Advertising
Advertising

10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier

10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier

You’ve tried everything and its flat out not working; you just cant seem to make your life happier. You probably have a great family and friends, and happy home but there is something missing. What is that?

Getting to know yourself and why you do the things you do will help, tremendously, and an insight into your own actions can help you make necessary changes as well.What other simple changes can you make to experience a happier life; would you believe me if I told you this was even possible?

Well there are changes you can make and I’m about to share them with you right now.

Here are 10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier:

1. They live by their own rules

Its easy to follow along with what everybody else is doing – working a nine to five, following the latest fashion trends, keeping up with the neighbors, latest gadgets and so on. This can get to a point which can make you frustrated, lost and even not quite knowing why. The alternative is to realize your daily actions. Are you doing something because everyone else is doing it, or are you doing what you really want to do? Living by your own rules being consciously aware of your actions, doing the things in life not by any ones standards but your own.

In essence a happier life involves living by your own rules.

2. They accept who they are

You’re not ‘perfect’ and you never will be. This is actually a good thing because all those little quirks and weird (but wonderful) ideas you have make you special, they make you, you. Your gifts and talents are unique and exclusive to you only, your job is figure them out and use them to your advantage.

Chasing perfection is exhausting and a waste of time. Accept who you are, stop trying to be what you’re not and you’ll find true happiness” -Sarah Moores

3. They say goodbye to dream stealers

They are out there and probably closer than you think. In the form of your friends, family, teachers, spouses and society in general. These folk mean well but say the wrong thing most the time. It’s probably hard if loved ones try to sway you from what you want to do that doesn’t fit in with a conventional society, however your dreams are more important than what others have to say. Listening to someones ‘meaningful’ advice doesn’t have to mean you do what they say, especially when it comes to living the life of your dreams.

Beware the dream stealers, stay aligned and hold tight to your vision” – Kate Spence

4. They are grateful for everything in life

I received an email from one of my readers who said she was not happy and couldn’t manifest all the things she had been trying to bring into her life. I told her, instead of trying to ‘manifest’  new things into her life, start to be grateful for all you have. So now you know my secret to happiness; simply, gratitude.

Advertising

Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

5. They take full responsibility everyday

This is an important principal, only when you take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life will your life then be transformed. If you blame other people, the weather, or circumstances you are not taking control of your own life. So you’re probably thinking what does it actually mean to take responsibility for your life? It means making choices based on your current situation and no matter what do not not blame anything outside yourself.

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind but you can change yourself.” – Jim Rohn

6. They follow their dreams while enjoying the present

Following your dreams is possible with a little planning and work put in. To do this you must know your values, strengths and passions. Every great leader knows who they are and what they believe in and stand for. You should too. This will not only leave you with the confidence in knowing who you are and what you will do in life, but you will be way happier guaranteed! While you follow your dreams, don’t forget to enjoy the journey and make your life enjoyable now. Spend time with people that matter and do things that you really want to do.

Live a life you love – one designed for you, by following your dreams and enjoying each day!

7. They read

Reading is a cool and mind bending experience, allowing you to either get lost in an adventure or learn about stuff other people don’t know about. Reading can serve as a getaway and develop your creativity and imagination. It can also improve self worth by learning an area where you struggle, so it’s a great self help tool making your life much happier. Reading provides you with endless possibilities and feelings of emotional learning and fun!

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” –P.J. O’Rourke

8. They accept other people as they come

You may be the kind of person who finds others annoying by the the things they say or do, they make your life a misery, and when you are around them you get frustrated. You can flip this around by accepting others as they come – their quirks, annoyances, character and who they are. When you do you will find you have mastered the control of your own emotions by staying relaxed when other people used to annoy you. The truth is they are not annoying you they are being themselves.

Most people can’t understand how others can blow their noses differently than they do.” – Ivan Tugenev

9. They learn to be optimistic

I believe optimism is the secret to happiness and health; many studies have shown this to also be the case. Having a positive outlook on life and in everything you do will sure to make your life happier too. When you expect bad things to happen, they will, and you will always find things to be unhappy about. Being optimistic is about seeing past your current situation and seeing a positive end result. Even when this may not happen, optimistic people take on the attitude of getting past obstacles by learning from lessons and mistakes, but seeing a clear positive end result.

Advertising

Optimism is the medicine to your health and happiness

10. They know happiness is a choice

Bottom line… Happiness is a choice, you create your own happiness by realizing that happiness comes from within yourself. Happiness is a mindset, the way you manage the outcome to a situation. There are things that can give you happiness momentarily, like, money, cars, clothes, a big house etc, but true lasting happiness stays with you forever when you find it. Put into practice even just some of these things people do differently to make their life happier and you will see a positive change.

Remember:

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” – Valerie Bertinelli

Featured photo credit: Beauty Winter Girl Blowing Snow in frosty winter Park. Outdoors. Flying Snowflakes. Sunny day. Backlit. Joyful Beauty young woman Having Fun in Winter Park. Defocused via shutterstock.com

Advertising

More by this author

Diana Reid

CEO - Moxie House Ltd

How To Find Meaning in Life: 9 Simple Ways 10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier 15 Things Happy People Don’t Do What To Do As You Get More Stressful When Chasing Your Dreams Top 8 Reasons Why You SHOULD Get Angry

Trending in Communication

1 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 2 Why You Feel Lonely In Your Marriage And How To Deal With It 3 6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of 4 How To Spark A Positive Mood When Feeling Dull 5 5 Reasons You Will Never Be a Fighter

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

Advertising

2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

Advertising

  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

Advertising

This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

Advertising

6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

Read Next