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10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

Anyone that has been in a long term relationship knows that the spark can fade. This is perfectly normal; after all, it’s unrealistic to expect it to be as exciting as it was in the beginning. This doesn’t mean that the fun and spark should die entirely though. Here are some tips and tricks on how to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

1. Share your memories

Never stop remembering the amazing times you spent together. Let your significant other know how much certain events and time spent with them meant to you by actually telling them. Don’t fall into the trap of just living in the past. You should want to create new memories and not just be stuck in the past.

2. Recreate your first date

Hopefully you’re doing this for fun, and not because you have amnesia or something.

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One cute way to bring spark into your relationship is to recreate a time when everything was new and exciting. Unless your first date was an unmitigated disaster, why not recreate it for your significant other? Just don’t try and force it. It’s okay if things don’t go 100% to plan. You want it to be a fun night of reminiscing, not desperate and sad.

3. Never stop flirting

One of the most exciting parts before the start of a relationship, or toward the beginning, is the flirtation. Just because you become more familiar with one another doesn’t mean that you should let that die. Keep making cute suggestive comments and sending flirty text messages. If you love the person, you should want to keep making him feel special.

4. Go on a second honeymoon

Or if you’re not married, at least take the time to go on a sexy vacation with your love. The weight of everyday life can make it incredibly easy to suck the romance out of our lives. Sometimes you just need to get away and rediscover your passion for one another.

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5. Don’t stop kissing

Remember kissing? It’s that thing that you used to not be able to get enough of.

It’s incredibly important to not let kissing go flying out of your relationship. And no, a quick peck on the lips or cheek before you leave for work doesn’t count. Take the time and effort to plant a mad pash on your loved one every day. It’s such a simple technique that can do wonders in regards to keeping the intimacy alive, as well as making each other feel sexy and desirable.

6. Smile more often

So many people say that one of their favourite features in a mate is their smile. So why do so many of us stop doing it once we’re in the middle of a long term relationship? Be mindful that you’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company, and that smiling is a big part of that.

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7. Laugh more often

Similar to above, laughing is essential to a healthy relationship. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend; if you can’t have fun and a good laugh with them, then something is seriously wrong. Take the time to rediscover your shared sense of humor.

8. Play dress up

I’m in no way an advocate for changing yourself to make someone else happy, but there’s nothing wrong with dressing up every now and then. It’s a healthy expression of your sexuality and can be a hell of a lot of fun. If you know that your partner has a particular fetish, interest, or kink, indulge in it for a night. He’ll be thrilled and will more than likely be willing to do the same for you.

9. Be honest

The above isn’t possible without being honest with your partner. If there’s something that you enjoy, whether it be in or out of the bedroom, share it with her. If you don’t feel like you can be honest about those kinds of things, you need to ask yourself why.

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10. Invest in your relationship

In our busy modern world it can be incredibly easy to stop investing time in your relationship and let it fall into a rut. As with anything, relationships needs to be nurtured and encouraged, particularly when they’re long term. Think about it: a relationship that spans years and decades will not stay the same the entire time. A million different things can change during that time, including the people involved. Therefore, it makes sense that time needs to always be taken to keep it healthy, interesting, fun and loving.

Featured photo credit: help to go/Valéria Almeida via flickr.com

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Tegan Jones

Commercial editor for global publications Gizmodo, Kotaku, Lifehacker & Business Insider.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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