“The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.” — Audrey Hepburn
Admit it, you enjoy when you are loved and are shown the affection you deserve, don’t you? Women tend to have the art of nurturing in them and often we try our best to please our partners and loved ones with little things. Those are the things that matter, those are the things that put a smile on your face, when you think of us on another rainy day or on your lunch break.
So what do women tend to do more of that touch their partners very much?Advertising
1. Loving deeply
It is true; if we love you, we will give you everything — heart and soul. Please be kind to our hearts. Profound and honest love is the basis to all successful relationships.
2. Touching with care
If you are hurt, we will be the first ones to offer you a hug and embrace you tightly, and not let go until you tell us to. We really care for your happiness and we will always try to give you the right amount of affection and whatever you need in a certain situation.
3. Kissing gently and trying to make it last
Women love to show you love and affection, if you let us. While not every woman is into showing it publicly, most women, if they are truly loved, will absolutely and most definitely kiss gently and long as a token of appreciation for her.Advertising
4. Cherishing our moments together
Women try to make the best of what we have with our beloved partners. Whether it is watching NFL with you or helping you with work, we cherish the time while it lasts and while it is there.
5. Flirting with you to keep you excited
Relationships without fun flirtations with one another will be as dry as the old oak leaves in mid-January. We keep it spicy and full of life by allowing one another to be flirty and sexy when we are together.
6. Giving you a thorough eye contact
In a conversation with a loved one, women tend to seek eye contact as a confirmation of listening and caring. Eye contact is important for us. We don’t care about looking at our phone, if you need us right here and now.Advertising
7. Communicating our love
Whether it is by cooking you a wonderful breakfast or kissing you more than usual, we try our best to let you know you are loved. Women love communications and when it comes to love we will tell you the “I love you” more than you asked for.
8. Massaging your back and head after a long day
Even after our own full day of work, if you are tired and are asking for a head massage or a back rub, you most likely will get it without us asking it in return. Why? Because we are sensitive to your needs and we know that a small touch goes a long way.
9. Texting you “I miss you” or “Thanks for being wonderful” when you’re at work
We are texters, yes! And we will text you simple “thank you”s, “I love you”s, “I miss you”s and many more short but heart warming truths to make sure that you know how much we appreciate and love you.Advertising
10. Yielding if you want to take charge
Most women love to give a partner a chance to take charge. Why? Because it makes us feel good to know that we have a reliable and dependable soul mate and we also want to make you feel good about yourself. Take charge, but don’t forget to give it back to us now and then.
So the next time you think about why your woman drove you crazy, please remember also think about all the wonderful things she has to offer, how deeply she loves, how insanely she cares and how your world without her sexy stubbornness would turn sour.
Featured photo credit: Courtney Carmody via flic.kr
Last Updated on July 8, 2020
How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often
Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?
For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.
But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.
It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.
Table of Contents
The Importance of Saying No
When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.
In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.
Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”
Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.
Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.
How We Are Pressured to Say Yes
It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’
From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.
We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.
And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.
The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.
How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.
The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No
1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.
2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time
Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.
3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters
When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.
6 Ways to Start Saying No
Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:
1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter
One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?
Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.
2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)
Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.
Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.
3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’
Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.
Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.
4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It
Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.
Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.
5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness
When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.
Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.
A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.
6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’
If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.
Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.
Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.
Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.
Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.
More Self-Care Tips
- How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life
- 12 Rules for Self-Management
- 40 Self Care Techniques To Rejuvenate And Restore Yourself
Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com