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10 Reasons Why People Who Care Less About What Others Think Are More Likely to Be Successful

10 Reasons Why People Who Care Less About What Others Think Are More Likely to Be Successful

It is easy to listen others’ opinions and try to tailor our lives to match their standards of us. Yet many have lost their purpose and making their dreams a reality because they thought they were not good enough for those whom they listened to. In history these persons are forgotten, but the truly valiant and successful person is not concerned about what others say about him/her. Rather, they have a passionate interest in meeting with their goals. Take for example Winston Churchill, who was estranged from his political party between 1929 and 1939 because of his ideological differences. He understood what he stood for, and rather than succumb to what others said or thought about him, he stayed resolute. Later he did become the British Prime Minister and steered Britain out of World War II and victory against the German Army.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

—Oscar Wilde

1. They have a firm resolve to reach their destination.

Reaching their destination is more important than any current setback they may face. They understand that success takes grit, perseverance and patience. And that comes against obstacles, challenges and being self-motivated rather than riding on the tides of others’ opinions.

2. They know people’s opinions are in a flux.

We all are in a constant state of flux. According to philosophers and theorists, we are constantly changing. What successful people know is that if people’s wrong opinions are thwarted with their success, such opinion and thoughts change.

3. They are the ones with the goals.

The successful are responsible for their actions—this they know. If things go wrong in their lives, they bear the brunt and not every other person. Thus they take charge and make sure that they attain their dreams and desires against what others think of them. Even when Thomas Edison was told he was too stupid to learn anything he still went ahead to hold on to 1,000 patents. It was his responsibility to be successful and not his teachers.

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4. They understand that life is too short.

They appreciate the very essence of their being and why it is necessary to make every second of their existence count. Dilly-dallying or being consumed with other people’s opinion becomes a distraction, and so they focus on what should be done.

5. They know what is best for them.

What applies to another person may not apply to you. Successful people do not ride through the sea on another person’s ship but on their own, because they know that only the vessel they are familiar with can take them to the coast of their dreams.

6. They are consistent.

They understand that success takes consistency. To be successful means staying on a track for success rather than going through several routes. People’s opinions could affect this consistency and this they ignore.

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7. They know they cannot please everybody.

This is a hard truth. Not everyone will see the world the same way you see it. Living according to another’s expectation of you will only get you burned out and frustrated. Thus, they try to please themselves only.

8. They can deal with the complications of life

Many use their opinions or disapproval to get out of their complicated lives. By speaking against you they find a source to involve you in their complex lives. But successful can deal with the complicated approach life has presented to them by paying less attention to all the distractions before them.

9. They seek freedom.

Successful people are not prisoners. Imagine what must have been said of Walt Disney after being fired by his newspaper editors for “lacking imagination.” Even when his businesses failed before finally premiering “Snow White” he continued to seek freedom. According to Lao Tzu, “caring about what others think will only make you their prisoner.”

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10. They don’t need anyone’s approval.

Whatever successful people do shouldn’t be validated by others because it really doesn’t matter. Success is success and it speaks for itself. People can think whatever they want but the responsibility of attaining success will always be your business, and you do not need anyone’s approval to go after your dreams.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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