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10 Things Parents Can Do To Make Their Kids Highly Successful

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10 Things Parents Can Do To Make Their Kids Highly Successful

Wanting the best for your children is a universal goal for all good parents. The best home, the best upbringing, the best school, the best life… Great parents simply want their children to have the optimum chance of success. Regardless of outside influences, all parents can instil values in their children to ensure they grow up to be healthy, responsible, successful adults.

1. Teach respect

Parents should instil a sense of respect in their children. Not just respect for all human beings and living things (although this is obviously important), but respect for everything in the world. Parents should show their children the value of respect as well; you earn respect by giving it out unconditionally. Teaching children to respect all aspects of life leads them to appreciate everything they have, and to learn the value of working to earn more.

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2. Teach tolerance

Children need to learn how to tolerate all other human beings on the planet. It does no good to look down on others; rather children should learn to help their fellow man when in need – since they may find themselves in need of help one day. Also, children should learn to tolerate those who have wronged them, and learn to understand why this may be (such as the bully who takes lunch money from others because his mom can’t afford to pack a lunch for him at all). There are things in this world that cannot be changed, and children that learn this will learn how to deal with these situations as best they can whenever they arise.

3. Teach responsibility

Parents should teach their children how to be responsible for their actions. It’s important for them to understand that what they do or say has far-reaching consequences, and whether or not these consequences are positive are negative is up to them. By going easy on your children when they do wrong, you ultimately are doing a disservice to them. It may be hard to discipline them, but keep the long run in mind. As adults, their actions will have much more serious consequences if they do wrong. On the other hand, teaching your children that positive actions result in positive rewards will put them on the path to success.

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4. Teach self-control

Children who learn how to control themselves will quickly become independent adults. Children who constantly have to be told to do their homework or clean their room rather than doing it on their own will eventually get lost when they find themselves living alone for the first time. Children should learn money management at a young age, and learn how to prioritize their resources (including their time), so when their parents are no longer around, they are not left wandering aimlessly. Keeping control during extraordinarily tough times is also important, so they do not dig themselves into a deeper hole by acting in a way that negatively affects them and those around them.

5. Teach honesty

Children need to learn to be honest, with others and with themselves. An honest child will grow into a trustworthy adult whose career will flourish. It’s incredibly important to instil in children the idea that, even if they do something they weren’t supposed to, it’s better to tell the truth about it rather than lie to avoid punishment. Children will make mistakes, but lying is not a mistake – it’s a conscious effort to outsmart an elder, which is disrespectful on many levels. Children should also be honest with themselves to continue improving on a daily basis. As they become more independent, they must be able to honestly look at aspects of their lives and analyze their choices. By being honest with themselves, children will continue to grow long after their parents can help them.

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6. Teach integrity

Having a high-paying job, a huge mansion, and beautiful sports car means absolutely nothing if they were gained through ill-gotten ways. On the other hand, having a modest home, a car that gets you from A to B, and a job that pays the bills is a true picture of success when it was earned through hard work and dedication. Children need to learn the difference between society’s vision of success and their own. Just like they need to learn to be honest even when they know they’ll get away with lying, children also need to learn to have integrity; they must always do what’s right, even when no one’s around. Whether or not you instil religious beliefs in them, teach your children the value of the angel on their shoulders, and how to squash the proverbial devil on the other.

7. Teach perseverance

So many children are so scared of not doing well that they never try. This applies to homework, tests, new hobbies, asking girls out, applying for a first job… kids are much more scared of the world than you think. Teach your kids that it’s totally okay to fail. What isn’t okay is letting life pass you by without ever trying. Be there to catch your children when they fall. Help them get up, dust them off, and throw them back into the fray. They need to know that failure is not the end of something, but is one of the many pathways to success. Their dream life will never simply “come true,” but they can earn it with hard work and perseverance.

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8. Teach gratitude

Teach your children to be grateful each and every day, for the things they have, and the people who care about them. Show them how to give thanks, such as doing chores without being asked, spending time with a relative, or writing a thank you note to a teacher for no special reason other than to give them credit for the hard work they do. Being grateful reinforces the idea that each of us has a civic duty to one another. Children who understand this will grow to be an integral part of their community, and will be valued by society since they are always focused on what they can do to help others.

9. Teach life skills

In between instilling values and teaching life lessons, parents also must remember to teach life skills to their children. Teach them how to wash dishes, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, change a tire, or use a snow plow. Make them do it, so they aren’t hit with the shock of having to do it all when they (finally!) move out. Teach them to make a list of errands to do on a daily basis, so even when they “don’t have anything to do,” there’s still ways they can improve their lives. They might resent you for the time being while you’re showing them how to unclog a sink and their friends are outside playing, but they will appreciate it when they don’t have to call a plumber every few weeks when they own their own home.

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10. Be a role model

Absolutely none of this can be done if you, as the parent, don’t model it for them. “Do as I say, not as I do” does not work (because the second you’re not around, they’ll be doing whatever they want). Be the person you want your child to be. In fact, be a better person than you’ve ever been in your life, if only for the benefit of your children. It is definitely hard work, but raising a model citizen is the most rewarding thing you can possibly do to boost your own confidence. Raising a child that can go out and make something of himself independently is the true definition of success.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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