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10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

Shy. Reserved. Slightly geeky. Socially awkward. If you ask people to describe an introvert, you’ll most likely hear them described these ways.

It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

Introverts are incredibly attractive, they just don’t put their awesomeness on display.

Introversion is only the tendency to be inwardly oriented. Instead of regaining energy from the company of others, introverts gather it from being alone. They enjoy being alone and take their time and space to think about a lot of things, which makes them exceptionally charming.

They’re deep thinkers.

Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time.  For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be.

Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.

When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.

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They have more intimate connections.

It takes something special for an introvert to bring you into their world. When they do, you can bet that they believe you’re someone special.

By bringing down barriers, an introvert is letting you know they’re interested in connecting with you beyond a superficial level. They’re displaying a level of intimacy and vulnerability that not many people get to see.

They’re great listeners.

Everyone dreams of having that partner with whom they can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart.

This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re looking for advice or support, what they will offer is something they’re giving just to you, and that’s valuable beyond measure.

They’re mysterious.

Anyone mysterious is always charming, right? Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face.

If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them.

Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.

They’re a challenge.

Just about everyone loves a challenge.  While extroverts lay it all out there for other people to see, introverts, being more guarded, let you know exactly what they want you to know when they want you to know it.

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Usually, introverts are experts in letting little bits of information out that are intended to pique the curiosity of someone they’re interested in.

Introverts are great social fishermen. Because they’re more inclined to have fewer, yet more intimate connections, this trail of information is to not only designed to attract someone, but as a test to see if the person they’re attempting to attract is worth the emotional investment.

Creating this challenge ensures that the introvert is that much more attractive. The joy is in the pursuit, and the introvert knows how to make the reward bigger than you imagine.

They take care of themselves.

Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in.

However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves.

You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.

They take care of others too.

Because they know what it is like to be on the outside looking in, introverts are great at taking care of those they care about.

They have a generous spirit, and tend to embrace genuine altruism. They’re the ones that will bring you a cup of tea every morning, bring you soup when you’re sick, and offer to watch your house when you’re on vacation.

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The truly generous, those who give without the expectation of receiving in return, are beautiful people inside and out.

They know themselves.

There’s something to be said about someone who is secure in who they are. Introverts know what they like and don’t like.

They are deeply connected with their values and know what they want to get out of life. Such strong self confidence makes one more attractive, sophisticated, and desirable.

They are easy to be around.

Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention. They’re not looking to make a huge impression on everyone around them. They’re simply looking to relax and enjoy the company they’re with.

It doesn’t matter what you want to do, they’re just happy to be spending time with you and are more than happy to let you have the spotlight on the karaoke stage all to yourself.

While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

They are loyal.

Introverts are very intentional about who they want to spend their time with.

Any relationship, whether business, social, or romantic, requires a substantial investment of time and energy for an introvert.  Because of this, introverts are not always on the prowl for the next big thing, the next score, the next connection that’ll help them climb the ladder.  They’re invested in you and will remain invested in you no matter the distraction. They’ll defend you when nobody else will and be at your side when everyone else abandons you.

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Just don’t take their loyalty for granted or take advantage of them too many times. They’re loyal, however if you burn them too many times, they’ll be nothing more than a memory.

Give introverts the personal space they need, and they’ll be your great company.

Just because someone enjoys being alone doesn’t mean they don’t like company. For introverts, interaction is energy draining somehow, and they only want to spend time and the limited energy on people who truly understand them and matter to them.

Always be polite and acknowledge their presence. Give introverts the personal space they need and be comfortable with being silent with them sometimes. They’ll appreciate you for not being pushy on them to get a lot of their attention.

So the next time you meet an introvert, don’t assume they’re being cold to you, it just takes time for them to break the ice with new people.

Introverts are amazing people with rich hidden depths, and if you are one or know one, rejoice!

Image credit: QuietrevINFJoe, Debbie Tung

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Christian Salafia

Rocket-scientist, Nuclear Engineer, Theologian, and creator of the TransformRadio podcast

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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