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10 Signs You’re Dating the Wrong Person

10 Signs You’re Dating the Wrong Person

Do you have any exes who were so awful you can’t help wondering, “What the hell was I thinking?” Join the club. If you’d like to make sure you’re with Mr. or Ms. Right, watch out for these 10 signs you’re dating the wrong person.

1. You feel like you have to wear a mask.

If you’re putting on a song-and-dance in an elaborate attempt to impress your partner, you might be dating the wrong person.

Your partner should love you as you are. Does it feel like they are trying to mold you into an entirely different person? If so, it might be time to let them go.

2. They think the world revolves around them.

If it seems like your partner is more interested in how you fit in their world than they are with your individual needs, you might be dating the wrong person.

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Even though you just went to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving last year, he gets upset when you suggest visiting your parents this year. Despite the fact that she knows you haven’t had a night out with the guys in over a month because work’s been so busy, she pitches a fit because you’re not spending time with her. If your partner’s words and actions scream, “ME-ME-ME,” you should find someone who appreciates your needs (and not only theirs).

3. Your friends and family haven’t met them.

If you haven’t introduced your partner to your friends or family despite spending a decent amount of time together, you might be dating the wrong person.

Let’s just face it, shall we? There are only a few reasons why you wouldn’t introduce your partner to your friends or family, and none of them are pretty. If you’re so embarrassed by this person that you don’t want to invite them into your social circles, do everyone a favor and pull the plug.

4. They don’t really listen to you.

If your partner is always waiting for their turn to speak, you might be dating the wrong person.

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They always go off on tangents about their day at work, but never seem interested in yours. They always suggest where they’d like to go, but never seem to care what you think. If your partner does a whole lot of speaking (but never listens), you might want to find someone not so self-centered to share your life with.

5. Hanging out with them drains you.

If spending time with your partner exhausts you, you might be dating the wrong person.

Even the best of relationships include the occasional fight, but this should be the exception, not the norm. You should feel happy and alive with your partner, not sad and stuck.

6. You avoid difficult conversations.

If every difficult chat gets swept under the rug, you might be dating the wrong person.

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Should you bring up things like politics, religion, favorite sexual positions, or your desire to have five children on the first date? Probably not. But as the weeks and months and years go on, it becomes more and more important to have those tough (but necessary) conversations. If you want to have children but your partner doesn’t, you might have a problem. If your religion is a top priority but your partner is anything but a devout follower, you need to have a chat. If there’s something the matter, say so (because no, your partner isn’t a psychic).

7. Your relationship is their one and only interest.

If your partner has no hobbies or interests outside of your relationship, you might be dating the wrong person.

Who would want to date a person who isn’t passionate about anything? Tread carefully if your partner has zero life goals, because relationships with a person lacking ambition are anything but fulfilling. And that brings us to…

8. They expect 24/7 companionship.

If your partner is so clingy you want to scream, you might be dating the wrong person.

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It is unhealthy and unwise to expect a person to be your singular source of happiness. Alone time isn’t merely just something that would be nice to have, but rather a necessity for your mental health.

9. You never feel like you’re “good enough.”

If your partner never has anything nice to say, you might be dating the wrong person.

No matter how hard you try, you feel like you can’t do anything right. No matter how much you do, you feel like you always have to prove yourself. No matter how much you love them, you feel like they don’t return the feeling.

10. You can’t imagine a future together without laughing or crying.

If the thought of a life-long commitment makes you want to curl up in a ball and weep, you might be dating the wrong person.

I know the thought of being alone might not appeal to you, but staying in a relationship that is destined for failure is as silly as it gets. If you have no future with this person, end the relationship and find someone you can be happy with.

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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