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10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier

10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier

You’ve tried everything and its flat out not working; you just cant seem to make your life happier. You probably have a great family and friends, and happy home but there is something missing. What is that?

Getting to know yourself and why you do the things you do will help, tremendously, and an insight into your own actions can help you make necessary changes as well.What other simple changes can you make to experience a happier life; would you believe me if I told you this was even possible?

Well there are changes you can make and I’m about to share them with you right now.

Here are 10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier:

1. They live by their own rules

Its easy to follow along with what everybody else is doing – working a nine to five, following the latest fashion trends, keeping up with the neighbors, latest gadgets and so on. This can get to a point which can make you frustrated, lost and even not quite knowing why. The alternative is to realize your daily actions. Are you doing something because everyone else is doing it, or are you doing what you really want to do? Living by your own rules being consciously aware of your actions, doing the things in life not by any ones standards but your own.

In essence a happier life involves living by your own rules.

2. They accept who they are

You’re not ‘perfect’ and you never will be. This is actually a good thing because all those little quirks and weird (but wonderful) ideas you have make you special, they make you, you. Your gifts and talents are unique and exclusive to you only, your job is figure them out and use them to your advantage.

Chasing perfection is exhausting and a waste of time. Accept who you are, stop trying to be what you’re not and you’ll find true happiness” -Sarah Moores

3. They say goodbye to dream stealers

They are out there and probably closer than you think. In the form of your friends, family, teachers, spouses and society in general. These folk mean well but say the wrong thing most the time. It’s probably hard if loved ones try to sway you from what you want to do that doesn’t fit in with a conventional society, however your dreams are more important than what others have to say. Listening to someones ‘meaningful’ advice doesn’t have to mean you do what they say, especially when it comes to living the life of your dreams.

Beware the dream stealers, stay aligned and hold tight to your vision” – Kate Spence

4. They are grateful for everything in life

I received an email from one of my readers who said she was not happy and couldn’t manifest all the things she had been trying to bring into her life. I told her, instead of trying to ‘manifest’  new things into her life, start to be grateful for all you have. So now you know my secret to happiness; simply, gratitude.

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Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

5. They take full responsibility everyday

This is an important principal, only when you take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life will your life then be transformed. If you blame other people, the weather, or circumstances you are not taking control of your own life. So you’re probably thinking what does it actually mean to take responsibility for your life? It means making choices based on your current situation and no matter what do not not blame anything outside yourself.

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind but you can change yourself.” – Jim Rohn

6. They follow their dreams while enjoying the present

Following your dreams is possible with a little planning and work put in. To do this you must know your values, strengths and passions. Every great leader knows who they are and what they believe in and stand for. You should too. This will not only leave you with the confidence in knowing who you are and what you will do in life, but you will be way happier guaranteed! While you follow your dreams, don’t forget to enjoy the journey and make your life enjoyable now. Spend time with people that matter and do things that you really want to do.

Live a life you love – one designed for you, by following your dreams and enjoying each day!

7. They read

Reading is a cool and mind bending experience, allowing you to either get lost in an adventure or learn about stuff other people don’t know about. Reading can serve as a getaway and develop your creativity and imagination. It can also improve self worth by learning an area where you struggle, so it’s a great self help tool making your life much happier. Reading provides you with endless possibilities and feelings of emotional learning and fun!

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” –P.J. O’Rourke

8. They accept other people as they come

You may be the kind of person who finds others annoying by the the things they say or do, they make your life a misery, and when you are around them you get frustrated. You can flip this around by accepting others as they come – their quirks, annoyances, character and who they are. When you do you will find you have mastered the control of your own emotions by staying relaxed when other people used to annoy you. The truth is they are not annoying you they are being themselves.

Most people can’t understand how others can blow their noses differently than they do.” – Ivan Tugenev

9. They learn to be optimistic

I believe optimism is the secret to happiness and health; many studies have shown this to also be the case. Having a positive outlook on life and in everything you do will sure to make your life happier too. When you expect bad things to happen, they will, and you will always find things to be unhappy about. Being optimistic is about seeing past your current situation and seeing a positive end result. Even when this may not happen, optimistic people take on the attitude of getting past obstacles by learning from lessons and mistakes, but seeing a clear positive end result.

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Optimism is the medicine to your health and happiness

10. They know happiness is a choice

Bottom line… Happiness is a choice, you create your own happiness by realizing that happiness comes from within yourself. Happiness is a mindset, the way you manage the outcome to a situation. There are things that can give you happiness momentarily, like, money, cars, clothes, a big house etc, but true lasting happiness stays with you forever when you find it. Put into practice even just some of these things people do differently to make their life happier and you will see a positive change.

Remember:

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” – Valerie Bertinelli

Featured photo credit: Beauty Winter Girl Blowing Snow in frosty winter Park. Outdoors. Flying Snowflakes. Sunny day. Backlit. Joyful Beauty young woman Having Fun in Winter Park. Defocused via shutterstock.com

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Diana Reid

CEO - Moxie House Ltd

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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