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10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect

10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect

We men are simple creatures but are generally misunderstood. There is more to men than just good look. Men appreciate what’s inside a woman too.

Here are the things that guys love:

1. We love it when you shoot us the first text of the day

James Michael Sama over at Huffington Post said it best.[1]

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“There is a lot of pressure for guys to always initiate conversation.”

That’s very true and starts out when we first meet you. We’re the ones who walk up to you in the bar. We’re the ones who have to call back after the third day or some such thing. When it comes to talking, we usually go first. Every now and then, it’s nice to wake up and see that good morning text from you.

2. We love it when you laugh

Laughter is always the best medicine and men love giving you your daily dose of it. We will literally act intentionally stupid to generate a laugh. We’ll overact when we hurt ourselves and act sassy and sarcastic to get a smile. We thrive on your laughter even if it comes at our expenses. Do us a favor and snicker a bit when we do something goofy because we’re doing it for you.

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3. We love your nurturing side

Generally speaking, we love to take care of you. It’s just what (most of us) are born to do. However, every now and then it’s nice to be taken care of. It never has to be anything absurd or grandeur. A back rub after a long day, a little soup when we’re sick, or a hug when we’re down is all we need. Few men will admit this, but we love it when we say to ourselves that we have a partner who takes care of us. It also makes us want to work harder to take care of you!

4. We love to cuddle

Now when I say we love to cuddle, I don’t mean that we love to cuddle form 11AM til 2AM the following morning. We’re men, we’re busy, and we have stuff to do. But if you want to cuddle on the couch while watching a movie or for a little while before bed, we’re totally down for that. The closeness makes us feel good and we like to make you feel safe. Chances are it’ll also put us to sleep but that’s the risk you run.

5. We love to talk about feelings

Just, you know, not our feelings. At least not all the time. We like hearing about your day and your triumphs and troubles. Your life is interesting to us (that’s why you’re in our life to begin with). Now, there is at least one rule to this. We love listening to you talk about your feelings but we mentally can’t handle doing it for like four hours at a time. That’s just ridiculous. Not one of the Lord of the Rings movies is that long. Just because we can’t listen all day long doesn’t mean we don’t care or we don’t want to. We’re men, we have short attention spans. Work with our weaknesses, please!

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6. We love it when you talk about us on Facebook

Not all the time. Okay, not even some of the time. Really all we’re asking for here is a cursory mention every now and then. When we go through the trouble of surprising you with something totally awesome, we love it when you want to tell your friends about it. Posting that you love your man 45 times a day is creepy and even your man thinks so. That said, if he happens to buy you that special thing you wanted for Christmas or makes a superb dinner, do him a favor, take a picture, post it on Facebook, and show some pride in your man.

7. We love it when you listen

I mean really listen. You know as well as I do that men don’t typically open up about our feelings, fears, frustrations, etc. When we do, it is because the topic is something important to us. We love when we finally decide to open up and you care enough to hear us out. I couldn’t tell you how many times I kept something bottled up and finally opened my mouth about it and my girlfriend sat there and listened to me. The weight comes off the chest and life is all good again. It’s a great feeling that we just can’t get from our guy friends.

8. We love it when you text us when you’re out with your friends

Any guy who says he is 100% jealousy free is a 100% liar. Even the most stable relationships in the world have that 1-2% that creeps into the brain and wonders how you’re doing. We’re not asking for you to give us a play-by-play recap of your night. Chances are when you’re out with your friends, we’re watching sports listening to a guy on TV give us a play-by-play of the game. We can only take one play-by-play at a time. All we want is like a “hello” or something every so often to let us know that you’re thinking about us. It makes us feel good and keeps that bit of jealousy all men have at bay.

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9. We love it when we’re needed

We may moan and groan when your car breaks down, that pickle jar won’t open, or that thing on the shelf is too high for you to reach and you ask us to help. It’s all an act. Secretly, we love helping you with these things. It makes us feel useful and that’s a feeling that’s important for a man. As with these other things, you shouldn’t go overboard with it. We like it when we’re needed but we also don’t want to spend the whole day following you around doing things for you. That’s not a relationship, that’s a job. We love being needed the most when you need help the most. It’ll take you four hours to get us to do the dishes but if you’re trapped under a bookcase and the house is burning down, you best believe we’re on that!

10. We love it when you appreciate us

Every now and then we love hearing that what we do is appreciated. Too many men on this planet go to work 40-60 hours a week, pay for the house, the food, and the bills without so much as a thank you. We know deep down you do appreciate it (at least we hope you do) but sometimes it feels really good to hear it out loud. Just something like “I know you worked hard to do this for me and I appreciate it” is good enough. It doesn’t have to be serious stuff like work and the mortgage. Dropping a “thank you my strong man” when we open the pickle jar is a really good way to get us to walk away smiling. The enticing part was my idea. You don’t have to use that if you don’t want to but secretly we love that too.

Thanks to the media, expectations, and other outside things, men have become a bigger mystery to women than women are to men. The fact is that the same thing that makes a man happy now is the same thing that made men happy 300 years ago. The times have changed and we have all changed with them for the most part. The one thing that has never changed is what makes us happy and generally, that’s you.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] HuffPost: 8 Things Guys Secretly Love

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Joseph Hindy

A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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