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10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

Anyone that has been in a long term relationship knows that the spark can fade. This is perfectly normal; after all, it’s unrealistic to expect it to be as exciting as it was in the beginning. This doesn’t mean that the fun and spark should die entirely though. Here are some tips and tricks on how to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

1. Share your memories

Never stop remembering the amazing times you spent together. Let your significant other know how much certain events and time spent with them meant to you by actually telling them. Don’t fall into the trap of just living in the past. You should want to create new memories and not just be stuck in the past.

2. Recreate your first date

Hopefully you’re doing this for fun, and not because you have amnesia or something.

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One cute way to bring spark into your relationship is to recreate a time when everything was new and exciting. Unless your first date was an unmitigated disaster, why not recreate it for your significant other? Just don’t try and force it. It’s okay if things don’t go 100% to plan. You want it to be a fun night of reminiscing, not desperate and sad.

3. Never stop flirting

One of the most exciting parts before the start of a relationship, or toward the beginning, is the flirtation. Just because you become more familiar with one another doesn’t mean that you should let that die. Keep making cute suggestive comments and sending flirty text messages. If you love the person, you should want to keep making him feel special.

4. Go on a second honeymoon

Or if you’re not married, at least take the time to go on a sexy vacation with your love. The weight of everyday life can make it incredibly easy to suck the romance out of our lives. Sometimes you just need to get away and rediscover your passion for one another.

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5. Don’t stop kissing

Remember kissing? It’s that thing that you used to not be able to get enough of.

It’s incredibly important to not let kissing go flying out of your relationship. And no, a quick peck on the lips or cheek before you leave for work doesn’t count. Take the time and effort to plant a mad pash on your loved one every day. It’s such a simple technique that can do wonders in regards to keeping the intimacy alive, as well as making each other feel sexy and desirable.

6. Smile more often

So many people say that one of their favourite features in a mate is their smile. So why do so many of us stop doing it once we’re in the middle of a long term relationship? Be mindful that you’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company, and that smiling is a big part of that.

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7. Laugh more often

Similar to above, laughing is essential to a healthy relationship. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend; if you can’t have fun and a good laugh with them, then something is seriously wrong. Take the time to rediscover your shared sense of humor.

8. Play dress up

I’m in no way an advocate for changing yourself to make someone else happy, but there’s nothing wrong with dressing up every now and then. It’s a healthy expression of your sexuality and can be a hell of a lot of fun. If you know that your partner has a particular fetish, interest, or kink, indulge in it for a night. He’ll be thrilled and will more than likely be willing to do the same for you.

9. Be honest

The above isn’t possible without being honest with your partner. If there’s something that you enjoy, whether it be in or out of the bedroom, share it with her. If you don’t feel like you can be honest about those kinds of things, you need to ask yourself why.

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10. Invest in your relationship

In our busy modern world it can be incredibly easy to stop investing time in your relationship and let it fall into a rut. As with anything, relationships needs to be nurtured and encouraged, particularly when they’re long term. Think about it: a relationship that spans years and decades will not stay the same the entire time. A million different things can change during that time, including the people involved. Therefore, it makes sense that time needs to always be taken to keep it healthy, interesting, fun and loving.

Featured photo credit: help to go/Valéria Almeida via flickr.com

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Tegan Jones

Commercial editor for global publications Gizmodo, Kotaku, Lifehacker & Business Insider.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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