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10 Reasons Why People Who Care Less About What Others Think Are More Likely to Be Successful

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10 Reasons Why People Who Care Less About What Others Think Are More Likely to Be Successful

It is easy to listen others’ opinions and try to tailor our lives to match their standards of us. Yet many have lost their purpose and making their dreams a reality because they thought they were not good enough for those whom they listened to. In history these persons are forgotten, but the truly valiant and successful person is not concerned about what others say about him/her. Rather, they have a passionate interest in meeting with their goals. Take for example Winston Churchill, who was estranged from his political party between 1929 and 1939 because of his ideological differences. He understood what he stood for, and rather than succumb to what others said or thought about him, he stayed resolute. Later he did become the British Prime Minister and steered Britain out of World War II and victory against the German Army.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

—Oscar Wilde

1. They have a firm resolve to reach their destination.

Reaching their destination is more important than any current setback they may face. They understand that success takes grit, perseverance and patience. And that comes against obstacles, challenges and being self-motivated rather than riding on the tides of others’ opinions.

2. They know people’s opinions are in a flux.

We all are in a constant state of flux. According to philosophers and theorists, we are constantly changing. What successful people know is that if people’s wrong opinions are thwarted with their success, such opinion and thoughts change.

3. They are the ones with the goals.

The successful are responsible for their actions—this they know. If things go wrong in their lives, they bear the brunt and not every other person. Thus they take charge and make sure that they attain their dreams and desires against what others think of them. Even when Thomas Edison was told he was too stupid to learn anything he still went ahead to hold on to 1,000 patents. It was his responsibility to be successful and not his teachers.

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4. They understand that life is too short.

They appreciate the very essence of their being and why it is necessary to make every second of their existence count. Dilly-dallying or being consumed with other people’s opinion becomes a distraction, and so they focus on what should be done.

5. They know what is best for them.

What applies to another person may not apply to you. Successful people do not ride through the sea on another person’s ship but on their own, because they know that only the vessel they are familiar with can take them to the coast of their dreams.

6. They are consistent.

They understand that success takes consistency. To be successful means staying on a track for success rather than going through several routes. People’s opinions could affect this consistency and this they ignore.

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7. They know they cannot please everybody.

This is a hard truth. Not everyone will see the world the same way you see it. Living according to another’s expectation of you will only get you burned out and frustrated. Thus, they try to please themselves only.

8. They can deal with the complications of life

Many use their opinions or disapproval to get out of their complicated lives. By speaking against you they find a source to involve you in their complex lives. But successful can deal with the complicated approach life has presented to them by paying less attention to all the distractions before them.

9. They seek freedom.

Successful people are not prisoners. Imagine what must have been said of Walt Disney after being fired by his newspaper editors for “lacking imagination.” Even when his businesses failed before finally premiering “Snow White” he continued to seek freedom. According to Lao Tzu, “caring about what others think will only make you their prisoner.”

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10. They don’t need anyone’s approval.

Whatever successful people do shouldn’t be validated by others because it really doesn’t matter. Success is success and it speaks for itself. People can think whatever they want but the responsibility of attaining success will always be your business, and you do not need anyone’s approval to go after your dreams.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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