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10 Things Nothing Else But A Heartbreak Will Teach You

10 Things Nothing Else But A Heartbreak Will Teach You

A heartbreak can act as a brake to your sweet fleeting life. And even the inundation of expert advice from your close ones, in such situations, proves ineffective because the one going through hell at that time is you, all alone, right? And this short journey through hell ultimately leads you to things that otherwise are “esoteric” (only meant or understood by a special group of people). So read on and acquaint yourself with these 10 things that only a heartbreak can teach you.

SPOILER ALERT: If you have previously gone through a heartbreak, you may empathize with the following given points.

1. Relationships cannot survive on love alone.

You might think that love is all you need in a relationship, but ask someone who has been rejected or heartbroken. Love is not the only key for a good relationship; there are various aspects to it. You might have heard people saying, “we both love each other so much, yet our relationship is on the rocks” or, “in spite of loving each other, we have decided on a mutual break-up.” Such statements might have confused you, but a person who has gone through a heartbreak very well understands it. A heartbreak will practically throw you out of your dreamy zone and familiarize you with reality.

2. Heartbreak is not just a metaphor.

Until you really witness the ordeal of a Heartbreak, you can only mock or sympathize with the people going through it. A heartbreak can only teach you that physical pain is not the worst kind of pain in the world; “heartbreak”is, because it isn’t just psychological—it’s physical as well.

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“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” —Laurell K. Hamilton

3. Feelings are untrustworthy.

Feelings are like vortex of emotions; they draw everything that surrounds them toward the center, sometimes engulfing your own life. So to trust on your feelings completely is not at all safe. And a heartbreak can very well teach you that. It can make you understand that your feelings are mere perceptions experienced by your body for particular situations. The feelings which once made you strong and steady can also make you weak and fragile and vice versa. So a crucial lesson a heartbreak can teach you is to judge people by their actions also and not entirely based on your feelings towards them.

4. Some doors are meant to be shut.

A Heartbreak can teach you the most important lesson of life which otherwise is hard to get: “Nothing in life is immortal.” In life, you might often wish that some good things always continue to exist, but you get all perplexed the moment they seem to cease. You must have dedicated some part of your life to making sure that good thing continues existing, but when such a thing gets lost, you are not able to let it go, and there will always a part in you that longs for it, making your life miserable. But only a heartbreak can teach you that it’s better to close some doors as they don’t lead anywhere.

“Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past because of one simple reason: they just don’t belong in our future.” —Anonymous

5. Self-adequacy.

The feeling of self-adequacy is the most important lesson a heartbreak can teach you. Self-adequacy implies that one views oneself as capable of dealing satisfactorily with problems or in the things one sets out to do. Well, before a heartbreak you think that your loved one is the person responsible for your happiness or either you are the one responsible for his problems or vice-versa, but the trauma of a heartbreak can very well make you understand your own competence or ability towards your own happiness. You realize that no one else but you yourself are responsible to either make or break your life.

6. Life still goes on.

“I love you and I’d rather be happy with you, than without you, but with or without you, life still goes on. I’ll be OK.”

The above quoted lines beautifully explain the feelings known to a heartbroken person. Prior to heartbreak, you cannot imagine a life without your loved one. You might feel that life would stop or everything around you will cease if your loved one is not there with you. But a heartbreak can grimly make you realize that time stops for no one and life goes on even when you are not ready.

7. Good and evil are two sides of the same coin.

From past times, it’s been said that good and evil are two sides of the same coin. Though that statement is quite baffling, a person gone through a heartbreak will definitely approve on that. Anyone who has been abandoned or rejected knows how the same person who was so good and caring earlier can become evil and harmful later. Even the idea of loving and hating the same person at one point that seems so weird to most of us, but it is an actual truth for a person who has been through heartbreak.

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8. Heartbreak illustrates your weaknesses.

“Some people pass through our lives for a reason to teach us lessons that could never be learned if they stayed.” —Mandy Hale

Yes, heartbreak can in a way prove beneficial to you. It can make you aware of your inner weaknesses. People are not able to accept their faults or become sullen if their weaknesses are pointed out by others. But a heartbreak can surely make you aware of your weak points, in a way giving you an opportunity for self-improvement.

9. Life is unpredictable.

A heartbreak can categorically teach you that surprises are a part of life. Prior to a heartbreak, no matter how much you planned for your future love life, it was all shattered into pieces. You received what was unexpected from life. You were sure about your lover and his or her insights, but what happened later was a violent blow on your predictions.

10. Enlightening love.

Last but not least, a heartbreak can enlighten you more about love than anything else in the world. You understand the complexities invoved with it. And no matter how much it might have hurt you, a heartbreak can never wipe out love from your heart. You don’t lose the power of being loved or to love someone entirely.

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“A baby is born with a need to be loved—and never outgrows it.” —Frank A. Clark

Featured photo credit: Alfonsina Blyde via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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