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10 Things You Can Do Today To Be A Gentleman

10 Things You Can Do Today To Be A Gentleman

Some guys never grow-up. Don’t be one of them! If you want to become a confident man who is capable of catching a female’s attention, check out these ten ways to be a gentleman.

1. Take a trip.

You can’t expect to have much of a perspective about the world if you confine yourself to the limits of your hometown. Traveling doesn’t have to be expensive; you could hop in your car and start driving without a destination in mind, explore a nearby town you’ve never heard of, split the cost of a beach trip with a group of friends, or take your partner on a discounted tropical cruise during an off-season.

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2. Adopt a pet.

If you ever feel lonely, please don’t fret, because I’m about to share the best cure for loneliness ever: pets! As a single guy who lives by himself, I am thankful for my dog (a beagle named Dixie), who serves as a cute little shadow that follows me around and makes me feel needed. Being a pet owner will teach you to be more caring and compassionate. That said, don’t even think about adopting an animal unless you’re 100 percent willing to take care of it. As an added bonus, dogs are scientifically proven to be lady magnets. Don’t believe me? Take Fido to the park during peak hours to test that theory.

3. Read a book.

While there isn’t anything “wrong’ with playing video games, you definitely don’t want to spend all of your time in front of a television screen. No woman (or man) will be impressed by how quickly you made it to the final boss battle, so you might want to read an interesting book or thought-provoking article that arms you with knowledge that could prove useful if you ever find yourself having an engaging conversation with a person you are attracted to and would like to invite to dinner.

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4. Find a hobby.

Life can get pretty boring in a hurry if your days consist of waking up, going to work, watching TV, sleeping, and eating some food in between. Do your friends often compliment your sense of humor? Combine your funniest jokes that seem to elicit the best reactions in a stand-up routine and perform it at an open mic night. Do you have a knack for giving speeches or presentations? Audition for a community theater play, take an acting class, or join a local toastmaster’s club. You could even learn something new like a foreign language, instrument, or technical skill like carpentry.

5. Throw a party.

I’m not suggesting you should hang flyers everywhere, especially if you’re a college student who could end up with a bunch of strangers showing up and making a mess. Instead, choose five or 10 of your closest friends, ask them to all bring a single dish or bottle of wine (coordinate this together so you don’t all end up bringing the same thing), and have a fun time together. If it’s a hit, you could make this a recurring occasion where a different person hosts the event every week or month.

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6. Learn to cook.

If you’re a grown adult, there is no excuse to be completely clueless in the kitchen. Having to rely on prepackaged foods and restaurants isn’t only bad for your health and expensive for your wallet, but also something a child would do. Get started with something basic like chicken tacos or a ham and cheese omelet. Keep practicing with a single dish, adjusting your recipe every time until you’re finally pleased with the result (when you think it might impress a female). Repeat this process consistently, moving up to more difficult recipes as time goes on, and you’ll be a master chef before you know it.

7. Keep a journal.

There is nothing “weak” or “sissy” about confronting your feelings. Letting the things that trouble you build up inside will only make them harder to deal with later, so it’s best to find an emotional outlet that allows you to express yourself without a filter. Reflecting about your struggles in a journal (or blog if you’re feeling brave) will help you better understand your personality, get over your struggles, and figure out what you hope to accomplish in the future.

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8. Meet new friends.

The best way to feel happy and positive? Simple. Surround yourself with happy and positive people. The impact of our social setting on our quality of life cannot be overstated. If you spend all of your time hanging out with people who judge you and complain about everything, don’t you think it might hard to stay positive yourself? This concept might sound too simple to be true, but the hard part is having enough courage to walk away from a friendship that isn’t worth having.

9. Pursue your passion.

It’s wonderful to have someone to love and share your life with, but it’s also insane to expect any person to be your single source of happiness. People who put all of their emotional stock into a relationship often end up with a broken heart that takes a long time to heal, because they foolishly invested all of their time and energy into that person (and as you know, not many relationships last forever). Besides, there aren’t many people that would appreciate having so much pressure placed on them — they would probably feel a lot better if you had an interest outside of your relationship — so it’s in your best interest to find something else to care about.

10. Stand for something.

I encourage you to live according to a set of ethics or principles that guide you in business and relationships. Those principles shouldn’t be governed by gender roles, societal standards, what your parents expect of you, or anything like that. Instead, they should be based on the lessons you have learned during this adventure called life. Don’t get too attached to whatever you decide, because you will evolve as you learn and grow and change your mind, but you should nonetheless follow a personal code that helps you act confidently and decisively when faced with difficult decisions.

If you’d like to help the men in your life be a gentleman, pass this article along by clicking the share button.

Featured photo credit: Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother/QuoteKo via quoteko.com

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Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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