our appearance:  shoes.  Take good care of our shoes.  Upgrade them if necessary.  Good looking shoes go a long way for a good feeling person.

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2.  Do An Act Of Service For Someone Else

This is critical.  We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to our emotions.  Many times, we feel bad about ourselves simply because we are focused too much on “our self”.  Getting outside of the self can be truly refreshing, empowering and goes a long way to building your self confidence.  Where to start?  Look around, there are people everywhere.  Find someone and do something nice for them. Then find someone else and do something nice for them.  After a while, you’ll be amazed at how great you feel.

3.  Be Prepared

Sometimes a lack of confidence is as simple as a lack of preparation.  Nervous about that job interview?  How well did we prepare?  Nervous about that upcoming exam?  How well did we study? Nervous about not making those sales targets?  What was our preparation like?  How effectively did we work?  Action is the best antidote to anxiety and fear. Being perfectly prepared for whatever we are about to do will give us confidence.  When we know that we have made the best possible preparations for what we are about to do, we will be more confident.

4.  Take A Look At Our Posture

Seems funny, but it actually works.  How do  you stand?  Do you slouch?  What is your posture like when you are sitting?  When you stand up straight, and sit with correct posture in your chair, you feel better about yourself.  You’re able to breath easier and this oxygen supply does wonders for your brain and our body.  You need oxygen to feel good and sometimes your lack of oxygen can be traced to poor posture.

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5.  Set a “Micro-Goal” And Achieve It

Confidence is based on a belief that we are capable of achieving things, therefore we don’t need to be scared.  Sometimes we get into a rut where we don’t feel like we are capable of achieving anything.  When this happens it can be hard to start, and big goals seem almost out of the question.  So what you need to do in this instance is to set a “micro-goal” and then achieve it.  A “micro-goal” is a very small goal that is in your power.  For instance, if you have a sales based career, simply make a goal of picking up the phone and calling 5 people.  Don’t even focus on making a sale.  Just achieve the goal of calling.  Why does this work? Because it gives you momentum and it signals the brain that you can achieve things. If you do it over and over and over again – set a small goal and then achieve it –  you’ll will be pleasantly surprised at how you feel.

7.  Change One Tiny Habit

When we get stuck in a “confidence rut” it can be very hard to change major habits.  We just don’t believe that we are capable of change, and we don’t have the momentum to support our desire.  So I’m not talking about changing big habits here, like “stop smoking”.  I’m talking about tiny habits, like making a bed, or waking up 10 minutes earlier, or choosing a salad instead of fries.  Tiny habits work because, like setting micro-goals, they give us momentum.  Once you change one thing, you’ll want to change others, and best of all, you develop confidence from your past victories.  Since you have changed one thing, you know you are capable of changing others.

8. Smile

Sounds trite, but it really works.  When we smile we are happier.  When we are happier we have more self-confidence.  It’s also contagious.  Think about you day-to-day life.  When you go for a coffee break and the server gives you a warm smile, does it make you upset?  Does it make you angry and really depressed?  Not at all.  Sometimes that little gesture is exactly what you need to make you feel better about what is otherwise a difficult day.  When you smile, and when others smile at you, we all feel better. When you feel better, you have more confidence.

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9.  Make A List of 10 Things That We Are Grateful For

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools against depression and lack of confidence.  What is one of the quickest ways to feel grateful?  Simply make a list.  Make a list of 10 things that you are grateful for.  When the list is done, read it.  By the time you’ve done that, you’re sure to feel better about yourself.  You realize that life isn’t that bad and that there are many good things in your life, right now.  This attitude of gratitude helps you feel more confident about moving forward and making new things happen.

10.  Get Active and Start Exercising

As Tony Robbins has said, “emotion is created by motion”.  If we want to feel good, we need to move and breathe.  Moving increases our oxygen intake which increases our happiness and general sense of well being.  Exercising cuts fat, builds muscle and improves our skin tone and appearance.  We will instantly feel better because of the oxygen intake, but if we make this step a lasting habit, we will also soon reap the benefits of looking into the mirror and being pleased with the results that we see – results that we have created through our actions. This will increase our confidence.

More by this author

Ryan Clements

A lawyer turned marketing professional, entrepreneur and writer who writes about entrepreneurship, career and personal development.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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