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10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

10 Tricks to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship

Anyone that has been in a long term relationship knows that the spark can fade. This is perfectly normal; after all, it’s unrealistic to expect it to be as exciting as it was in the beginning. This doesn’t mean that the fun and spark should die entirely though. Here are some tips and tricks on how to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

1. Share your memories

Never stop remembering the amazing times you spent together. Let your significant other know how much certain events and time spent with them meant to you by actually telling them. Don’t fall into the trap of just living in the past. You should want to create new memories and not just be stuck in the past.

2. Recreate your first date

Hopefully you’re doing this for fun, and not because you have amnesia or something.

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One cute way to bring spark into your relationship is to recreate a time when everything was new and exciting. Unless your first date was an unmitigated disaster, why not recreate it for your significant other? Just don’t try and force it. It’s okay if things don’t go 100% to plan. You want it to be a fun night of reminiscing, not desperate and sad.

3. Never stop flirting

One of the most exciting parts before the start of a relationship, or toward the beginning, is the flirtation. Just because you become more familiar with one another doesn’t mean that you should let that die. Keep making cute suggestive comments and sending flirty text messages. If you love the person, you should want to keep making him feel special.

4. Go on a second honeymoon

Or if you’re not married, at least take the time to go on a sexy vacation with your love. The weight of everyday life can make it incredibly easy to suck the romance out of our lives. Sometimes you just need to get away and rediscover your passion for one another.

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5. Don’t stop kissing

Remember kissing? It’s that thing that you used to not be able to get enough of.

It’s incredibly important to not let kissing go flying out of your relationship. And no, a quick peck on the lips or cheek before you leave for work doesn’t count. Take the time and effort to plant a mad pash on your loved one every day. It’s such a simple technique that can do wonders in regards to keeping the intimacy alive, as well as making each other feel sexy and desirable.

6. Smile more often

So many people say that one of their favourite features in a mate is their smile. So why do so many of us stop doing it once we’re in the middle of a long term relationship? Be mindful that you’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company, and that smiling is a big part of that.

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7. Laugh more often

Similar to above, laughing is essential to a healthy relationship. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend; if you can’t have fun and a good laugh with them, then something is seriously wrong. Take the time to rediscover your shared sense of humor.

8. Play dress up

I’m in no way an advocate for changing yourself to make someone else happy, but there’s nothing wrong with dressing up every now and then. It’s a healthy expression of your sexuality and can be a hell of a lot of fun. If you know that your partner has a particular fetish, interest, or kink, indulge in it for a night. He’ll be thrilled and will more than likely be willing to do the same for you.

9. Be honest

The above isn’t possible without being honest with your partner. If there’s something that you enjoy, whether it be in or out of the bedroom, share it with her. If you don’t feel like you can be honest about those kinds of things, you need to ask yourself why.

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10. Invest in your relationship

In our busy modern world it can be incredibly easy to stop investing time in your relationship and let it fall into a rut. As with anything, relationships needs to be nurtured and encouraged, particularly when they’re long term. Think about it: a relationship that spans years and decades will not stay the same the entire time. A million different things can change during that time, including the people involved. Therefore, it makes sense that time needs to always be taken to keep it healthy, interesting, fun and loving.

Featured photo credit: help to go/Valéria Almeida via flickr.com

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Tegan Jones

Tegan is a passionate journalist, writer and editor. She writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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