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Last Updated on August 24, 2018

10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect

10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect

We men are simple creatures but are generally misunderstood. There is more to men than just good look. Men appreciate what’s inside a woman too.

Here are the things that guys love:

1. We love it when you shoot us the first text of the day

James Michael Sama over at Huffington Post said it best.[1]

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“There is a lot of pressure for guys to always initiate conversation.”

That’s very true and starts out when we first meet you. We’re the ones who walk up to you in the bar. We’re the ones who have to call back after the third day or some such thing. When it comes to talking, we usually go first. Every now and then, it’s nice to wake up and see that good morning text from you.

2. We love it when you laugh

Laughter is always the best medicine and men love giving you your daily dose of it. We will literally act intentionally stupid to generate a laugh. We’ll overact when we hurt ourselves and act sassy and sarcastic to get a smile. We thrive on your laughter even if it comes at our expenses. Do us a favor and snicker a bit when we do something goofy because we’re doing it for you.

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3. We love your nurturing side

Generally speaking, we love to take care of you. It’s just what (most of us) are born to do. However, every now and then it’s nice to be taken care of. It never has to be anything absurd or grandeur. A back rub after a long day, a little soup when we’re sick, or a hug when we’re down is all we need. Few men will admit this, but we love it when we say to ourselves that we have a partner who takes care of us. It also makes us want to work harder to take care of you!

4. We love to cuddle

Now when I say we love to cuddle, I don’t mean that we love to cuddle form 11AM til 2AM the following morning. We’re men, we’re busy, and we have stuff to do. But if you want to cuddle on the couch while watching a movie or for a little while before bed, we’re totally down for that. The closeness makes us feel good and we like to make you feel safe. Chances are it’ll also put us to sleep but that’s the risk you run.

5. We love to talk about feelings

Just, you know, not our feelings. At least not all the time. We like hearing about your day and your triumphs and troubles. Your life is interesting to us (that’s why you’re in our life to begin with). Now, there is at least one rule to this. We love listening to you talk about your feelings but we mentally can’t handle doing it for like four hours at a time. That’s just ridiculous. Not one of the Lord of the Rings movies is that long. Just because we can’t listen all day long doesn’t mean we don’t care or we don’t want to. We’re men, we have short attention spans. Work with our weaknesses, please!

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6. We love it when you talk about us on Facebook

Not all the time. Okay, not even some of the time. Really all we’re asking for here is a cursory mention every now and then. When we go through the trouble of surprising you with something totally awesome, we love it when you want to tell your friends about it. Posting that you love your man 45 times a day is creepy and even your man thinks so. That said, if he happens to buy you that special thing you wanted for Christmas or makes a superb dinner, do him a favor, take a picture, post it on Facebook, and show some pride in your man.

7. We love it when you listen

I mean really listen. You know as well as I do that men don’t typically open up about our feelings, fears, frustrations, etc. When we do, it is because the topic is something important to us. We love when we finally decide to open up and you care enough to hear us out. I couldn’t tell you how many times I kept something bottled up and finally opened my mouth about it and my girlfriend sat there and listened to me. The weight comes off the chest and life is all good again. It’s a great feeling that we just can’t get from our guy friends.

8. We love it when you text us when you’re out with your friends

Any guy who says he is 100% jealousy free is a 100% liar. Even the most stable relationships in the world have that 1-2% that creeps into the brain and wonders how you’re doing. We’re not asking for you to give us a play-by-play recap of your night. Chances are when you’re out with your friends, we’re watching sports listening to a guy on TV give us a play-by-play of the game. We can only take one play-by-play at a time. All we want is like a “hello” or something every so often to let us know that you’re thinking about us. It makes us feel good and keeps that bit of jealousy all men have at bay.

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9. We love it when we’re needed

We may moan and groan when your car breaks down, that pickle jar won’t open, or that thing on the shelf is too high for you to reach and you ask us to help. It’s all an act. Secretly, we love helping you with these things. It makes us feel useful and that’s a feeling that’s important for a man. As with these other things, you shouldn’t go overboard with it. We like it when we’re needed but we also don’t want to spend the whole day following you around doing things for you. That’s not a relationship, that’s a job. We love being needed the most when you need help the most. It’ll take you four hours to get us to do the dishes but if you’re trapped under a bookcase and the house is burning down, you best believe we’re on that!

10. We love it when you appreciate us

Every now and then we love hearing that what we do is appreciated. Too many men on this planet go to work 40-60 hours a week, pay for the house, the food, and the bills without so much as a thank you. We know deep down you do appreciate it (at least we hope you do) but sometimes it feels really good to hear it out loud. Just something like “I know you worked hard to do this for me and I appreciate it” is good enough. It doesn’t have to be serious stuff like work and the mortgage. Dropping a “thank you my strong man” when we open the pickle jar is a really good way to get us to walk away smiling. The enticing part was my idea. You don’t have to use that if you don’t want to but secretly we love that too.

Thanks to the media, expectations, and other outside things, men have become a bigger mystery to women than women are to men. The fact is that the same thing that makes a man happy now is the same thing that made men happy 300 years ago. The times have changed and we have all changed with them for the most part. The one thing that has never changed is what makes us happy and generally, that’s you.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] HuffPost: 8 Things Guys Secretly Love

More by this author

Joseph Hindy

A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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