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10 Things To Accept And 10 Things To Change For A Better Life

10 Things To Accept And 10 Things To Change For A Better Life

We live in a world that is full of complainers – unfortunately. No matter how good someone’s life is, they can still find something wrong with it. But obviously not everyone is a complainer – thank goodness. But nonetheless, most of us do look at life and want to change some things here and there. Some things we can change. Others we can’t, and so we just need accept them. Here are 10 things you should accept and change:

1. Accept the choices you’ve made, change your next ones.

We all make mistakes. But I don’t really believe in “mistakes.” They are all really just learning opportunities. As we walk through life, sometimes learning the hard way is just how we have to do it. But don’t beat yourself up about it. Learn from the past. Use it as a guidepost of how to do it better the next time. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

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2. Accept those who hurt you, change those with whom you are surrounded.

It’s a sad truth, but you can’t trust everyone. I had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I’m probably not alone. Some people don’t mean to hurt you, and some do. Either way, forgive them. Do it as a gift to yourself. Release the negative energy of resentment and anger. It doesn’t serve you well. Then make new choices about people you spend time with. Cut those “energy vampires” out of your life. You know – the ones who drain you and suck out your life. Only tolerate positive, uplifting, growth-oriented behavior from other people into your lives.

3. Accept your body, change your health.

Do you want longer legs? To be taller? To have a smaller bone structure? Good luck with all that. All you can do is accept your body for what it is. Sure, you could spend a ton of money on plastic surgery to re-do your face, but why would you want to do that? Love yourself for who you are. Accept how you look. The only thing you can change is your health. If you want to lose weight, then commit to it! Change your eating and exercise habits. You will automatically feel better about your body and yourself.

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4. Accept your imperfections, change your idea of beauty.

There are no such things as “imperfections.” Our society has brainwashed us into thinking that if you don’t look like Angelina Jolie then you aren’t beautiful. That is hogwash! Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. That saying came about for a reason – because it’s true. Instead, look at your inner beauty. You can look like a movie star or super model, but if you’re rotten inside, then that is not beautiful. Likewise, you could be way outside of our culture’s standard of beauty, but if you shine your light from within, then that is gorgeous.

5. Accept your family, change your friends.

We don’t voluntarily choose our family. Because of that, it is sometimes difficult to accept them when the are making your life unpleasant. They might be critical, judgmental or demanding. As much as you want to change them, you can’t. All you can change is how you view them. Accept their behavior because you have to. However, if your so-called “friends” are exhibiting negative behavior, you do have the choice to walk away and find better companions.

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6. Accept your losses, change your earnings.

We all have losses of many types. They might be financial. They might be human. But all losses are painful. There is probably nothing you can do to get back what you lost. Maybe your money is gone in that bad investment you made. Maybe a loved one has departed this life. We can’t always get our losses back. But we can set our focus toward the future. We can look ahead with a positive attitude and decide to hold our heads up high and move onward.

7. Accept your situation, change your outlook.

One of Buddha’s famous quotes is: “It is your resistance to ‘What Is’ that causes your suffering.” In other words, there are some things we just cannot change. And if we keep fighting against that, then we are causing our own suffering. It’s not the situation that causes our suffering, it’s the fact that we are resisting it that causes your pain. So we have two choices: (1) keep fighting against a situation we don’t like and suffer as as result, or (2) accept the situation and change how we view it.

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8. Accept your fate, change your journey.

Our fate is not always welcomed. There are way too many people who get diagnosed with terminal illnesses, have broken marriages, lost too many loved ones, or simply lost their way. But sometimes the best gifts to the world come in the dark moments. There are many people who turned their painful fate into a meaningful path – for themselves and others. So just because you are dealt a bad hand of life at the moment, that it not where your journey has to end.

9. Accept where you are now, change where you’ll go.

Most people want to be better, richer, thinner, happier or more successful. And it’s great to have goals and want to improve. But growth and change starts with acceptance. When you resist your current situation, you are putting negative energy out into the situation – and the world. In order to change your path in life, you need to put forth positive energy and actions into creating a better future.

10. Accept the things you can’t change, change what you can’t accept.

As I said in #7, there are just some things in life you can’t change. Other people. Taxes. Those are just two of them. So instead of fighting against the things you can’t change, look to the things you can change. It’s much more productive to put your energy into change than it is into resistance. Resistance is pointless because it keeps you stuck. So move onward and upward toward positive change.

Life is a tricky balance of acceptance and change. We all walk the fine line between the two. But with some conscious focus and action, you can simultaneously accept and change for the good of all concerned.

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) How to Become a Motivational Speaker and Influence Millions of People Why It’s Okay to Hit the Wall and How to Overcome It Fast Are You In a Verbally Abusive Relationship? (And What to Do About It) 25 Pieces of Empowering Relationship Advice for Women

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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