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10 Tips To Help You Get Through The Day When Experiencing A Loss

10 Tips To Help You Get Through The Day When Experiencing A Loss

All human beings at some point in our lives reach a stage where situations seem to be out of our control. Be it a personal loss, relationship breakup, financial misfortune or job loss, these lead to stress affecting us emotionally, physically or mentally resulting in depression, anger, anxiety and health issues. How can we cope with it?

1. Connect

Do not isolate yourself. Reach out to your loved ones, family, friends especially those who are empathetic and positive. Unburdening your feelings will make you feel more at peace and sharing it with someone will bring faster healing.

2. Consider age-old wisdom

If you have lost a loved one, cherish his or her memory and know he or she is in a better place. This is fate but his or her love will remain with you forever. He or she may have wanted you to move on.

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If you have suffered a financial loss, know gains and losses are a part of life. You were happy before you had what you think you have lost. You still have the ability to get back and even double that. So look at what you have left and make the most of it. According to Holy scripture the Bhagvad Gita says,

“You came into this world with nothing and will leave this world empty-handed. Whatever is yours today belonged to somebody else yesterday and will belong to someone else tomorrow. Whatever happened in the past was for your good, whatever is happening now is for your good and whatever will happen tomorrow will also be for your good.”

If you had a relationship breakup or lost your job, learn from what went wrong so going forward you can have a successful second inning. You may have invested your emotions, time and energy wholeheartedly but things did not turn out as expected. High expectations bring frustration so do your part next time but keep your expectations low. The only thing permanent in life is change and all things happen for a reason. You will realize this once the storm has passed.

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3. Exercise

Follow a daily routine of at least 20 minutes of cardio or yoga to beat the blues. Studies show working out releases a feel-good hormone that makes you feel better.

4. Pick up a hobby

Release your emotions through any activity of your interest be it painting or dancing. Listening to upbeat or soothing music or watching happy or funny movies is also a proven remedy. After all laughter is the best medicine.

5. Food

Foods such as dark chocolate, fish and fruits such as oranges are recommended by science to uplift your mood.

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6. Take a break

If possible, change your surroundings. Go away to some place peaceful where you can get alone time or be with someone you love. This will distract you and allow you to introspect. You will get a refreshed view of how to start anew.

7. Practice mindfulness

Go out in nature preferably in the evening hours when the sun is about to set. This is the time one feels most depressed. Breathe deeply and observe the beauty around you. Doing so will make you feel calm.

8. Give back

Life throws challenges to make you more humble. Volunteer for a cause you believe in. You will realize you are not alone in your suffering. Some people’s miseries may even make yours seem insignificant in comparison.

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9. Keep the faith

Science has proven those who pray heal faster. Trust in the higher power to direct your path.

10. Think positive

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Time is a big healer and feel comfort in knowing your present ordeal has only made you stronger and wiser.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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