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10 Relationship Mistakes that Women Make

10 Relationship Mistakes that Women Make

 A relationship is as it’s people are, imperfect, flawed, but mostly unique

Every relationship is unique. Sometimes women do things, often without realizing it, that can impair a relationship. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

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Stop Undervaluing Yourself

It’s very easy to be vulnerable and insecure in today’s world. You are constantly required to prove yourself and face success and failure almost successively. It is therefore easy to diminish one’s self esteem and self worth. Try not to undervalue yourself. Know that you are worth everything in the world and that everything you get, you deserve.

Stop Relying Completely On Your Partner

To lean on someone for support isn’t bad, however to depend on someone to the extent that they become a crutch is a very unhealthy idea that then makes your self-worth, your emotional stability and your happiness dependent on something you have no control over. Do rely on your partner for support, not for neediness .

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Stop Neglecting Communication

Sometimes it’s hard to understand someone. This is especially true if you’re upset, angry, or sad so it’s easier to just drop the topic of conversation. However it is always a good idea to talk, ask, communicate in a relationship especially if you feel like your cannot understand your partner’s need or his way of communicating. Doing so will strengthen your relationship and give both of you a better idea of each other.

Stop Trying to Change Him

Men and women in our generation and that preceding ours, (thanks to huge gender binary that we were brought up in) are quite different in the way they think, act, and behave. Not everyone , of course, but a lot of them. There will be things about your partner that you’ll like and there will be some you don’t. You would’ve probably preferred it if he didn’t have those traits, however, now that he does, take them with a pinch of salt and try to get used to them. Don’t try to change him to your liking, instead focus more on what you like and less on what you don’t!

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Stop Undermining What He Does for You

Some men are familiar with women’s ideas of romantic. However, most men, though absolutely loving, seldom keep up with a woman’s definition of romantic. Keep in mind that just because he doesn’t know the things you didn’t tell him, doesn’t make him uncaring. If there is something you want him to do, just tell him straight up. It’ll make your life easier and his too!

Stop Being Too Picky Over Things You Can’t Control

Memories are created by those who don’t fret the little details. Seldom do things in life go just the way you want them to. Getting upset when plans are changed is very normal, however to brood over those changes or throw tantrums or have constant snide remarks can ruin a memory in progress and spoil yours and your partner’s mood. Unless the change in plans is something you absolutely cannot accept and adversely affects your health or your safety, try to not sweat the details and instead enjoy the time with what can now be a surprise element!

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Stop Trying to Tie Him Down

As a way of ensuring security within the relationship, often some women tend to demand long term commitments. There is of course nothing wrong with wanting a secure lasting relationship, however you must bear in mind that by tying him down, you too will be tied down to a man, you may not even love five years from now. We all change and evolve as individuals and though the notion of growing old with someone or of marrying your high school sweetheart may seen enticing, it isn’t for everyone. So give yourself time and also him. To strengthen your relationship and eliminate the sense of insecurity, talk to your partner and together figure out a way to make you feel more secure.

Stop Cheating

There are no restrictions on ones thoughts and there shouldn’t be. To think freely is a basic right that we enjoy. However to act upon your thoughts is a very different story. Relationships go through difficult phases and it’s during those phases that we tend to be susceptible, a little insecure and sometimes unhappy. If that is the case, talk to your partner. In case you want something different that your current relationship cannot give you, then have courage and break it off. If not, then do not break the trust you and partner share, for a moment’s weakness or on an impulse. It’s absolutely imperative that you treat your partner they way you want your partner to treat you. So be loyal.

Stop Making His Decisions

We all like to have a certain degree of say in our partner’s choices and decisions. It makes one feel special and important, but many times we can overdo. Remember how it feels when someone interferes with your decision making? Exactly. Don’t make his decisions for him.

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Sanah Rizvi

Sanah is an influential public speaker and a devoted advocator of female rights.

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Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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