Advertising
Advertising

10 Ways To Fix A Bad Relationship

10 Ways To Fix A Bad Relationship

How would you rate your relationship on a scale of 1-10? If you answered “5” or less, you are in a bad relationship that needs some fixing.

BORED?

Would you describe your life with your significant other as a routine? Nothing is more boring than monotony. Here’s five easy ways to give your relationship a little OOMPH! 

1. Make time for each other.

Absence is rumored to make the heart grow fonder, but that doesn’t mean your relationship can thrive without any time devoted to it.  Life gets busy, especially if you have kids/school/a job/a second job and OMG, ALL THE THINGS; but your relationship is a priority no matter how full your plate may be. Have a daily, 10-minute mini-date where you snuggle up with a silly YouTube video, take a quick walk, have some ice cream, or whatever you both enjoy.

Advertising

2. Switch up date-night.

Dinner-and-a-movie is a staple for a reason (because it’s fun), but it can grow stale without the occasional mix-up. For example: You could grab coffee or hot cocoa, go to a park on a breezy day and find yourself with a perfect excuse to cuddle.

3. Take an adventure.

Do something exciting together! You could take a cruise, go on a road-trip, jump out of a plane, visit a rain forest, or climb Mt. Everest.

4. Learn something new.

Tackle a hobby of mutual interest with your partner. Whether you want to learn to speak Italian, become a Jeopardy contestant or create handmade jewelry is up to you. Challenging yourselves to grow will strengthen your bond and shake-up your ho-hum love life.

Advertising

5. Create a Bucket List.

Make a list of all the crazy, ambitious, and wonderful things you want to do with your partner. Be happy you have someone to share your life with. Take small steps to make your Bucket List items happen.

ANGRY?

There is no reason to bottle up our feelings in relationships. I know you might be intimidated by conflict, but there is no hiding from it. Sure, you could just keep saying “nothing is wrong,” but that would only delay the inevitable. Feelings that are held in have a way of intensifying. Pissed off? Take a deep breath and let’s deal with it:

6. Count to 10.

If you find word vomit escaping your lips, one of those hurtful things you know you’re going to regret saying later, hold it in and count to ten. Breathe in. Breathe out. Still want to say it? Go for it. Not so much? Crisis averted.

Advertising

7. See it from the other side.

“It was a great surprise to me when I discovered that most of the ugliness I saw in others, was but a reflection of my own nature.” -Anonymous

Before you criticize another person, take a second to look at the scenario from their perspective. Most people act the way they do for a reason. See yourself in their eyes to make sure the problem doesn’t reside in yourself.

8. Give and receive.

Did you get a wonderful back rub after a rough day at the office? Return the favor (or surprise your partner with a tasty dessert or coffee at work). A perceived imbalance in who puts the most into your relationship can make a person upset in a hurry. Split chores and housework fairly, take turns deciding what to have for dinner, and aim for equality in your relationship.

Advertising

9. Express yourself with no filter.

You can’t expect your partner to know something is wrong if you don’t tell them. Express your feelings without filter (especially if you’re being asked “What’s wrong?” repeatedly). Confrontation isn’t fun but it’s also unavoidable. Dragging out a fight is just going to place unnecessary strain on your relationship, so get it over with and express yourself.

10. Appreciate each other.

What do you find sexy or handsome about your partner? Do they have any quirks you find wonderful? What is the sweetest thing they ever did for you? Sometimes, we’re so busy focusing on our partner’s negative traits that we forget to appreciate what we have and what made us fall in love with them in the first place.

Were you a part of a bad relationship that has since been repaired? If so, tell us how you fixed it in the comments! 

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

4 Ways Physical Touch Helps Your Relationship 10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful 9 Surprising Benefits of Being Single That No One Has Told You Before 7 Ways To Let Go Of Insecurity In Your Relationship

Trending in Communication

1 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 2 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 3 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 4 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next